Did you know that your brain was not designed to be quiet? It was designed to process…
“Why don’t animals have butt cracks? Should I punish my kid for lying? What should I make for dinner tonight? What the hell is that mark on my cheek??? Did she really just look at me that way? Crap I forgot to stop at the post office again!”
Have you ever noticed that your brain is always working? If it wasn’t…. well…. you know… you’d be dead.
So yea, you are NOT a failure if you can’t meditate. In fact, I bet you CAN actually meditate, and you probably have, you just don’t realize it!
You know those times when you are so deeply present with something? That’s meditation!!
For me, it’s painting rocks…. the world could end while I’m painting and I wouldn’t even notice. I’m so deep into my painting that nothing else phases me. I’m completely relaxed and shut everything else out… and it’s effortless. For a close friend of mine… it’s eating! lol
So if sitting in full lotus with your hands on your knees doesn’t work for you…. try relaxing your brain into a mundane yet fulfilling activity such as painting… or whatever works for you!
Your mind is doing exactly what it’s supposed to do… analyze your world, assess risk, and create safety plans. We don’t have dinosaurs trying to kill us anymore, but our brain is still watching for the danger! It’s trying to process a threat that is no longer credible… which is boring so your brain needs to create some drama in the form of worry, anxiety, fear, nervousness, etc!
Give your brain something to do instead such as mantra: repeating a word or phrase over and over, or by going deep into the activities that you enjoy!
See? Meditation is actually pretty easy after all! Again, your not silencing your mind, your just giving it something to do while you relax!
Hope you have a great week… I’m off to NYC for a college tour with my “baby.” Wow. I blinked and she’s 17. It happens… hug your kiddos and cherish each moment!
Follow our adventures on Instagram (@heatherparis) and Facebook!
With love, gratitude, and inspiration,
Heather Paris
607-269-7815
www.liveinspirednow.com
Email me: heather@liveinspirednow.com
Coaching is a holistic alternative to therapy. It’s fast, affordable, and highly effective! Just hit reply to this email if you’d like to know how coaching could help you or your family!
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
I get this question often, “When should I speak up, and when should I just mind my own business?”
In fact, I often wonder that myself. As a coach, I’m almost always ready to jump in to help but is it always my business to do so?
I’ve discovered a sure fire way to know 100% of the time when you should speak up versus butting out….
Just ask!
I have adult children, so the opportunity to impart my own wisdom comes up often when I see my child struggling but I’ve learned that offering unsolicited advice is the best way to get someone to ignore it!
So now, I just ask if they want my help/advice/opinion.
If they say yes, then I give them my input.
If they say no, I leave it alone but let them know they are welcome to come to me if they need me.
During a conversation with my friend Carol (who inspired this post) she told me that someone once said to her, “You can listen to me with your head or your heart.”
I think that is a brilliant statement and I’ve tweaked it a little to use when you have to deliver UNsolicited advice because let’s face it, sometimes we just have to intervene:
“You can listen to me with your ego or your heart, but please know that I am giving my opinion because I care about you and wish the best for you.”
Your unsolicited advice will be more well received if you make your intentions clear in the beginning.
I can’t tell you how many kids believe their parents give advice to make their lives miserable and not because they actually care. Let them know you care!
Remember, the best advice is advice that is welcomed! 🙂
If you find this content helpful, please share it! Sharing is inspiring!
Have a super week! Don’t forget to register for the upcoming 1 day relationship retreat at beautiful del Lago Resort and Casino in Waterloo, NY!
“7 Principles For Making Marriage Work” at del Lago Resort and Casino in Waterloo, New York!!
We only have space for 3 more couples so if you are interested, act NOW!! Get more info here!!! Or hit reply to this email!
With love, gratitude, and inspiration,
Heather Paris
www.liveinspirednow.com
Email me: heather@liveinspirednow.com
Coaching is a holistic alternative to therapy. It’s fast, affordable, and highly effective! Just hit reply to this email if you’d like to know how coaching could help you or your family!
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
Are you old enough to remember parachute pants? They were popular in the 80’s, they were made of some kind of plasticy fabric, and they had zippers all over!
Only the coolest kids wore them so of course I wanted a pair… in black, and skin tight! Only I wasn’t allowed to wear skin tight anything!
My mom, being so loving and kind, decided to buy me a pair… no doubt to make me happy. BUT……she didn’t buy them at the cool store, no.
She bought them at the higher end store and made sure they were NOT tight. In fact, they were baggie which was so not cool in the mid 80’s!
I was excited to wear them anyway… and I proudly climbed onto the school bus to head to 8th grade with my best friend of the week, Angel, and that’s when it happened. All the boys on the back of the bus started laughing hysterically and called me “sandwich baggie pants!”
Great. I finally get my black parachute pants and now everyone’s calling me “sandwich baggie pants.”
I never wore those pants again which was too bad because they were expensive, good quality, and I would have grown into them.
Fast forward about a million years….. how does this apply to husbands?
I see many single people looking for the perfect fit in a mate but they often over look quality for what’s trendy, or because of what other people say. Or because they are focusing on something shallow rather than seeing all the really good things!
Just like the pants…. they might not be the exact fit, but if they are quality and YOU can grow into them, then they might be the better choice!
It took me 3 divorces and years of turmoil to learn these valuable lessons:
- Don’t compromise quality because other people don’t understand worth.
- Marry someone with like values, not necessarily a like mind.
- Don’t date or marry someone you’ve already grown past and hope they will catch up.
Listen, relationships aren’t hard. Love it, change your attitude about it, or leave it. There are no other options!
Repair your relationship, or learn to find the RIGHT one now with our DIY Relationship Repair video series!!!
And stay tuned…….
I LOVE coaching! I get to help people, I can work from anywhere, and I always feel like I am living my purpose!! The Live Inspired Now Coach Training opens for enrollment in July!!!
With love, gratitude, and inspiration,
Heather Paris
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
Your kiddo would like you to know that when YOU feel good, THEY feel good!!!
It really is that simple.
Parents over work and under take care of themselves so they can “provide” for the family but what the kid really wants is for you to be happy.
In fact, every kid I talk to cares more about their parents happiness than they do about their cell phones. They would give up all their electronic toys if it meant their parents would smile, laugh, and spend quality time with them.
Your kids will only ever be as OK as you are!
Stress rolls downhill! If you are stressed so are they. And blanket statements like “I have to work to provide all the nice things you have!” does not negate their stress!
Think about that. No really think about it……….
When was the last time someone stressed themselves out for you and you felt good about it?
Likely, never! Unless you’re a sociopath (and you’re not) you would never want someone else to be stressed to the max for you! You would feel horrible!
So. Take better care of yourself. There is a 100% link between mental health and physical health.
Work less, workout more…. and ask the kids to join you! You don’t have to go kill it at a gym… just take a walk, or a hike together!
Eat less, cook more…. and ask the kids to join you in the kitchen! You don’t have to prepare a 5 course meal… but cook a healthy meal instead of grabbing take out all of the time.
Your kids want you to spend time with them more than they want you to spend money on them. So cut the stress and hug your babies! Listen… they move out on their own far quicker than you realize!
You don’t want them to reach 18 and be dying to leave the house because it’s so stressful! You want them to feel bittersweet… happy to start a new adventure, but also miss you! That way they come back to visit!
With love, gratitude, and inspiration,
Heather Paris
UPDATE: I’ve lost 40 pounds which is 160 pounds of pressure off my joints!! I feel amazing and have loads of energy, and I’ve seen a shift in my own kids and how they are eating as well!!!
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
If you haven’t heard of the Netflix show “13 Reason Why” and you have children, you should really become familiar.
The long and short of it is this. A teenage girl goes through some pretty horrible experiences, creates 13 cassette tapes addressed to the people that hurt her, leaves the tapes with a friend, then goes home and commits suicide.
Does “13 Reasons Why” glorify suicide? Yes, and no. Let me explain…
If your child is mentally and emotionally strong and resilient, and not easily influenced, then no, it’s not glorifying suicide.
If your child is mentally or emotionally vulnerable, has little or no control over their emotions, and is easily influenced, then yes, absolutely it will glorify suicide to your child who’s watching the show in a raw mental state.
I personally watched the entire series with my 15 year old daughter Carrie. There were violent scenes including 2 rapes, underage drinking and drugs, horrendous examples of parenting, and countless disappointments that make you want to scream to the screen to save this poor young girl who was already dead in the first episode. They even showed her suicide, and it wasn’t a hint, it was a full gut wrenching, emotionally torturous scene.
Carrie and I cried, we were appalled, we cringed and closed our eyes, and we gasped but most of all…. we talked.
I don’t think any child, no matter what age, should be allowed to watch this show without parental participation and input. Again, if your teen is struggling… this series will show them how much influence a dead girl has on the world and I know that is NOT what you want your teen focused on if they are in pain.
Let me share with you 13 Reason Why you’d better empower your kids, before they think that suicide is a good option.
- It’s your job, responsibility, and obligation to ensure your child’s mental, emotional, social, and physical safety at all times and you can’t do that if you don’t know what they are watching, who they are with, and what they are experiencing.
- Your kind words may be the only ones they hear in a day.
- Anti-bullying campaigns don’t work. There will always be bully’s and mean people. The best way to protect your child is to teach them to protect themselves! Teach them emotional intelligence and resilience, mental strength, and some physical training wouldn’t hurt either! Self defense classes are a great way to help young people feel more secure!
- Make it safe for them to talk to you about anything so you can help them when they struggle. Let them know they will not get in trouble for being honest because their safety is your first priority!
- You can’t fix dead.
- When they leave the house, they need to know that no matter how bad the day was, they have a safe place to come home to. Safe from fighting, abuse, neglect, and despair… otherwise, they will find another place to spend their time and it only has to be LESS abusive, not healthy.
- Kids who are engaged in groups, sports, or activities with people, feel more accepted and connected and less likely to feel desperate.
- Kids who know how to care for their own emotional and mental needs are less likely to be discouraged when they are faced with challenges or tough times.
- Kids who are discerning are less likely to hang out with people who are involved in risky behavior or with people who won’t have their best interest in mind.
- Confident kids will advocate for themselves when they need it.
- Kids who understand consequences make better choices.
- Kids learn from, copy, and are deeply influenced by TV shows and if you don’t agree with me then explain to me why advertisers pay millions of dollars for one Superbowl commercial!
- Suicide doesn’t take pain away, it just gives it to other people.
Listen, this show can be a nightmare or an opportunity. If your child is struggling, don’t let them watch it and take this as a HUGE SCREAMING SIGN to do something to empower your kiddo before it’s too late! Never take your child’s safety for granted.
It is your responsibility to model good emotional and mental health for your children and to communicate with them! You can’t over communicate!
Please please please talk to your kids today. If you need help, reach out!! If you feel like you need to learn some mental and emotional intelligence yourself, join my life coach training course now and get what you need to empower yourself and your family! (Registration closes at the end of this week.)
There is NO substitute for your relationship with your child. They need you even if they say they don’t. They want you to know them, even if they say they don’t. And they love you even if they don’t say it.
Please share this article with anyone who has children. Let’s spread the word and see how many families we can help! Thank you!
Experience has made me wise, coaching has shown me how to share that wisdom.
Your friends already come to your for advice…. add these practical coaching strategies to your toolbox and blow your friends mind with your awesomeness! Become a life coach…. get paid for what you already do, and make a huge impact on your world!
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Join us today and share your gift with the world!
Love and inspiration,
Heather Paris
National Suicide Prevention Hotline: open 24/7
Call 1-800-273-8255
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!