I really think I was born in the wrong era. I am very old fashioned and I often wonder why manners aren’t taught in school. Is it just me or does anyone else remember not being allowed to yell or scream while we were in public? A few weeks ago I was at Wal-Mart and a women was repeatedly yelling and calling her young son an idiot. There were people shopping in their pajamas, and still others who would nearly knock you over rather than say “excuse me” as they pass by.
OK, you all know that Thad and I can get pretty silly while we are out shopping, however, we always use manners and are respectful of others. In fact, generally we can be found helping elderly people find items, or assisting disabled shoppers when they drop or can’t reach something.
Meanwhile, I stand in line while other shoppers huff and puff to dramatically express their irritation at the person who dares to take “too long” to check out.
What happened to good old fashioned manners? The other day, after my Toastmasters speech in Ithaca, I received a “Thank You” note in the mail. The real mail, like, in the mail box! The card expressed gratitude that I took the time to come and speak at their club. It was SO lovely! I haven’t received an old fashioned “thank you” in a long time! That was classy!
It is unfortunate that good manners sets you apart from the rest; being polite should be the norm but it isn’t. So my dear readers, if you want to stand out and be noticed, be polite. If you want your children to stand out from the crowd and be leaders, teach them good manners and to be respectful. Teach them that NOT everyone wants to hear about what their boyfriend did last night, or that they have to get rechecked at the doctor, while they blab away on their cell phones. OHHHH, and while I am at it, please tell the young ladies in your life not to take “selfies” in the bathroom! Why do young people think its attractive to have a photo with a toilet in the background? OK, again… that might just be my pet peeve, but I think it’s valid. I could go on for days, but I won’t.
Today, let’s create change by being the best example of good manners and politeness and Live Inspired Now!
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
Oh man, I am so sore today! Thad and I took a free introductory kickboxing class last night. It was AWESOME! I really loved it! Not only was it great exercise, but it felt really great to learn some self defense techniques too. Not that I have ever needed them, but it does feel very empowering to know that you can defend yourself should the need ever arise. I also felt very relaxed afterwards. I can’t tell you how much stress just melted right off while pummeling the bag. Oh… also, we got to pummel these sand bag people. It was hysterical! The sand bag man is on the floor, you straddle it and beat the crap out of it! Thad and I felt a little awkward at first but we soon got very into it! lol. I told Thad to take out his angst about the goats breaking into the chicken coop all day long, and then he was really beating that sand man up! It was so much fun. We had a great time together, burned many calories, and got to do something healthy and fun!
Clear YOUR mind of “can’t.” Empower yourself with some martial arts… there are many more besides kickboxing. You won’t believe how powerful it feels to learn to protect yourself and be responsible for your own fitness! Check out a martial arts studio in your area, most of them offer a free introductory class. Try it out, empower yourself, have fun, and Live Inspired Now!
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
How many of you have ever know a Debbie Downer or a Sad Face Sally? You know who I mean, the Negative Nelly that always sees the bad in everything. No matter how good things are, they find a way to cast a dark shadow. Or maybe if you have NEVER met anyone like that… maybe it’s YOU? (Nahhhh, it’s definitely not you!)
The next time you cross paths with one of these people, try using a “state change” to influence their behavior. A state change is when you create a change in a persons state of mind, mood, or thoughts. We can also change our own state too. Maybe you feel a little down in the dumps and don’t know why? Maybe you are going through some real life challenges and need something that will perk you up?
There are 3 ways to change a persons state…. focus, language, and physiology.
Let’s start with physiology. Physiology is the way in which you use your body. Have you ever just sat down for a moment to relax and fell asleep, then woke up and said “I didn’t even know I was tired!” That is because your mind knows what to do given the way you use your body! So to change your state, use your body better. Sit or stand up straight, get off the couch, move and exercise, and be in a positive, alert position. If you want to change another person’s state, take them for a walk, get them up, and get them moving!
The next is focus. What we focus on is what we feel so if you are constantly thinking about bad things, then you feel bad. Change your own state or someone else’s with distraction. Never tell someone “just don’t think about it!” That doesn’t work and I can prove it. Right now… DO NOT think about a bright yellow, juicy, tart lemon. No, I said DON’T think about it. Naturally, you have to think about what you are not supposed to think about. A better method is distraction. LOOK, A SQUIRREL!! Just distract yourself with something else, like a squirrel, or getting involved in another project, or by focusing on what you are actually doing in the moment.
The last state change tool is language. Again, your brain listens to the words you use and creates your world around them. If you are constantly saying “I’m fat,” then your brain will believe it and when you look in the mirror, you will see a fat person, even if you are thin. Your brain is like a computer, it has to be correct. Just like a calculator will always make 2+2=4, your brain will always align your experiences up with your beliefs. So change your state by using POSITIVE language.
Say things like I CAN do things, I AM beautiful, I WILL succeed. Change another persons state the same way… with encouraging language… I BELIEVE in YOU, YOU ROCK, etc….
The best way to influence another person will always be by setting a great example. Use these simple techniques to change your state, influence those around you, and Live Inspired Now!
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
Our family mission is built around generosity and helping others. We take steps to instill these values in our children too. Generosity is not something people are born with. In fact, we are born rather selfish. Babies come in to the world equipt to get their needs met, not to give back. This is a trait we must help them develop over the years. Here are 3 ways to teach kids to become generous adults:
1 Explain the concept: Some kids may have no idea that there are people who go without or people who need help. Make kids aware of reality without scaring them. Using age appropriate language, let them know that many people around the world live in poverty. Explain your reasons for helping: it makes you feel good to give back, it is nice to give toys to kids who don’t have any, or it makes you sad to see people who don’t have food and you want to help. Ask them to try and explain how they might feel if they had to go without. Ask them how they might want to help and why.
2 Get kids involved: When doing charity or donating to a cause, allow the kids to be a part of it. If donating money, ask them to donate some and you will match their donation. No matter the amount, even if they donate a few cents, praise them for doing so! If you volunteer, sign them up to work too! You can give them a few options to choose from, but let them know the entire family will be volunteering. Be sure to praise whatever they have done! (Some kids may be shy at first, even if they don’t fully embrace their role, praise them for being part!)
3 Let kids be creative givers: Allow the kids to come up with ideas on how they can help! They may want to make cards for kids in the hospital, or draw pictures for soldiers, collect pennies that they find to donate, or maybe they want to bring a little extra something in their lunchbox to give to a friend who doesn’t have much. There are so many ways that kids are creative, allow them to use their imagination and they will be far more invested in being generous.
Modeling generosity will always be the very best way to raise generous kids. It’s not the amount that you give; rather, the spirit of generosity that they will inherit. Be generous with your time and resources, allow the kids to play a role, and Live Inspired Now!
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
