Happy September 1st everyone! I just returned from vacation down in the Outer Banks of North Carolina and we all had a great time! While I was there, forcing myself NOT to work, I had some thoughts about parenting. My mother in law made the comment, “I love how affectionate your kids are, and how much they obviously love you and love being around you!” It was a lovely comment and made me feel proud of the hard work that we have done to raise the kids the right. Yes, hard work…. let’s get serious, parenting is NOT easy! It’s not supposed to be easy. When you give your entire heart, and a literal piece of yourself to someone else, you will eventually get hurt, yet we love our kids unconditionally right? Not always!
I have heard many people stating that they “hate” their kids or step kids, and my opinion on this might surprise you. Hating your kids does NOT make you a bad parent. However, doing NOTHING about hating your kids does! Now I am not talking about the normal feelings of frustration that come from being a parent, I am talking about straight up hate. The kind of hate that makes a person go on Facebook to berate, belittle, and bash their own kids. There is something wrong with that. There is nothing wrong with venting, but there is everything wrong with launching a public tirade against those who should be able to trust you to protect them and their innocence.
If you hate your kids, you CAN like them again but it will take EFFORT on your part! YOU have to be the one to make changes, the kids won’t do it. The kids will not actively go to the book store and look up books about family happiness. They will simply turn away from the family, and look for something or something to replace what they are lacking. They will find it, in drugs, promiscuity, gangs, bad choices, and bad behavior. Sure, SOME kids will end up being “OK,” but are you willing to leave your kids future to chance? You want them to visit with grand-babies when they are adults, not excommunicate themselves from you.
Pick up a book, join a parenting group, take some classes, enroll in a workshop, and do whatever it takes to learn how to like your kids again! I personally offer several options like coaching, and my You’re Not My Real Mom eCourse as well. There are countless options for learning how to build better bonds with your children.
Thad and I have personally taken in several children who needed help and support. Not one of those kids are “bad” kids. They just needed support, empathy, and someone with a desire to LEARN how to help them. Each child had different needs, but the common need they ALL had was for love. It’s easier when you know how to do it. Commit to learning how to be a kick ass parent. Spend as much time learning as you can…. there are NO limitations to how much you can learn! You will be amazed how EASY it can be to turn your family life around when you learn and apply new techniques.
So today, please reach out to me, or check out my parenting support if you need help in your family! YOU are the change your family needs!
Please feel free to leave a comment with YOUR thoughts about today’s post!
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!