Last week I inadvertently over-booked myself. Besides my regular work load of blog posting, course teaching, content creation, clients, and the 5 teenagers in the house, I also had 2 birthday parties, 1 anniversary, 1 marketing meeting, 1 scheduled talk with book signing, and 1 teleconference. All to be followed up by 3 days of a surprise vacation getaway for Thad and my 3rd wedding anniversary. It was a challenging week for sure, and I would LOVE to say that I handled it all with perfect grace, but alas, my human side kicked in and I allowed myself to feel overwhelmed for a few tense moments. Thank goodness I was able to put it all into perspective, detach from outcomes, and decided to just give it my best! And happily it all worked out. The best part, I took away some knowledge in surviving chaos!
The 5 lessons I learned from over-booking myself:
1 A life lived frantically is no fun:
I truly do not know how people maintain a frantic pace for long periods of time. Running here and there, always trying to reach that next goal or milestone, and feeling like life is a marathon. Living frantically like that makes you miss the little things, the finer moments, and the people we care about. Living frantically means doing more but living less. Our life is about our relationships, but how could we possibly enjoy them if we don’t stop and make time to cultivate them? Step away from the next project for a while and spend some time with the people you love.
2 Just because you scheduled it, doesn’t mean you have to do it:
Being someone who is hell bent on always being “loyal and reliable,” I am not the type of person to back out of a commitment. However…. there are times when have to just apologize and excuse yourself from something you said you would do. It’s OK, people will forgive you! Most importantly, forgive yourself! We have all bitten off more than we could chew at some point. Admit that you are overwhelmed, or need help, and move on.
3 If you have to “schedule” sleep, you are doing too much:
Sleep, relaxation, eating, and personal wellness should never need to be on the schedule in order to be prioritized. These are things that should be done daily, without having to work them in to your schedule. Create a routine around them if you have to, but don’t skip them because you didn’t schedule them. You are absolutely nothing without your own wellness, take care of you, so you can take care of all the other “stuff!”
4 When you absolutely cannot slow down….. SLOW DOWN!
If you can’t, then you must. I didn’t say you have to stop, just slow down. If you are driving your car faster, and faster, and faster…. you will eventually either get stopped and ticketed, or you will run out of gas, or even worse, cause an accident. Your best work is not done while barreling through life at 100 miles per hour. Slow down, take a breath, enjoy the view, then move on.
5 Give yourself something to look forward to:
This past week was hard, but I am really grateful for the anniversary getaway at the end of it all. If you don’t give yourself something to look forward to, then it hardly seems worth it all. How many times have you set a new goal after reaching the last one without any celebration between the two? Give yourself something to look forward to by HONORING yourself and your accomplishment!
I hope you are avoiding chaos, but when you absolutely have to participate in it, at least be sure you can survive and come out on the other side to Live Inspired Now!
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
Today is the trifecta of phenomenon with the full moon happening on “Friday the 13th” during a “Mercury retrograde!” Yikes!? Should we head for the hills, or stay inside with doors and windows locked? Will the “crazy’s” be out in droves today? What does it all mean? Please, allow me to tell you what it means!
It means, you either make excuses or make a life! Today, like yesterday, you have the choice to go out and do something amazing with your day! Or you can do nothing, have a terrible day, and blame it all on the full moon, the unlucky day, or on the planet Mercury moving a little slower! Today, like every day, you are still in control of your actions, reactions, and interactions with other people. Act responsibly, react compassionately, and interact kindly. There is no natural phenomenon that gives people an excuse to be a jerk!
So, if people are acting like jerks, or being a little crazy, just smile and wish them well! Like all days, today is full of love, light, happiness, joy, and limitless opportunities for whatever you wish to experience! Stay focused on the positive, enjoy the day, and Live Inspired Now!
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
So many people, walking around day in and day out, without a clue of who they are, what they like, or what they want. Don’t be a zombie. Discover YOURSELF. Look deeply into your own soul, ask it some questions, listen to the responses, and make changes as needed. I can’t tell you how many times in my life I have continued to do something that was displeasing, only because I was used to doing it. Or how long I stayed in relationships that were devastating only because I didn’t know what else to do. Who want’s to live like that…. I sure didn’t! I changed, you can too!
Wake up now, do NOT ignore INSPIRATION…. it is everywhere! It is a cliché’ post on Facebook, it is a smile from a stranger, it is a joke that wasn’t funny but made you laugh, it is a realization, it is a cold day that reminds you to be grateful for your warmth, it is really noticing the sun setting, it is silence that makes you finally hear what others are saying…. inspiration is in every moment if you allow yourself to discover it. What messages are you seeing over and over again, and why are you ignoring them?
I love this quote: “One may understand the cosmos, but never the ego; the self is more distant than any star.” ~G.K. Chesterton To me, it speaks volumes! People understand everything but themselves. Invest some time in self-discovery and self-awareness so you can truly enjoy life, and live with ease. Chaos, unhappiness, unrest, stress, and misery SUCK! Choose inspiration, practice self discovery, and Live INSPIRED Now!
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
Lately I have read a lot of posts in which people are complaining about their “ass of an ex,” partner who is “not stepping up as a parent” or “cancelling out on visitation” or “who is still drinking.” BLAH BLAH BLAH!!! I just want to take a moment to mention that while your “EX” may very well be an “ass,” that makes you an “ass picker!”
Isn’t it time we step up and take some personal responsibility for picking the “ass?” I certainly made the wrong choices in my past, and I used to blame my “EX”, too. However, in time, I came to learn that taking personal responsibility for the people I let into my life is far more empowering than assuming the role of a victim. Once I accepted that I MADE BAD CHOICES, then and only then, did I have enough awareness to start making better choices for myself. Sure, I could blame my ex-husband for being an alcoholic, or I could take responsibility for the fact that I thought I could “fix” him, and married him with that intention. I beat myself up for years for making dumb decisions, but that didn’t do me any favors either! It wasn’t until I put on my big girl pants, did some personal development through learning, reading, and letting go that I realized I CREATE MY WORLD. I could either continue to blame everyone else for my problems, or I could step up, set a new standard for my life, make better decisions, and move forward! That is what I did, and you can too!
Stop calling your “EX” out on Facebook. So what if he is an “ass”. Guess what? Calling him an “ass” hasn’t helped the situation yet! When is the last time you called someone a mean or hurtful name and they all of a sudden jumped up and said “You are right! I am an ass! Based on your criticism and public humiliation, I think I will step up and become a better person!” Let’s face it, that is not how it works. I get it, we all need to bitch and complain sometimes to get our feelings out. Call a friend and discharge all that negativity, but stop calling your “EX” mean names in public. It hurts a child to see his parents publicly ridicule one another, and it makes you look bitter and petty.
Just because you picked the wrong person in the past, doesn’t mean you are doomed to repeat the process. Not all women/men are bad. Not all relationships have to be ugly. But if you have a history that seems to make this true, it’s time to step up, read some books, take some courses, hire a coach, and do some personal growth! You deserve to be happy, fulfilled, and in a healthy, happy relationship in which you feel like the most important person in the world to someone. But first, you have to start focusing on the positive and create a healthier, happier new environment for you and your kids! Model happiness, compassion, and kindness. Let go of the ass from the past and start picking better people to have in your life, and Live Inspired Now!
PS: If you need some help dealing with new family dynamics, please check out: You’re Not My Real Mom!
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
Trust is a beautiful thing. It provides a refuge of safety and security to any relationship. It makes a person feel important, loved, cherished, and protected. But once that trust is gone, a person is left feeling scared, vulnerable, heart broken, and they start building walls to keep people out. As the walls grow higher with each betrayal, one can become completely closed off from the people they once loved so much. Trust is difficult to regain. It can be done, but not without a full commitment to the following 4 principles.
The 4 Principles to Re-Building Trust:
1 HONESTY:
Time to get brutally honest folks, Trust will never rebuild itself on the uncertainty of lies or manipulation. It can only be built upon the solid rocks of honesty and whole truth. Not half truths, and “she will never find out about that part,” but the kind of truth that scares the crap out of you. The truth that makes you cry, and makes your heart feel like it’s going to jump right out of your chest; the “omg, I hope nobody ever finds out about this” kind of truth. Be completely honest when your spouse asks you a question too. Don’t try to figure out their motive, or test to see if they already know the answer, just give a fully honest response. You must make a 100% commitment to honesty for trust to follow.
2 RESPONSIBILITY:
You’re not really being honest if you are blaming everyone else for your bad choices. Yes, it might be true that other people played a role, but the only way to rebuild trust is to be fully culpable for your part in the betrayal. You need to accept all consequences like a grown up, without complaint or contempt, and serve your time. Trying to turn things around and place blame on others only proves that you are not really sorry for what you have done. Rather, you are looking for excuses for your behavior to lessen your consequence or to ease your guilty conscience. Never blame the victim of your betrayal for their part, they will never learn to trust you while you are trying to make them feel bad.
3 COMMUNICATION:
There is no such thing as over communicating when you are trying to build trust. The person who was betrayed may want to talk all the time or not at all, be available for them. If your spouse wants to talk about their feelings, then listen. Allow them to have a safe environment to explain what they are going through without trying to fix, correct, change, or reacting aggressively to what they think or feel. Feelings are valid even if they seem irrational. It is not up to you to defend your actions, it is up to you to just be a good listener, and to show that you really care about how they feel. If your spouse does not want to talk, then let them know that you are available, and willing to listen without judgement. Be patient, everyone is different and your spouse may need time before they can articulate how they feel. Don’t try and rush them to it because you are afraid of the silence or afraid to lose them.
4 LEARNING:
Take whatever steps you need to learn how to make better choices in the future. Perhaps you need to see a coach or counselor and get through some deep seeded emotional issues from your past. Or maybe you need to a coach to teach you HOW to have a successful and happy relationship. Whatever it is, you need to learn to be more healthy and to avoid future betrayals. You also need to learn to trust yourself. Life is like a mirror, and your inner being is being reflected back at you all the time. If you don’t like what you see, then you need to do some self evaluation and make some positive changes in your life. There is nothing worse than earning your spouses trust back, only to lose it all over again because you didn’t learn to make better choices for yourself or your family.
If you need help re-establishing trust in your relationship, please message me today. It is not easy, but if you are truly committed and ready to learn better behaviors, it can be done. Take the first step to rebuilding a better relationship, earning trust back, and Live Inspired Now!
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!