Have you heard of “Love Mapping?”
It’s a technique to learn more about your partner and can be done whether you’ve been together for 6 months or 20 years!
The idea is to answer the following questions about your partner, then share the answers. If you know the answers- great! If you don’t know the answers- even better because you learn something new and you get the opportunity to have a nice discussion!
Here are just 10 questions to go over with your spouse:
- Who is your partners greatest source of support besides you?
- What is your partners favorite sport?
- Who was your partners best friend in grade school?
- Name your partners major rival or enemy.
- Does your partner have a secret ambition, if so, what is it?
- What was your partners most embarrassing moment?
- Who is your partners least favorite relative?
- What was your partner most currently sad about?
- What medical concern does your partner worry about?
- Name 2 people that your partner admires.
Ahhh.. just when you thought you new everything about your partner! 🙂
You can always learn, grow, and fall more deeply in love if you will just invest time into your relationship!
Share a few magic moments today with your partner and see how you both do with these questions and please share your results or thoughts by leaving a comment below!
As always, if you need help with your family, relationship or kids, please reach out today!
Have FUN and Happy November!!!
Love and Inspiration,
Heather
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
I was walking down my driveway today and made a point to look for the balance in nature. It wasn’t really there. I saw lopsided trees, oddly shaped rocks, and even the grass is growing patchy in some areas and well in others.
Where the hell is all the “balance?”
Then I thought about my lemon tree. Yes, I am growing a beautiful lemon tree in the house. In order for the tree to grow better, I had to prune it. I cut all the big lush branches off all the way up to the top 1/4 of the tree.
This is so the tree could put more attention to growing a big strong trunk to support all the lemons. It doesn’t look balanced at all, and it’s growing amazingly well!
Lately it seems like everyone is looking for that “work / home life” balance but I’ve discovered something…
Balance is BS!
In today’s video, I am going to share what you can do instead of trying to find balance and it will make your life feel so much better!
Once you’ve had a chance to watch, I’d love to hear what you think! Balance… BS or not? Leave a comment below!
Love and Inspiration,
Heather
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
Contempt is the #1 indicator of divorce according to the research of Dr. John Gottman. But what exactly is contempt?
Contempt is the feeling that a person is worthless and it will destroy any relationship!
You might think that people in great relationships never fight, but the truth is, they just fight in a way that doesn’t destroy one another.
Good arguing means to keep the argument about the disagreement rather than going on a personal attack aimed at your spouse.
Attacking another person will never drive your point home, it will only drive it through their heart and slowly kill your relationship!
Contempt shows up as sarcastic comments, extreme bitterness, rejection of the other person, snarky voice tones and feeling resentful. When contempt is present you can feel the room drop to an ice cold, frigid temperature. It’s almost impossible to tolerate and you feel less than zero if it’s directed at you.
If you notice that you are feeling contempt toward your partner, here are a few things to try instead:
- Focus on gratitude- some people are way happier with way less
- Be appreciative and thankful- especially for the little things
- Be a gold miner- recognize the good rather than pointing out the bad
- Brag about your spouse to friends- it might change your own attitude
- Lose the tude- drop the eye rolls, sneering glances, and sarcastic tones
- Try to be playful- when’s the last time you decided to just have some fun
If you notice that you are on the receiving end of contempt, here are a few defenses:
- Explain how you are feelings- “I feel afraid right now.”
- Allow your emotions to show- it’s OK to cry if you feel sad
- Acknowledge your spouses feelings- “I see that you are angry right now, may we work on this together?”
- Express appreciation- “I appreciate how passionate you are about this, let’s find a solution.”
- Take a break- it’s OK to get away from the situation if you feel out of control
- State change- change your partners state of mind by distracting them, or doing something unexpected and pleasant
These are just a few of the things you could do to try and remedy contempt in a relationship but if you are struggling, please reach out! The longer contempt is allowed to flow, the harder it becomes to save the relationship.
And if you know someone that is struggling, please share this with them! You never know who you are inspiring, you might just save a relationship!
Love,
Heather
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
Seriously!? What the hell else could go wrong this week??? I’m afraid to find out!!!
This week Thad and I had a flat tire on a remote rural road while almost running out of gas.
That night, we got a call at midnight from our son Harry saying his basement was flooded and smelled like something was burning. (The sump pump burned out, and Thad went and fixed it so no worries now!)
The next day, a cabinet fell off the wall in my kitchen! (Did the previous owner seriously have a purple kitchen?)
Then the next day brought a broken pipe from our upstairs bathroom which led to a ceiling collapse in Thad’s office underneath!
REALLY?!?
Life happens, and when it happens to suck… LEAN IN!!
Many relationships fail because people give in to their feelings and forget that a partner is just that… a partner, not a punching bag for hurt feelings!
Lean in when times are tough and find respite in your partner. And BE a place of respite for your partner too!
Don’t let the chaos of life be enough to pull you apart. Here are a few tips to remember when life gets suckish:
- Create a plan! You can handle things easier if you have some steps to follow.
- Don’t take your anger or frustrations out on your partner.
- Focus on the things that are going well!
- Support, encourage, and love your partner even more than usual.
- Ease up on some of your regular responsibilities to give yourself time for the new challenge.
- If you can’t fix it right now, at least make it neat and tidy! (Neat and tidy just feels better.)
- Get perspective by helping out someone who is going through much worse.
- Your feelings are valid. Explain them and vent before moving on.
- Reach out to the friends and family members that can be compassionate and supportive.
- Celebrate the chaos. That’s right…. have an open house or a small party to celebrate the challenge. It might not make sense to people but won’t it feel better than complaining about it?
Life is not happening TO you. It’s not even happening FOR you. Life is just happening and the best part is that WE get to decide how we respond to it!Â
I hope you will choose to lean in with your partner, be grateful for the blessings, and take each challenges one things at a time!
So far, you have a 100% success rate of surviving every single challenge that has ever come your way! You rock!
Please share and leave a comment at:
Love,
Heather
REGISTER NOW… IT’S FREE!!
September 22nd, 5:30 – 7:30pm at NaturTyme
3 Exceptional Talks at the Family Wellness Event that will change your life:
- Raise your kids GPA! by Special Education Teacher Katie Dennis
- Get your teenagers engaged in a positive passion! by 15 yr old life coach Carrie Deaville
- Fix your damaged or dying relationship! presented by Me!
Register, share, and get more info here! Bring a friend too!Â
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!