Kids are born with everything they need to grow into confident, self-assured, well-rounded adults…. yet self-esteem is gravely lacking in our culture. Why? Because we teach kids to ignore everything they are naturally born with.
We teach them to seek approval rather than to self advocate. We teach them that their needs are less important than others. We teach them to compromise their own feelings. And worst of all, we teach them to self loathe by the examples we set.
We should not be teaching kids to get validation for their self-worth from a gold star sticker. They are good and worthy just because they exist, yet we teach them that their only worth is when the parents or teachers are pleased with them.
Then, we teach them to “share” their toys, and “be fair,” which is completely contrary to real life. Yes, we want to teach kids generosity and compassion, but not at the expense of their own feelings or happiness. You don’t share your house, car, or shiny new tractor with people, so don’t expect your child to share their favorite toy either. If it’s special, they may not want to share it. Teach them instead to share their time with others because THEY are what’s special… not the toy.
Things are not always “fair” in life, they aren’t supposed to be. Teaching kids to be “fair” is actually only training them to be “entitled!” Entitled kids grow up to think they deserve things, and that they shouldn’t have to work for what they have. They end up living in your basement when they are 30 with nothing but a million excuses as to why “life isn’t fair” and is holding them back!
And finally, we teach kids to self loathe because that is what we mirror for them. Kids are completely in love with themselves when they are small. They love to see themselves in mirrors, they make silly faces at themselves, they smile, laugh, and dance without a care in the world. They don’t care who is watching, nor do they care what anyone thinks. Until they see Mom or Dad become embarrassed, or Mom and Dad tells them to “stop because everyone is watching.” Or the child stands and watches Mom poke her own fat in the mirror and talk about how disgusting she is. Or the child hears Dad say “Keep your voice down, I don’t want anyone to think we are losers.” There are millions of examples of how we teach our kids to dim their own light. The best thing we can do to counteract this is to model better behavior. Kids will hate or love themselves, just as much as we do! Do them a favor and love yourself, respect yourself, hold yourself in much higher esteem!
Our society, in general doesn’t promote self-esteem. Isn’t it time for a change? Especially since we are already born with esteem and we go out of our way to wreck it! Let’s stop doing that! Let’s start to raise the standard of confidence, worth, respect, altruism, and self-esteem in our society! Let’s start by not removing these inherent traits in our young people. Let’s model good behavior, raise the standard, and Live Inspired Now!
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Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
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