Happy September 1st everyone! I just returned from vacation down in the Outer Banks of North Carolina and we all had a great time! While I was there, forcing myself NOT to work, I had some thoughts about parenting. My mother in law made the comment, “I love how affectionate your kids are, and how much they obviously love you and love being around you!” It was a lovely comment and made me feel proud of the hard work that we have done to raise the kids the right. Yes, hard work…. let’s get serious, parenting is NOT easy! It’s not supposed to be easy. When you give your entire heart, and a literal piece of yourself to someone else, you will eventually get hurt, yet we love our kids unconditionally right? Not always!
I have heard many people stating that they “hate” their kids or step kids, and my opinion on this might surprise you. Hating your kids does NOT make you a bad parent. However, doing NOTHING about hating your kids does! Now I am not talking about the normal feelings of frustration that come from being a parent, I am talking about straight up hate. The kind of hate that makes a person go on Facebook to berate, belittle, and bash their own kids. There is something wrong with that. There is nothing wrong with venting, but there is everything wrong with launching a public tirade against those who should be able to trust you to protect them and their innocence.
If you hate your kids, you CAN like them again but it will take EFFORT on your part! YOU have to be the one to make changes, the kids won’t do it. The kids will not actively go to the book store and look up books about family happiness. They will simply turn away from the family, and look for something or something to replace what they are lacking. They will find it, in drugs, promiscuity, gangs, bad choices, and bad behavior. Sure, SOME kids will end up being “OK,” but are you willing to leave your kids future to chance? You want them to visit with grand-babies when they are adults, not excommunicate themselves from you.
Pick up a book, join a parenting group, take some classes, enroll in a workshop, and do whatever it takes to learn how to like your kids again! I personally offer several options like coaching, and my You’re Not My Real Mom eCourse as well. There are countless options for learning how to build better bonds with your children.
Thad and I have personally taken in several children who needed help and support. Not one of those kids are “bad” kids. They just needed support, empathy, and someone with a desire to LEARN how to help them. Each child had different needs, but the common need they ALL had was for love. It’s easier when you know how to do it. Commit to learning how to be a kick ass parent. Spend as much time learning as you can…. there are NO limitations to how much you can learn! You will be amazed how EASY it can be to turn your family life around when you learn and apply new techniques.
So today, please reach out to me, or check out my parenting support if you need help in your family! YOU are the change your family needs!
Please feel free to leave a comment with YOUR thoughts about today’s post!
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
ORDER HERE: YOU’RE NOT MY REAL MOM!
Getting divorced? Getting re-married? Or maybe you are already a “step” family and you are ready to throw it all away because your family is not functioning well? HELP HAS ARRIVED!!! I just released my new program: You’re Not My Real Mom; Proven strategies for the success of your blended family and it is awesome!
Your eCourse will contain an eBook with bonus videos, homework and success strategies to get your family on track. Go at your own pace!
You will also have access to our secret support group on facebook. Look at what people are already saying about this ONE OF A KIND course:
“You’re Not My Real Mom” is truly a must buy if you are in ANY kind of family! I don’t know of any other program out there that can cover issues like she does…it’s as if she knows your family’s issues personally. Not only is it helpful and full of really practical information, but Heather’s teaching style is fun and makes it easy to learn! I will recommend this program to any of my friends who decide to get remarried so they can have the best possible start to creating a happy, healthy, step family!” -Heather Westover-Petruzzi; NY
“Heather was my coach before I started the course so I already knew it would be good before I started. Although not everything was directly relevant to me now (as am just post divorce) I found it useful getting an overview of situations and how to handle them before I find myself in that position. A large portion of the info was very relevant regardless of marital situation though – thanks again Heather!” -TM; Israel
“The most important thing I learned is to communicate with your children and spouse, and spouses children to help the kids through any transition and so you and your spouse have the same idea when it comes to each other’s kids.” -MR; PA
Do not wait another moment before getting your family back on track! Your family CAN be happy, healthy, and functional… no matter what type of family you are! Check out the new course… you will be very HAPPY that you did!
ORDER HERE: YOU’RE NOT MY REAL MOM!
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
It’s unfortunate that we ever have to break bad news to children, but when we do, it’s important to do it in a way that is gentle and won’t harm children. Please watch today’s video with tips that will help you break bad news in a way that is supportive and will help kids process through in the healthiest way possible. I speak specifically about breaking news of loss, but these tips apply when it comes to speaking to them about divorce, death, loss, tragedy, natural disasters, or whatever unfortunate event has occurred in their life. Please share this with anyone who needs it, and Live Inspired Now!
Here is the direct youtube link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8VWg39–Gew
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
OK, I know it’s new territory for me to post a recipe, but these muffins were THAT good! I have been trying to give up, or at least cut back on gluten, but not all gluten-free recipes are edible in my opinion. Sometimes gluten-free means dry and gross and who wants a dry and gross muffin? So last night I looked up vegan muffin recipes, then experimented with my own additions and subtractions to come up with this recipe.
Oh, and please don’t forget to tune in tomorrow to my weekly free broadcast on Spreecast! My friend and expert coach, Peg, will be with me to discuss transitioning into a vegetarian/vegan life. Peg is a long time vegan and certified nutrition specialist. Join us tomorrow, Thursday, July 17th, at 12:00 noon (eastern time) at: http://www.spreecast.com/events/how-to-become-a-vegetarian.html?share=facebook
The Most Incredible Blueberry Muffins You Will Ever Have!
¼ cup natures balance softened (vegan butter)
½ cup unsweetened applesauce (mine said naturally sweetened)
½ tsp. salt
1 cup granulated sugar
1 cup gluten-free all-purpose flour
1 cup quick oats
1 tablespoon baking powder
1 tablespoon vanilla extract
½ cup vanilla almond milk
2 cups fresh blueberries
Fill muffin papers and bake at 350 for 35 minutes until knife inserted into center comes out clean. Enjoy and Live Inspired Now!
PS: If you have teenagers in the house, don’t let them eat your muffins or they will be GONE in 2 minutes flat! 😉
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
Kids are born with everything they need to grow into confident, self-assured, well-rounded adults…. yet self-esteem is gravely lacking in our culture. Why? Because we teach kids to ignore everything they are naturally born with.
We teach them to seek approval rather than to self advocate. We teach them that their needs are less important than others. We teach them to compromise their own feelings. And worst of all, we teach them to self loathe by the examples we set.
We should not be teaching kids to get validation for their self-worth from a gold star sticker. They are good and worthy just because they exist, yet we teach them that their only worth is when the parents or teachers are pleased with them.
Then, we teach them to “share” their toys, and “be fair,” which is completely contrary to real life. Yes, we want to teach kids generosity and compassion, but not at the expense of their own feelings or happiness. You don’t share your house, car, or shiny new tractor with people, so don’t expect your child to share their favorite toy either. If it’s special, they may not want to share it. Teach them instead to share their time with others because THEY are what’s special… not the toy.
Things are not always “fair” in life, they aren’t supposed to be. Teaching kids to be “fair” is actually only training them to be “entitled!” Entitled kids grow up to think they deserve things, and that they shouldn’t have to work for what they have. They end up living in your basement when they are 30 with nothing but a million excuses as to why “life isn’t fair” and is holding them back!
And finally, we teach kids to self loathe because that is what we mirror for them. Kids are completely in love with themselves when they are small. They love to see themselves in mirrors, they make silly faces at themselves, they smile, laugh, and dance without a care in the world. They don’t care who is watching, nor do they care what anyone thinks. Until they see Mom or Dad become embarrassed, or Mom and Dad tells them to “stop because everyone is watching.” Or the child stands and watches Mom poke her own fat in the mirror and talk about how disgusting she is. Or the child hears Dad say “Keep your voice down, I don’t want anyone to think we are losers.” There are millions of examples of how we teach our kids to dim their own light. The best thing we can do to counteract this is to model better behavior. Kids will hate or love themselves, just as much as we do! Do them a favor and love yourself, respect yourself, hold yourself in much higher esteem!
Our society, in general doesn’t promote self-esteem. Isn’t it time for a change? Especially since we are already born with esteem and we go out of our way to wreck it! Let’s stop doing that! Let’s start to raise the standard of confidence, worth, respect, altruism, and self-esteem in our society! Let’s start by not removing these inherent traits in our young people. Let’s model good behavior, raise the standard, and Live Inspired Now!
Learn to raise healthy, happy, well adjusted kids who lead and succeed!! Join the Live Inspired Now Coach Training here!!
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!