HEATHER PARIS

When babies are small they cry and whine to get what they want. As they grow older and begin to speak, we teach them to “use their words” to get what they want. Crying, whining, or hitting and kicking are obviously discouraged and they are reminded to use their words. This “use their words” milestone usually occurs between the ages of 1-5 depending upon the child’s progression.

After they have learned to “use their words,” most kids never receive further instruction. They are rarely encouraged, after that first milestone, to develop further by being taught to “use appropriate words.” They are never told to use “kind words, feeling words” or other types of deeper, more meaningful communication.

It never ceases to amaze me how many adult couples tell me that they called one another mean and hurtful names in the middle of a fight because they never learned to effectively communicate. How many relationships would have been saved had they learned to say “I am very angry right now and I need to talk about how I am feeling” as opposed to saying “You’re a jerk, I hate you, and you never listen to me!”

Learn to use your words effectively and let your actions back them up! Then, teach your children to speak effectively too. After they have learned to use their works, teach them to use BETTER words! Teach them to speak kindly to others. Teach them to use feeling words such as; “I feel angry, I feel confused, I feel sad.” Then take it a step further to teach them to use words that express their desires such as; “I would like to talk to you, I think I need to take a walk, I would love to share with you.”

One of the best gifts you could ever give your child is to teach them to communicate well. It will help them in school, at work, in their relationships, and it will give them confidence because they will be able to self advocate! We all need to be able to express our feelings, thoughts, needs, desires, wishes, hopes, emotions, and our dreams! “Using your words” is just not enough if you are over the age of 5. Learn to use BETTER words, improve your life and Live Inspired Now!