I’m proud of something my daughter Carrie said, but I didn’t tell her I was proud, and here’s why…
So Carrie was invited to a party at her friends house. She was told the party would be totally unchaperoned!
( No parents. No rules. No freakin way right!? )
Carrie came home from school and this is what she said to me:
“Mom, I feel sad because all my friends are having a party and I’m not going. There will be no parents at the party, so I’m not going…. and I know I wouldn’t be allowed to go anyway, but really I don’t want to with no adults.”
No. This was not a dream! My 15 year old daughter really said this to me! And my reply….
“I’m sorry you feel sad about missing the party. It sounds like you are making a great choice! How do you feel about that?”
She told me that she felt proud of herself and I offered her a hug which she took!
Oh man… what a proud mommy moment!
I have lots of proud moments with her and I do tell her I am proud of her sometimes, but emotional intelligence is all about helping kids build their own self esteem, and self pride so they will make the right choices all on their own!
- Kids make better choices when they want to be proud of themselves vs. just making their parents proud.
- Kids make better choices when they are coached through challenges vs. being forced into submission.
- Kids make better choices when they see emotional intelligence modeled for them.
- Kids make better choices when they know how to explain their feelings instead of acting on them!
Listen, if you are pregnant, or your children are small, it’s easier to start “emotion coaching” your children now while they are still so impressionable.
If you have teens, it’s not too late, but it is much harder! If you need help, please just hit reply to this email and I am happy to talk to you about how coaching could help you and your family!
In the meantime, instead of making all the decisions for your kids:
- Give them age appropriate responsibility and ask them how they feel about their choices!
- Take an interest in how they feel about things, not just the situation.
- And when possible, let natural consequences happen instead of punishing.
Have a super duper rest of your week!!
And don’t forget… if you are struggling in your relationship, you need to check out www.diyrelationshiprepair.com today before there is no relationship left to repair!
What do you think about today’s post? Hit reply to this email and let me know!
With love, gratitude, and inspiration,
Heather Paris
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
I know this goes against what most people say, but I don’t believe in forgiving everyone!
Some things shouldn’t be forgiven because if you do, you run the risk of softening your convictions.
Convictions are fuel for purpose and help you take action that could make positive change in the world!
Forgive a child molester, rapist, or murderer? No freakin way!
I don’t want to soften how I feel about people who pose real and actual danger to myself or other people!
You don’t owe forgiveness to anyone but yourself!
In fact, it’s not YOUR responsibility to forgive anyone BUT yourself.
I have found that most people are more upset with themselves than with the person who hurt them. They blame themselves for not “saying no,” for “not being strong enough to fight,” and even for “being stupid enough to fall for the lies.”
The real forgiveness is only owed to yourself! Stop beating yourself up for being a victim! The most empowering thing you can do is to forgive yourself and find ways to not be the victim again!
The other person can work on his or her own forgiveness.
I would encourage you to understand instead of forgiving. So maybe you understand that the person who hurt you was abused as a child and learned to hurt others. It’s not an excuse, and no forgiveness is needed, but you understand that “hurt people hurt people.”
Forgiveness is a deeply personal act of sacrifice because you are agreeing to override your feelings to give absolution to another. This is something that should be honored and reserved for people who are truly sorry, have made amends, and will not repeat what they have done.
Everyone else can have compassion because you are able to understand how they became so damaged, but not forgiven.
What do you think about today’s post? Hit reply to this email and let me know!
With love, gratitude, and inspiration,
Heather Paris
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
Score each relationship category on a 1-10 scale, based on the following questions:
(1 = the worst. 10= the best.)
Security: ____
How stable does your relationship feel right now?
Emotional Freedom: ____
Does your partner accept you unconditionally?
Recognition: ____
Does your partner make you feel important, needed, desired, or
respected?
Spirit: ____
Are you growing together versus apart?
Adventure: ____
Do you have fun and play together or surprise one another?
Love: ____
Do you feel connected emotionally, mentally, socially, and sexually?
TOTAL SCORE: ____
0-30: Fix it or lose it!
Time for repairs. It can be done, even if your partner won’t participate! You can’t change him or her, but you absolutely can inspire and influence with some strategies!! Get DIY Relationship Repair now, don’t wait another moment!
31-42: Not bad, but not awesome!
If someone told you their relationship was “not bad” how long would you expect it to last? “Not bad” relationships are easily swayed to awesome, or horrendous by one small thing! You can easily learn how to make sure it becomes awesome! Get DIY Relationship Repair now!
43-60: Level up!
Looks like you are enjoying a nice relationship with someone special! Keep it up by continuing to grow together! Take it to the next level by learning how to create even more magic moments together! Get DIY Relationship Repair now!
Your score doesn’t determine your relationship success, your willingness to learn and grow does!
Get your DIY Relationship Repair course and see RESULTS today!!
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!