As long as you continue to look for people to “make you happy” you will continue to be unhappy. Relationships that exist to serve your needs will fail. If you are looking for the person to take care of you, to complete you, to make you happy, to motivate you, to love you, to provide for you, to raise your kids, or to make you happy, you will not find them. YOU have to be a whole person in order to have a healthy, happy relationship.
Love is about giving, not receiving. Everyone thinks you fall in love… not true; you decide to love. You make the choice to love another person. Love is an action, it is something you decide to do and sometimes that means making hard decisions that don’t seem to work in your favor. Love isn’t staying and tolerating abuse. Love isn’t pushing people away or checking out of the relationship. Love isn’t just about staying together. In fact, sometimes love means going your separate ways. Love is putting the needs of the person you love first…. even if it means leaving. Love isn’t about having control over another person. Love wants the other person to be free and freely love back. Love is unselfish.
Love is unconditional; tolerance is not. Even with children…. you can love them but you never have to allow abuse of any kind. You are accountable for what you continue to put up with. There are no awards in life for the person who puts up with the most amount of bullshit. It is OK to put distance between yourself and a person who is abusive…. even if it’s your child. You teach people how to treat you by what you put up with. Never accept abuse for yourself and never abuse another person.
Love is a wonderful thing, but make sure you know what it really is. It is not about control, it is not about monitoring one another, it is not about pointing out each others flaws, it is not name calling, it is not manipulative, it is not painful, it is not a trap, it is not something to be used against one another. Love is simple, beautiful, selfless, compassionate, and kind. Love is giving without expectations in return. Love is not about doing whats easy, it’s about doing whats right for one another.
Are you really “loving” your partner? Are you putting their needs first? Are you making an attempt to understand and be compassionate? Are you looking at the role you have played in the challenges you face? Are you quick to point out the others faults without considering your own? Are you ready and willing to truly LOVE without conditions? Think about love today and make any changes you think might help your relationship and Live Inspired Now!
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
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