What words do you say habitually? What phrases do you repeat over and over? Are these words and phrases creating anything positive or strengthening in your life? Are they teaching your children to be empowered and confident? You can always make a change, you can always practice replacing the negative with positive. Like any habit, it takes time, but you can handle it!
Here are some of the positive things I say often and on a daily basis:
“God bless!” – to the kids before bed.
“What’s good?” – instead of “How are you?”
“I love you!” – not just to family, but to my friends also.
“I’m excited!” – instead of “I’m nervous.”
“I know you can handle it!” – instead of telling people what to do.
Words only have power if you believe them and what you tell yourself or your kids… you believe. So replace the negative and limiting words with more empowering words. Words can make things better, so use them optimally! Create more positive verbal habits, even if it is replacing only one negative phrase with a positive at a time, and Live Inspired Now!
PS: Don’t forget to get my book ‘Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness’ today! It’s autographed, it’s awesome, and it’s going to change your life!
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
Unexpressed emotions lead to anger. Anger turns to resentment. Resentment kills relationships. People come to me all the time saddled with heavy emotional baggage that they have been carrying around for far too many years. Their relationships are suffering and they feel angry all the time but, don’t really know why. People use anger as a “go to” emotion for a multitude of reasons. Often times, this is because they don’t feel safe expressing sadness; they think it is a weakness. Or, because they don’t want to say something and “rock the boat.”
In order to maintain long term, happy relationships, you must make time to express your true feelings. I would add, that you must allow your partner to feel safe enough to be completely honest. Feelings or emotions that go unresolved will always lead to resentment if you don’t find an outlet to discharge. Talk open and honestly with the people in your life, if you don’t feel safe enough to do that, then perhaps you should re-think the relationship.
For example:
Your spouse makes a rude comment that they thought was funny and not meant to be hurtful.
It hurts your feelings but you say nothing.
The spouse learns (by your silence) that this is an acceptable way to joke and continues.
With every joke you feel more sad, hurt, targeted, isolated, frustrated, until it all turns to anger.
You are re-stimulated and remember ALL the rude comments every person ever made to you.
Your anger becomes overwhelming until you lash out.
A fight ensues (usually with a topic other than the original comment).
This could have been avoided if you expressed that your feelings were hurt by the first rude comment.
For example:
Your spouse makes a rude comment that they thought was funny and not meant to be hurtful.
It hurts your feelings and you express it: “I know you didn’t mean to, but that comment actually hurt my feelings.”
Your spouse gets the opportunity to apologize and make things right.
Expressing your feelings before they turn into anger is the key! You might not always get the response you wish for in exchange for your openness, but you will be able to leave the baggage behind you and know that you didn’t let yourself down by failing to acknowledge your feelings. When you express your feelings, you unconsciously acknowledge and validate yourself as a person of worth.
So today, don’t let emotions go unexpressed. Boost your self worth, strengthen your relationships by saying what you feel, and Live Inspired Now!
PS: There is an entire chapter in my book about discharging emotions and leaving the BS baggage behind! Buy an autographed copy today…. on the right hand side of this page!
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
I am all for “being yourself,” and being true to who you are. However, if you are having a hard time connecting with people, or maintaining relationships, then perhaps there are some personality tweaks that you can make that might help people relate to you better. Sometimes, we put people off without even realizing it and by following these helpful tips you will notice a big difference in your interactions. People may be more drawn to you, or perhaps long time friends will notice a real change in your energy and how they feel when they are around you! Give these a try and create deeper relationships with people in your life!
9 Ways To Be More Likeable:
1 Like yourself! If you don’t put much value in who you are, neither will anyone else. Take care of yourself, your health, and your surroundings. No one will ever treat you worse than you treat yourself. You set the standard for what you accept, be sure you have a high enough standard!
2 Get your attitude in check grumpy! People do not like to be around someone who is always angry, cranky, or complaining about things… well except other people who are angry, cranky, or always complaining. Gratitude is one of the best ways to get rid of the grumpies. Focus on the things you have to be grateful for, start with waking up today and go through a list of all your blessings.
3 Chill out and allow other people to manage their own lives! I know, I know…. other people are doing things that annoy you, or they are doing things wrong and you know how to fix them. Well guess what? It is NOT your responsibility so let it go! How much easier would your life become if you only had to worry about living your life and not others? Let other people experience and learn from their own journey.
4 Compliment others and appreciate a job well done! If you notice someone doing a good job, take a moment to compliment them. People are drawn to others who make them feel good. Make time to recognize even small things… a co-worker’s new haircut, or a child’s completed project. Say something nice!
5 Smile! You don’t have to plaster a fake smile on that never comes off. Just smile when someone walks by. If you are the type of person where people are always asking you “what’s wrong,” then you may just need to smile more. You might be perfectly content but your body language is sending different signals. Make an effort to smile at people so they know you are approachable.
6 Listen! Too many people think about what they are going to say next rather than actually listening. People like to be truly heard, so truly listen! You don’t always have to “solve” the problem, just show you care by being fully present and listening to the other person.
7 Don’t gossip! Everyone knows, if you talk about other people, you will also talk about me when I walk away. Nobody likes a gossip so don’t say anything about another person that you wouldn’t say in front of that person.
8 Don’t take that tone! It is not just what you say, but how you say it.Take note of how you use your voice. Do you sound sarcastic, annoyed, indifferent, mad, or unsure? The words mean far less than the tone you use to say it.
9 Love who you are with! People like people who like people! If you genuinely like the people you are with, it will show. If you can’t like them, at least find some common ground that you can appreciate. Maybe you can appreciate that you like the same football team, or that you have kids that are similar ages. You can always find something to appreciate if you just take the time to notice.
Relationships are the most important factor to a quality life, so be sure to have quality relationships. Try to connect with more people on a deeper level and Live Inspired Now!
PS: Don’t forget to get my book ‘Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness’ today! It’s autographed, it’s awesome, and it’s going to change your life!
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
I have a knack for simplifying things. I prefer life to be simple but in today’s world, people seem to like to make everything difficult. Everything can really boil down to two things; change or acceptance. If you have a challenge, you can either change it or accept it; it really is that simple.
What exactly can you change? YOU! You are the only solution to all of your problems! You can change your attitude, behavior, feelings, and your beliefs. No, you can’t change your boss and make him nicer. You can’t change your parents and make they less judgmental. You can only change you, and how you feel about all of those people and circumstances. You just have to decide if you need to change or accept what is.
If you decide to make some changes for yourself, here are a few tips:
– Be specific about what you want to change.
– Create a plan with a timeline that is not open ended.
– Be accountable for only your own feelings, thoughts, and behaviors. What other people do, say, think, or feel is none of your business…. even if they do, say, think, or feel it about you!
– Surround yourself with supportive people, friends, or family that will support your changes.
– Hire a coach to keep you on track, hold you accountable, and encourage you.
Now, for the acceptance. If you absolutely cannot change something, then make peace and accept it. You don’t have to like it, love it, or agree with it, but if you don’t accept it, your own feelings will make you miserable. Let’s say, for example, your husband decides to cut down your favorite fruit tree while you are at work. While this may be upsetting, the tree is gone and cannot come back. Feel free to express your feelings about it but then you must accept it and make peace with what is. Choosing to remain upset for years about things out of your control will merely make your unhappy.
So, you can either change yourself or make peace with what is. Either way, you can handle it! We are solely responsible for our own happiness, for the changes we make, and for what we accept. Make some decisions about whether to accept or change things and Live Inspired Now!
PS: My book is in stock and shipping out in time for Christmas! Buy an autographed copy today!
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
Once upon a time there was an inspired princess. She was the most beautiful princess of all time, with long red curly locks of hair that often overwhelmed her freckled, fair skin. The princess had an incredibly compassionate heart and always prioritized the needs of her people above her own; they loved her very much.
The princess herself had but one wish. She wished for true love. As a child she had heard a story of another princess in a far away land that kissed a frog and released a prince charming so she vowed to kiss frogs until her prince emerged.
The princess occupied her days with helping everyone and making other people very happy. In her spare time, she “kissed” every frog she came across, looking for the man of her dreams. Magnificent princes rode gallantly into her kingdom to court the inspired princess but she quickly sent them away; after all, they were not frogs and she knew that she was to rescue an ugly old frog from his tortured existence. So on she went, helping everyone, kissing frogs, and avoiding princes; and she did this for years.
One day, she woke and didn’t feel as inspired. She wondered why she was spending her days sharing her wealth and helping others, and still had not been rewarded with the one thing she truly wanted. How much longer would she have to give unselfishly only to return to her castle each night, lonely. It seemed as if she had lost her inspiration. She stopped leaving her castle and helping the people, and vowed to never kiss another frog.
One day, a knock came upon the large castle door. The sad, uninspired princess opened the door to see a very handsome prince standing before her with a large basket overflowing with baked goods, fresh fruit, vegetables, and hand made crafts. The charming prince told her that the townspeople missed her and had put together their finest offerings and had asked him to kindly deliver them to her with their love. The princess was moved to tears and invited the prince in to the castle. They shared baked goods from the basket and swapped stories for hours. Later, as the prince was preparing for his departure, she kissed his cheek and thanked him for the best day she had in years.
The princess returned to town after that and continued her work: caring for the sick, feeding the poor, and generously sharing what she had with her people. Eventually, she and the prince fell in love and on the day they were to be married the princess thanked the towns people for sending the prince to her. She also thanked the prince for helping her to see things clearly. She had been so busy trying to save frogs, she forgot to save herself.
The Inspired Princess and Prince Charming were married. They presided happily over an abundant and joyous kingdom, and lived inspired and happily ever after!
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
