Years ago, when I was in an unhealthy relationship, I was desperate to find a way to fix it, until I could no longer stand it, then I was desperate to find a way out.
I was so consumed with trying to find a way out and I was so focused on how unhappy I was, that I could never really see any options.
Have you ever felt that lost? I remember sitting in my car with my BFF and just balling my eyes and telling her I just wanted things to be different. I wanted to love, or even would have settled for “liking” my spouse again, but I just didn’t. I felt so trapped, like I was doomed to stay in a state of limbo.
One day, while driving in my car, it all became clear to me. It was like the sun shone directly on me and opened up my soul or something!
And in that moment, for a brief time, I wasn’t consumed with misery and despair, so clarity finally had room to flood in.
It was me… I had been preventing my own growth because I had only been focusing on the problem… and not taking any responsibility for my relationship.
Blaming others, feeling bad, and focusing on my own misery, were the very things holding me back from making a change and fixing my own life! All my excuses seemed to fade away and I realized that I had 3 options to choose from:
- Stay and be miserable.
- Stay and be happy.
Stay and be miserable was what I had been doing and it wasn’t working, so that option was a big fat NO!
Stay and be happy didn’t work either. I’d love to say I was strong enough to “just love” someone who was acting unlovable, but I wasn’t. No matter how much I tried, prayed, meditated, etc… in my heart, I knew that I couldn’t stay. It wasn’t good for me, or for him, and it certainly wasn’t good for the kids.
Leaving was the kindest option and so I left. I felt free. I felt alive again. I felt like I liked myself again. I could breathe. I could remember what made me happy. I could be a better example. I could heal.
I had resisted leaving for a long time because I didn’t know how things would work logistically.
- How would I make it as a single mom?
- How would I pay my bills?
- How would I take care of a big house alone?
The truth was, all these things worked themselves out. It took time, and it was terrifying. But it all worked out. I handled everything that came my way!
Things always work out for the greater good when we focus on truth instead of fear.
I have no regrets. I’ve made tons of mistakes in the past, but I am deeply grateful for every single one of them because it brought me to this moment to share what I have learned.
I am now living and loving every little bit of my life and if someone had told me that back then, I would’ve never believed it!
Stop blaming, making excuses, and focusing on the negative. Take a good hard look at your decisions, actions, behaviors, thoughts, words, and choices and see how YOU are the solution to your problems!
You are not the problem, you are the SOLUTION to the problem!
I hope you will look forward in faith and make the decision to challenge yourself to make the changes you need to love your life again!
I know you can handle it, and I look forward to hearing about your success!
Experience has made me wise, coaching has shown me how to share that wisdom.
If you are ready to turn your life around and teach others how to as well, please learn more about the Live Inspired Now Coach Training which is open again for enrollment! Live Inspired Now Coach Training Course
You can use your experience, combined with the skills you learn to give your children an advantage when they go out into the world, you can share what you learn with students, friends, family members, or your community!
Join us and be a gift to the world!
Love and inspiration,
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!