Are you old enough to remember parachute pants? They were popular in the 80’s, they were made of some kind of plasticy fabric, and they had zippers all over!
Only the coolest kids wore them so of course I wanted a pair… in black, and skin tight! Only I wasn’t allowed to wear skin tight anything!
My mom, being so loving and kind, decided to buy me a pair… no doubt to make me happy. BUT……she didn’t buy them at the cool store, no.
She bought them at the higher end store and made sure they were NOT tight. In fact, they were baggie which was so not cool in the mid 80’s!
I was excited to wear them anyway… and I proudly climbed onto the school bus to head to 8th grade with my best friend of the week, Angel, and that’s when it happened. All the boys on the back of the bus started laughing hysterically and called me “sandwich baggie pants!”
Great. I finally get my black parachute pants and now everyone’s calling me “sandwich baggie pants.”
I never wore those pants again which was too bad because they were expensive, good quality, and I would have grown into them.
Fast forward about a million years….. how does this apply to husbands?
I see many single people looking for the perfect fit in a mate but they often over look quality for what’s trendy, or because of what other people say. Or because they are focusing on something shallow rather than seeing all the really good things!
Just like the pants…. they might not be the exact fit, but if they are quality and YOU can grow into them, then they might be the better choice!
It took me 3 divorces and years of turmoil to learn these valuable lessons:
- Don’t compromise quality because other people don’t understand worth.
- Marry someone with like values, not necessarily a like mind.
- Don’t date or marry someone you’ve already grown past and hope they will catch up.
Listen, relationships aren’t hard. Love it, change your attitude about it, or leave it. There are no other options!
Repair your relationship, or learn to find the RIGHT one now with our DIY Relationship Repair video series!!!
And stay tuned…….
I LOVE coaching! I get to help people, I can work from anywhere, and I always feel like I am living my purpose!! The Live Inspired Now Coach Training opens for enrollment in July!!!
With love, gratitude, and inspiration,
Heather Paris
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
Score each relationship category on a 1-10 scale, based on the following questions:
(1 = the worst. 10= the best.)
Security: ____
How stable does your relationship feel right now?
Emotional Freedom: ____
Does your partner accept you unconditionally?
Recognition: ____
Does your partner make you feel important, needed, desired, or
respected?
Spirit: ____
Are you growing together versus apart?
Adventure: ____
Do you have fun and play together or surprise one another?
Love: ____
Do you feel connected emotionally, mentally, socially, and sexually?
TOTAL SCORE: ____
0-30: Fix it or lose it!
Time for repairs. It can be done, even if your partner won’t participate! You can’t change him or her, but you absolutely can inspire and influence with some strategies!! Get DIY Relationship Repair now, don’t wait another moment!
31-42: Not bad, but not awesome!
If someone told you their relationship was “not bad” how long would you expect it to last? “Not bad” relationships are easily swayed to awesome, or horrendous by one small thing! You can easily learn how to make sure it becomes awesome! Get DIY Relationship Repair now!
43-60: Level up!
Looks like you are enjoying a nice relationship with someone special! Keep it up by continuing to grow together! Take it to the next level by learning how to create even more magic moments together! Get DIY Relationship Repair now!
Your score doesn’t determine your relationship success, your willingness to learn and grow does!
Get your DIY Relationship Repair course and see RESULTS today!!
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
You are not at your job because they love you, you are only there because you do a job. You are replaceable.
You are not in your family because they need you to do a job, you are only there because they love you. You are irreplaceable.
DO NOT CONFUSE THESE.
Read it again, and let it hit you. Most people do not truly understand this. So please, let this message hit you! YOU are important and cannot be replaced in your family.
Please share this with someone who needs it, and comment to let me know how this feels to you!
If you’ve ever dreamed of helping people turn their lives around, create happiness, or fix their broken relationship or family…. then please consider joining the Live Inspired Now Coach Training!
Experience has made me wise, coaching has shown me how to share that wisdom.
Your friends already come to your for advice…. add these practical coaching strategies to your toolbox and blow your friends mind with your awesomeness! Become a life coach…. get paid for what you already do, and make a huge impact on your world!
Live Inspired Now Coach Training Course
You can use your experience, combined with the skills you learn to help your children, students, friends, family members, or your community!
Join us today and share your gift with the world!
Love and inspiration,
Heather Paris
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
Years ago, when I was in an unhealthy relationship, I was desperate to find a way to fix it, until I could no longer stand it, then I was desperate to find a way out.
I was so consumed with trying to find a way out and I was so focused on how unhappy I was, that I could never really see any options.
Have you ever felt that lost? I remember sitting in my car with my BFF and just balling my eyes and telling her I just wanted things to be different. I wanted to love, or even would have settled for “liking” my spouse again, but I just didn’t. I felt so trapped, like I was doomed to stay in a state of limbo.
One day, while driving in my car, it all became clear to me. It was like the sun shone directly on me and opened up my soul or something!
And in that moment, for a brief time, I wasn’t consumed with misery and despair, so clarity finally had room to flood in.
It was me… I had been preventing my own growth because I had only been focusing on the problem… and not taking any responsibility for my relationship.
Blaming others, feeling bad, and focusing on my own misery, were the very things holding me back from making a change and fixing my own life! All my excuses seemed to fade away and I realized that I had 3 options to choose from:
- Stay and be miserable.
- Stay and be happy.
- Leave.
Stay and be miserable was what I had been doing and it wasn’t working, so that option was a big fat NO!
Stay and be happy didn’t work either. I’d love to say I was strong enough to “just love” someone who was acting unlovable, but I wasn’t. No matter how much I tried, prayed, meditated, etc… in my heart, I knew that I couldn’t stay. It wasn’t good for me, or for him, and it certainly wasn’t good for the kids.
Leaving was the kindest option and so I left. I felt free. I felt alive again. I felt like I liked myself again. I could breathe. I could remember what made me happy. I could be a better example. I could heal.
I had resisted leaving for a long time because I didn’t know how things would work logistically.
- How would I make it as a single mom?
- How would I pay my bills?
- How would I take care of a big house alone?
The truth was, all these things worked themselves out. It took time, and it was terrifying. But it all worked out. I handled everything that came my way!
Things always work out for the greater good when we focus on truth instead of fear.
I have no regrets. I’ve made tons of mistakes in the past, but I am deeply grateful for every single one of them because it brought me to this moment to share what I have learned.
I am now living and loving every little bit of my life and if someone had told me that back then, I would’ve never believed it!
Stop blaming, making excuses, and focusing on the negative. Take a good hard look at your decisions, actions, behaviors, thoughts, words, and choices and see how YOU are the solution to your problems!
You are not the problem, you are the SOLUTION to the problem!
I hope you will look forward in faith and make the decision to challenge yourself to make the changes you need to love your life again!
I know you can handle it, and I look forward to hearing about your success!
Experience has made me wise, coaching has shown me how to share that wisdom.
If you are ready to turn your life around and teach others how to as well, please learn more about the Live Inspired Now Coach Training which is open again for enrollment! Live Inspired Now Coach Training Course
You can use your experience, combined with the skills you learn to give your children an advantage when they go out into the world, you can share what you learn with students, friends, family members, or your community!
Join us and be a gift to the world!
Love and inspiration,
Heather Paris
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
Contempt is the #1 indicator of divorce according to the research of Dr. John Gottman. But what exactly is contempt?
Contempt is the feeling that a person is worthless and it will destroy any relationship!
You might think that people in great relationships never fight, but the truth is, they just fight in a way that doesn’t destroy one another.
Good arguing means to keep the argument about the disagreement rather than going on a personal attack aimed at your spouse.
Attacking another person will never drive your point home, it will only drive it through their heart and slowly kill your relationship!
Contempt shows up as sarcastic comments, extreme bitterness, rejection of the other person, snarky voice tones and feeling resentful. When contempt is present you can feel the room drop to an ice cold, frigid temperature. It’s almost impossible to tolerate and you feel less than zero if it’s directed at you.
If you notice that you are feeling contempt toward your partner, here are a few things to try instead:
- Focus on gratitude- some people are way happier with way less
- Be appreciative and thankful- especially for the little things
- Be a gold miner- recognize the good rather than pointing out the bad
- Brag about your spouse to friends- it might change your own attitude
- Lose the tude- drop the eye rolls, sneering glances, and sarcastic tones
- Try to be playful- when’s the last time you decided to just have some fun
If you notice that you are on the receiving end of contempt, here are a few defenses:
- Explain how you are feelings- “I feel afraid right now.”
- Allow your emotions to show- it’s OK to cry if you feel sad
- Acknowledge your spouses feelings- “I see that you are angry right now, may we work on this together?”
- Express appreciation- “I appreciate how passionate you are about this, let’s find a solution.”
- Take a break- it’s OK to get away from the situation if you feel out of control
- State change- change your partners state of mind by distracting them, or doing something unexpected and pleasant
These are just a few of the things you could do to try and remedy contempt in a relationship but if you are struggling, please reach out! The longer contempt is allowed to flow, the harder it becomes to save the relationship.
And if you know someone that is struggling, please share this with them! You never know who you are inspiring, you might just save a relationship!
Love,
Heather
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!