Once, many years ago, a friend of mine called me “obnoxious” because I always like to be doing things. I didn’t want to just stay home… I wanted to take road trips, go to conventions, and I always had some volunteering or service project that I was involved in.
She said it was obnoxious that I “always needed something to look forward to” as if I was never content and let me know that she believed she was far more “grounded” than I was.
It hurt my feelings. I felt judged for being an adventurer, and I felt rejected by her because she never cared enough to get involved in any of my projects, or even to ask about them.
The worst part of it all, was that I constantly questioned myself instead of looking at the source of the criticism. And that is common.
Criticism or judgment comes our way and we think “What’s wrong with ME” instead of asking ourselves “What’s wrong in this person’s life that they need to criticize me?”
I lived like a prisoner to the opinion of other people for far too long and I didn’t speak up because I was afraid of hearing “I don’t want to be your friend anymore!”
I let people who would insult me have power over me! That’s just crazy!
So I learned to be brave enough to live life my way. I hope you will too!
Here are a few tips to be brave enough to live life your way:
1 Keep it real. Let’s face it, if someone is willing to dump you because you have an opinion, then they don’t deserve to be in your life anyway! Upgrade your tribe!
2 Embrace your supporters! You DO have someone in your life that is always supportive…. embrace them, thank them, and invite them to the celebration of YOU!
3 Realize that judgment is nothing more than an opinion. And do you want to live by the opinion of someone else, especially if he’s a jerk? No way!
4 Try it! Action will always make you feel brave! Over-thinking or prolonged planning will only hold you back from taking that first step!
5 Be aware and accepting! It’s OK to be afraid of doing, being, or trying… don’t beat yourself up! Admit you are afraid, accept that fear is normal, and go for it while you are still afraid!
6 Nobody ever died from judgment or rejection! Allow yourself to feel sad, hurt, embarrassed or whatever and then move on!
A friend (a real friend) once said to me, “I admire you, You are always so brave, you don’t care what other people think!” I thought about that statement for a long time and responded… “I care what you think, but I no longer care what some people think. We only have limited, precious time on earth and I won’t squander that time on people that don’t appreciate me as I am.”
I honor who you are, and I hope you will honor YOU as well!
Love and Inspiration,
Heather
Want help with something you are struggling with? Contact me today!
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
Wow wow wow!!!
I recommend books all the time, but THIS book… seriously, I almost unfriended someone over it! lol
The other day I told a friend, “If you don’t read Love Warrior, we can no longer be friends!” And although I wasn’t seriously going to unfriend her, I was serious about my passion for this book!
Love Warrior will transform your thinking, and inspire your soul! I hope you will read it, and I really hope you will let me know what you think of it too. Get Love Warrior on Amazon here.
The book you don’t read won’t help! -Jim Rohn
I am not going to tell you anything about the book itself. I want you to discover all the beauty, raw truth, and inspiration for yourself. But do let me know what you think!! 🙂
Have you already read the book? Be sure to share it with someone who could use it!
Love and Inspiration,
Heather
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
Lately it seems most of my clients are parents so I thought I would pass along the wisdom I have shared several times this week!
You are responsible for keeping your kids safe, not comfortable!
We all want our kids to be happy and healthy, and we never want them to suffer. But sometimes we mistake “suffering” for discomfort.
Discomfort is appropriate and healthy. Discomfort creates an environment for kids to learn how to self soothe, take responsibility, and discover their own strengths.
Here are a few tips to creating and allowing an appropriate level of discomfort:
- Allow your kids to complete their own homework, or projects without your input
- Don’t always rush out to their school to bring them what they forgot at home
- Encourage your kids to try new things
- Assign household responsibilities (aka chores)
- Instead of giving your opinion, ask them what THEY think
- Ask for their advice, input, or opinion on family matters (not critical issues)
- Use natural consequences instead of punishments
- Use boundaries instead of discipline
- Stop over praising and start asking them how THEY think they did, look, performed, etc…
Remember when they were toddlers and kept falling down while they were learning to walk? Those falls eventually turned into strength and balance!
Let’s be honest, raising kids is the hardest thing you will ever do! It was hard to watch them fall as toddlers, and it’s hard to watch them struggle as teenagers, But it’s worth it when you know they are prepared for the tough world that’s full of challenges!
There are easy solutions to most parenting challenges, all you have to do is reach out and ask for help! Another quick tip… if you can, ask for help BEFORE it becomes critical!
If you are in Upstate New York, please check out this FREE event:
3 Exceptional Talks at the Family Wellness Event that will change your life:
- Raise your kids GPA! by Special Education Teacher Katie Dennis
- Get your teenagers engaged in a positive passion! by 15 yr old life coach Carrie Deaville
- Fix your damaged or dying relationship! presented by Me!
September 22nd, 5:30 – 7:30pm at NaturTyme
Register, share, and get more info here! Bring a friend too!
You already love your kids, but now you can actually like them too! 😉
Love,
Heather
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
Yes, a producer from The Steve Harvey show called me today and inquired about having me on the show!!! AMAZING right!?
So why did I say “no?”
Just because a door opens, doesn’t mean you should jump at what’s behind it!
When I got the phone call from the producer, I was speaking at a charity event. I listened to the voicemail and was so excited and couldn’t wait to call back to get the scoop.
The producer told me that they wanted me, and my step-daughter to come on the show as guests for a step-mom / step-daughter segment. Now when she called, I thought she was calling to have me on as an expert who could give insight on the topic. I did write a best-selling book called “You’re Not My Real Mom” about step parenting after all!
I called my daughter Mattie and we talked about it. Mattie took a call from the producer as well. After some really personal questions, and what seemed like “digging for drama,” Mattie and I decided not to do it.
I’ve dreamed of being on that show, and I absolutely love Steve Harvey, but nothing is worth creating drama in my relationship with my kiddo, and nothing is worth my integrity.
I messaged the producer back and offered to come on the show alone, as a best-selling author and expert, who could provide valuable strategies to guests who are struggling in blended families. We will see what she says!
We’ve all been tempted to put up with something that doesn’t feel right because we want something so bad, but it’s just not worth your integrity. Opportunities are not “one and done,” there will be more!
Your dreams will come true when you stay true to your personal truth! (There’s alotta truth there!)
The best part of my day today…. speaking at the “Hope 4 Us” construction skills training course which trains people in construction, then helps them get jobs! Now THAT was a huge honor for me!
I hope you have a fantastic week and remember to think, act, and live abundantly because opportunities are always presenting themselves!
Love,
Heather
PS: Only 3 spots remain in the Life Coach Training program, if you’ve thought about joining- it’s time to take action! Register here!
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
Has anyone ever told you: “Tear down those walls! Let people in! You’re pushing people away!”
What if that was an OK thing to do sometimes? Let’s face it, not every person should be in our life!
If someone is mean, hurtful, or abusive, shouldn’t we protect ourselves from them?
Watch today’s short video and see what I say about protecting ourselves from abusive people!!!
Watch it, share it, and live inspired now!
Love,
Heather
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!