You are not at your job because they love you, you are only there because you do a job. You are replaceable.
You are not in your family because they need you to do a job, you are only there because they love you. You are irreplaceable.
DO NOT CONFUSE THESE.
Read it again, and let it hit you. Most people do not truly understand this. So please, let this message hit you! YOU are important and cannot be replaced in your family.
Please share this with someone who needs it, and comment to let me know how this feels to you!
If you’ve ever dreamed of helping people turn their lives around, create happiness, or fix their broken relationship or family…. then please consider joining the Live Inspired Now Coach Training!
Experience has made me wise, coaching has shown me how to share that wisdom.
Your friends already come to your for advice…. add these practical coaching strategies to your toolbox and blow your friends mind with your awesomeness! Become a life coach…. get paid for what you already do, and make a huge impact on your world!
Live Inspired Now Coach Training Course
You can use your experience, combined with the skills you learn to help your children, students, friends, family members, or your community!
Join us today and share your gift with the world!
Love and inspiration,
Heather Paris
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
Recently a client asked me “How can I instill a sense of pride in my kid?”
My answer: “Stop telling them you are proud of them every time they do something!”
No really. Just stop. Here’s why.
When we over praise, we teach kids that they should be doing things for us, for the validation, and not for their own self satisfaction.
It also teaches them that their worth is equated to what they do, produce, or achieve.
Trade your praise for love and affection and ask your child how they feel about their own performance instead.
The picture shown here is the inside of a card that I sent to our daughter Madison. She is 22 and just got a great job! I am proud of her…. but not because she got a great job.
I am proud of her because she’s my daughter and I love her.
It may sound like such a small distinction but when your child fails at something, and they will, they will believe they have let you down, and that they are not worthy of your affection or love if you only praise achievements.
I see it every single day and it breaks my heart.
So instead of praising your kiddo all of the time, try this instead.
Ask them: “How do you feel you did?” Then respond to their feelings.
There is definitely a time and place for praising your kiddos! I like to praise them when they do acts of kindness that you wouldn’t normally expect. Like seeing a woman in the grocery store dropping items and running over to help, or offering their own money to someone in need and so on.
Even then, be sure to ask them how those acts made them feel! Allow them to grow a sense of pride in themselves by advocating for their success without over praising. Then, instead of praising, try saying something like “That was beautiful to see, thank you!”
Let me know your thoughts or please do share your story at the bottom of the page!
Experience has made me wise, coaching has shown me how to share that wisdom.
If you are ready to join the mission to raise emotional intelligence and teach others how to as well, please learn more about the Live Inspired Now Coach Training and get your FREE 6 Day Mini Coaching Course:
Live Inspired Now Coach Training Course
You can use your experience, combined with the skills you learn to help your children, students, friends, family members, or your community!
Join us today and share your gift with the world!
Love and inspiration,
Heather Paris
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
Do you know a “spoiled rotten kid?” C’mon, we all do… or have at least witnessed one, mid temper tantrum, in the store, crying over the newest candy bar, toy, or cell phone!
Seriously, I think that may be the #1 topic people ask me about…. entitled kids!
I could write for days on the topic but I will try to reel it in with a few simple tips.
Tips to prevent raising entitled kids:
#1 Keep the praise to a minimum to raise a quality kid!
Yes, I did just say that! Stop complimenting everything breath they take. When you over praise, you set your kiddo up to seek external validation rather than learning self pride or appreciation.
Instead of praising, ask your kiddo some questions! Next time lil Johnny brings you his school project, instead of endlessly gushing, ask him how HE feels he did. Ask him what his favorite part of the project was. Or you could ask him what part he is most proud of, or what part he struggled with and how did he overcome the struggle.
#2 Reward with attention, not stuff!
If your kid deserves some praise or a reward, then offer them some quality time! And I’m not talking about the time it takes to go to the store to buy them stuff.
I mean go to the park and play hide and seek to celebrate together. Or go build a fort together. Or play a game, go for a walk, bake a cake, people watch, play mini golf, or even just sit and enjoy an ice cream cone together while talking!
I promise you… they will NEVER remember the toy you bought them when they were 6 but they WILL remember the quality time you spent with them, and how loved they felt.
#3 Say NO once in a while!
Just because you can afford something, doesn’t mean you should buy it. Telling you kiddo NO is a good thing because it teaches them patience and appreciation.
Just because Apple came out with the brand new version of the iPhone, doesn’t mean your kiddo should have it, even if it’s not a financial burden to get it. Remember that old anti-drug slogan from the 80’s? Just say NO!
#4 If you want them to act responsibly, you have to give them responsibility!
Thad and I are always amazed by the amount of responsibility some kids have in 3rd world countries. Kids at 7 years old are out hustling for money… shining shoes, carrying bags… whatever it takes.
It’s terribly sad that some kids are forced too young to hustle for food and resources, but it’s even more sad that some kids sit around and do nothing while being showered with praise and presents.
Give your kiddos some responsibility! All ages, even toddlers can participate in cleaning or picking up, loading things into the dishwasher, and helping out around the house.
If you start them young, they learn to contribute to their family because that’s what family members do. Not because they are getting a reward! Throw out the star sticker chart and start handing out hugs and thank-you’s!
#5 Allowance: Yes or No?
People ask me this a lot too. I don’t believe in giving an allowance, and I’ve never given allowance to my kids. I do however think it’s important to teach them to earn. I have paid my kids to do some things above and beyond their normal responsibilities. BUT… I do not nag, or bribe, I give them an opportunity to learn and earn.
Simply put, I let them know that I have a job available, how much it pays, and if one of them is interested, they can see me about it. I let them know the requirements, and if they do the job, I pay them. Simple.
Some examples have been:
- Cleaning out the car
- Foot rubs
- Packing up books to send out to customers
- Shampooing the dog
- Organizing my bookshelf
- Sweeping the patio
- (My mom used to pay me to pull her grey hairs out. lol. I hope she doesn’t kill me for sharing that!)
- etc….
I also think it’s important to teach them about money… how much to save for short and long term, and what to spend. (But that’s a whole different topic for another day!)
The point…. stop showering your kids with undue praise and rewards.
Instead, give them wings to fly so when the time comes, they leave the nest to do good in the world and eventually return for visits with adorable grand babies! 😉
If you know a parent who is struggling, please forward this to them and offer a kind word. Everyone needs a little inspiration now and then!
Experience has made me wise, coaching has shown me how to share that wisdom.
If you are ready to join the mission to increase emotional intelligence and teach others how to as well, please learn more about the Live Inspired Now Coach Training which is open again for enrollment! Live Inspired Now Coach Training Course
You can use your experience, combined with the skills you learn to give your children an advantage when they go out into the world, you can share what you learn with students, friends, family members, or your community!
Join us and be a gift to the world!
Love and inspiration,
Heather Paris
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
Have you heard of “Love Mapping?”
It’s a technique to learn more about your partner and can be done whether you’ve been together for 6 months or 20 years!
The idea is to answer the following questions about your partner, then share the answers. If you know the answers- great! If you don’t know the answers- even better because you learn something new and you get the opportunity to have a nice discussion!
Here are just 10 questions to go over with your spouse:
- Who is your partners greatest source of support besides you?
- What is your partners favorite sport?
- Who was your partners best friend in grade school?
- Name your partners major rival or enemy.
- Does your partner have a secret ambition, if so, what is it?
- What was your partners most embarrassing moment?
- Who is your partners least favorite relative?
- What was your partner most currently sad about?
- What medical concern does your partner worry about?
- Name 2 people that your partner admires.
Ahhh.. just when you thought you new everything about your partner! 🙂
You can always learn, grow, and fall more deeply in love if you will just invest time into your relationship!
Share a few magic moments today with your partner and see how you both do with these questions and please share your results or thoughts by leaving a comment below!
As always, if you need help with your family, relationship or kids, please reach out today!
Have FUN and Happy November!!!
Love and Inspiration,
Heather
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
I was walking down my driveway today and made a point to look for the balance in nature. It wasn’t really there. I saw lopsided trees, oddly shaped rocks, and even the grass is growing patchy in some areas and well in others.
Where the hell is all the “balance?”
Then I thought about my lemon tree. Yes, I am growing a beautiful lemon tree in the house. In order for the tree to grow better, I had to prune it. I cut all the big lush branches off all the way up to the top 1/4 of the tree.
This is so the tree could put more attention to growing a big strong trunk to support all the lemons. It doesn’t look balanced at all, and it’s growing amazingly well!
Lately it seems like everyone is looking for that “work / home life” balance but I’ve discovered something…
Balance is BS!
In today’s video, I am going to share what you can do instead of trying to find balance and it will make your life feel so much better!
Once you’ve had a chance to watch, I’d love to hear what you think! Balance… BS or not? Leave a comment below!
Love and Inspiration,
Heather
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!