I once had a client find the courage to admit to that she had been molested.
She’d never told anyone about it yet she carried it with her everywhere she went. She thought about it daily and she lived with this for so many years.
After she talked about it, she was able to start to see it as an experience she lived through rather than something she was living with daily. It changed her entire life.
Now, she finds such peace in silence. She’s able to sit and relax in the quiet moments rather than ruminating on pain from her past.
Silence. It can be a barrier to healing or it can bring much needed peace and relaxation.
How do you know when to be silent and when to speak up?
Here’s my rule of thumb… if you can’t stop thinking about something for more than a day, it’s time to talk about it…. especially if it’s effecting your quality of life!
Reach out today. Coaching is non-judgmental, healing, and will help you speak out so you can enjoy the silence again!
Hit me up on Facebook or at my info below and don’t forget to follow our adventures on YouTube, Instagram (@heatherparis) and Facebook!
With love, gratitude, and inspiration,
Heather Paris
Call or Text: 607-592-6291
www.liveinspirednow.com
Email me: heather@liveinspirednow.com
Follow me on YouTube, Instagram (@heatherparis) and Facebook!
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
Listen, if people don’t like how you talk about them in your story, then they should have behaved better!
I’ve said this statement at least 5 times in the past week so people must need this message!
You are NOT responsible for how your abuser feels, for how they think or behave, or for any consequences they experience as a result of you speaking your truth.
A big part of processing your painful experiences is to focus solely on how YOU feel about them.
Abusers like to use “guilt” to continue to control their victims: “Well if you tell this story, how will I ever get a job? I can’t get better if I can’t support myself. No one will believe you anyway…”
Let me define guilt because this too gets very twisted… guilt is a feeling of worry, or unhappiness that you feel when you’ve caused harm.
The ABUSER is the one who caused HARM yet they feel no guilt in trying to continue to manipulate you.
From this day forward, reserve your guilt for times when you actually cause harm…. like if you accidentally run into a person with your shopping cart and run over their toe.
Otherwise, you my friend, can tell your story without feeling any guilt, shame, or hesitation…. and when you do, you take your power back from the abuser!
***Abuse takes many forms… physical, mental, emotional, financial, sexual, psychological, etc. It’s any behavior or action that threatens, injures, manipulates or controls another person. If you think you might be in an abusive relationship, please seek help immediately.***
Need help? Contact me and let’s set up a free call! I’d love to help you work through any challenges you are facing. Coaching is always confidential, it’s fast and effective, and it works!
************************************************************************
PS: LAST WEEK TO GET TICKETS TO WIN MY PINK CAMARO!!!
How cool would it be to pick up your BFF’s in a hot pink convertible Camaro???
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GUESS WHAT?
YOU have a chance to WIN a Classic Camaro convertible custom painted in hot pink!
Raffle Tickets are $50 each.
Get them quickly because once we sell 200, that’s it!
A portion of the proceeds to benefit the Vaccine Rights Legal Defense Fund!
Grab your ticket right away…. the winner will be drawn at random on July 28th on Facebook Live!
GOOD LUCK & PLEASE SHARE!!
About the Camaro:
• 1996 Pink Chevrolet Camaro Convertible
• HOT PINK!?!? (That’s the most important right!?)
• Manual 5 speed transmission
• 101.000 Miles
• V6
• Located in Port Byron, NY.
*Must sell 200 tickets in order to have drawing*
*Winner is responsible for their own vehicle registration and taxes.
*Delivery available within 60 miles of Port Byron, NY.
Don’t wait, get your ticket now!
Hit reply to this email if you have any questions or contact me at my info below!
Sharing is caring! Please share!
With love, gratitude, and inspiration,
Heather Paris
607-269-7815
www.liveinspirednow.com
Email me: heather@liveinspirednow.com
Follow me on YouTube, Instagram (@heatherparis) and Facebook!
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
Having the ability to understand and share the feelings of another is NOT always a good thing.
When I was married to my first husband Donnie, who was (and still is) an alcoholic and drug abuser, I had a serious case of empathy bias…. showing favor for those who are suffering.
Donnie was actually a really kind person but to cope with a horrible childhood, he turned to drugs and alcohol to alleviate his pain at a very young age.
During our brief marriage, I could feel his pain and it was soul crushing. I wanted to alleviate his suffering, so I did whatever I could to try and make things better….
- I downplayed his drinking
- I denied his drug abuse completely
- I didn’t reach out for help
- I’d constantly clean up the messes he made with his friends and family
- I took responsibility for his bad behavior and mistakes
…. and it only got worse.
Empathy is a beautiful quality until it turns into codependency. Then it hurts both people.
Codependency is when you rely on other people for your own identity so you enable their poor choices, bad behavior and addictions.
I was codependent on Donnie because my identity was reliant upon him getting clean and sober. I lived only to make sure he was OK, and that our marriage appeared successful.
Now, after almost 30 years, 3 kids, education, therapy, and training…. I truly am grateful for my experiences because I get to help so many people in a formal way without losing myself to an unhealthy relationship!
Do you have empathy bias? Is your big heart and desire to help turning into a codependent situation?
Contact me and let’s talk.
You CAN break free from the codependent merry-go-round and find true happiness that isn’t reliant on other people….. and life is exquisite when you can enjoy it fully without bearing the weight of the world.
Contact me and let’s set up a free consultation call.
I look forward to hearing from you!
Sharing is caring! Please share!
With love, gratitude, and inspiration,
Heather Paris
607-269-7815
www.liveinspirednow.com
Email me: heather@liveinspirednow.com
Follow me on YouTube, Instagram (@heatherparis) and Facebook!
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
The words that make me want to cry…. “I suffer from…”
Sally was having a bad day and boldly proclaimed on Facebook that she was “suffering from depression.” She went into all the reasons why her life was terrible, how she had no friends, and how broke she was financially.
Sally became super defensive whenever anyone tried to give her some advice, uplifting words, or encouragement. Sally wanted to suffer and nobody was going to deny her that.
I’m not saying depression isn’t real. I am however saying that suffering is optional and that you should never utter the words, “I suffer from” again!
Don’t take ownership of suffering. At the very least say “I am experiencing _______ right now.”
I live by the phrase “this too shall pass” and even if it’s something that absolutely will not pass, I “live” with it, not “suffer” from it.
You can live with far more than you can suffer from.
Your words have exceptional power over your feelings, don’t “suffer” when you don’t have to! Hardships, heartbreak, and sadness come with living, don’t add suffering to life as well.
What are YOUR thoughts on this? Comment below…
With love, gratitude, and inspiration,
Heather Paris
607-269-7815
www.liveinspirednow.com
Email me: heather@liveinspirednow.com
Follow me on YouTube, Instagram (@heatherparis) and Facebook!
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
“Sally” was in tears after catching her husband having sex with another woman… again.
And not even an hour later he was professing his undying love to her. He made her feel guilty for wanting to leave him. He made her feel hopeful when he promised to make up for his indiscretions. He made her scared when he said he couldn’t live without her.
She called me because she wanted to know what SHE could do to help HIM.
Abusers will exploit your emotions to get their way. They will use every bit of vulnerability you have to use, abuse, and hurt you. Then they will employ you to help them rather than taking any personal responsibility for helping themselves!
Emotions are wonderful but if you are overly emotional, you are exploitable!
In today’s world, it’s so popular and acceptable to say “follow your heart” and I’m warning you that your heart is not equipt to make all of your decisions for you!
Your heart only wants to love so it doesn’t make decisions regarding safety or higher purpose.
A mechanic can fix your car but you wouldn’t ask him to do your laundry too.
If you are highly in tune to your heart and your emotions, it’s time to get in touch with your head and your higher self too!
The next time your in a situation that makes you feel scared, lonely, or guilty, ask yourself these questions:
- Is this a one time incident or a pattern?
- Is this something I wish to experience again?
- Is this something I’d wish for my kids / parent / close friend to experience?
- Do I walk on eggshells?
- Am I safe enough to talk about this?
- Do I make excuses for their behavior?
Emotional exploitation is not OK but there is something you can do about it! Listen to your head and your higher self, not just your heart!
Your head is smart, it runs on logic, assesses risks, and makes rational decisions.
Your higher self is your inner light, your God-ness, your soul. It makes decisions for the greater good and for the betterment of self, family, and humanity.
You have all that you need to be happy, healthy, and peaceful but if you need help, reach out!
If you are unsure if you are in a toxic relationship, please reach out. I am more than happy to set up a free call to help!
With love, gratitude, and inspiration,
Heather Paris
607-269-7815
www.liveinspirednow.com
Email me: heather@liveinspirednow.com
Follow me on YouTube, Instagram (@heatherparis) and Facebook!
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!