“Hey Heather,
My parents and friends don’t like my boyfriend. They supported me when we broke up but I wish they could be equally supportive now that we are back together. He really is a great guy and it was my fault that we broke up; but, my friends blame him for cheating when he actually didn’t. I was really pissed that he was talking to this one girl I can’t stand. He was not cheating at all, but my friends and parents won’t believe me now. How can I convince them that he is the man I love and that they need to be supportive because he is the man I am going to be with?” -Young, in love, and unsupported
Dear Young, in love, and unsupported, Oops… I meant to say: Dear Liar,
I hear this often from people who are addicted to drama. They spend their entire relationship “relating” their business to anyone who will listen rather than focusing on giving to their partner and building a loving relationship. Your friends and family are not light switches. They cannot turn their “like” on and off. You lied so well about your boyfriend that you convinced everyone he was bad. Now you are feeling “unsupported” because they won’t buy into the new version of your story? How supported do you think this poor guy feels? He is dating a girl who talks badly about him, accuses him of doing things he hasn’t done, and then expects to control the feelings of others with her lies. My dear, you don’t need support, you need to stop lying and creating drama! If he is such a great guy, people will see that. But you best beware… if he is such a great guy, HE will also see who YOU are. Never lie about your relationship to “get people on your side” because lies always have a way of coming around to bite you. If you really want this relationship to have a prayer, start by fessing up to your lies, cut the drama, and start focusing on being a good girlfriend. BE the type of person you would want to be in a relationship with, and stop trying to control other people.
Sorry to be so harsh my dear, but I guarantee if you follow my advice, you will see ALL of your relationships start to improve! You are worthy of love and happiness, but you will never find it in deception. Open your heart and be vulnerable, and trust people to love you for who you are, without trying to manipulate or control them, and Live Inspired Now!
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
People like to be around people who are enthusiastic, excited, and who have a zest for life! Even more, be enthusiastic about other people as well! Get interested in the things that other people are doing! Your friends, co-workers, kids, parents, your boss, or even potential friends all have something going on in their life, and how excited would they be if they knew someone else was taking an interest? Showing enthusiasm for other people makes them feel important, and cared for. How much would your relationships improve if you showed some enthusiasm for the people in your life?
Today….. show the people in your life that you are excited about what THEY are doing. Show them by asking questions, listening, or offering to get involved. Get excited, be enthusiastic, show them how much you care, and Live Inspired Now!
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
There is nothing more awesome than your significant other showing enthusiasm for you! Whenever I text Thad and tell him that I am on my way home from somewhere, he always responds with a “Yay!” Such a simple little thing but that “Yay” makes me feel so good! It tells me that he is excited for me to be back home, and that he looks forward to seeing me! ( Don’t worry, I also say “Yay” when he texts me too! )
Does your partner know that you are excited to see them? Do you show your enthusiasm when you know they are returning home? Do you greet them with loving arms, a big hug, or a passionate kiss when they return? This is not reserved for just when they have gone away for long periods either… show some enthusiasm even when they are just coming home from work, or shopping, or from driving kids all over the planet. ( Can you tell I am playing taxi driver lately? ) How will your relationship improve if your partner feels loved, and desired?
One simple word that takes less than a couple of seconds to text or say, and it can make your lover feel completely loved, appreciated, and wanted. Say “YAY.” show your LOVE, enthusiasm, excitement, happiness, and Live Inspired Now! YAY!!!
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
“Hey Heather,
I am a hot mess! I am separated from my 3rd husband and ready to move on. I am tired of moving on with the wrong people. I find myself with people just for the ‘comfort’ but they are unhealthy, and I know they are not for me. In relationships, I feel like I am often either the doormat or a major bitch! I don’t want to get hurt again, but I also don’t want to hurt another person. I am just starting to enjoy being alone for the first time since I was a teenager. Is this normal? I’m too old to keep making dead-end mistakes that leave me heartbroken. Any advice or suggestions?” -Hot Mess
Dear Hot Mess,
Welcome to the “hot mess club!” It’s actually a really beneficial place to be because now you have learned all the lessons, and gone through the hard part!! Time to move past the hurt and start to really experience all the love, joy, and happiness that life has to offer!! You can start this journey by doing some “self-awareness” work. Time to ditch the people who are holding you back or hurting you in any way! YOU DESERVE TO BE HAPPY! Sounds like you have already started to create some boundaries with the unhealthy people in your life, good job! Feel free to delete, block, or ignore the rest of them! I went through this too. I had to “upgrade” the people I let be in my life. Self empowerment: just do it! Do things that might be a little scary but will get you out of that “comfort” that you mentioned. Comfort is for couches, not personal growth! Get out there and start meeting new people, trying new things, and take courses that will teach you more about yourself. You have been a mom and a wife for so long that you forgot that you are also a woman with your own dreams too! It is time to start doing things that YOU LOVE, that will excite you and help you remember to laugh and be happy! Sounds like you are a very strong lady, let that strength continue to help you grow and learn so you can go out and grab life by the balls! I was a hot mess for a while too! I was married 3 times before I met my current husband. I did it. So can you!!!! You just have to be willing to take a few steps to improve your life!
Here are a few small steps:
Read self-help books (I hope you will start with mine, you will like the stories! Live Inspired Now: A Field Guide For Happiness)
Put notes all over your house with positive messages on them!
Ditch, delete, and disregard Debbie Downers, then DISCOVER new, more positive people! (maybe look for a positive meetup group in your area at meetup.com )
Exercise a little each day…. even if it’s just a short walk.
Crank up some fun music and dance, sway, or move in some way….. smile, laugh, and enjoy it!
Put on some comedy! Do whatever makes you laugh!
Spend a few minutes each day in gratitude for all that you are. You woke up today…. that alone is enough to be grateful for!
Turn off the news. There will always be bad in the world, but there will also be good. Focus on the GOOD!
Just try these few things and notice how your life turns around! Life is what WE make it… so go make your life awesome! Instead of a “hot mess” just be hot…. red-hot, on fire for life! Your life, your rules my dear! Live Inspired NOW!!!
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
Check out today’s video and learn how to prevent your romantic relationship from slipping away and Live Inspired Now!
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!