It can be challenging when someone you love has anxiety. You might not know what to do, or how to react during their anxiety or panic attack. Everyone is different but here are a few tips to help you cope when someone you care about is dealing with anxiety.
1 Be compassionate: Make an effort to understand where the anxiety is coming from. First of all, know that is not about you, but rather, how they are feeling about a situation. For example, they may have parenting anxiety and get upset when they don’t know what to do about a child that won’t stop crying. Understand that they might be concerned for the child’s safety, it may be rational or irrational, but to them it is very real. Because they can’t stop the child’s crying, they feel overwhelmed and out of control. Trying to understand where the anxiety stems from and realizing it is not about you will help you feel more compassionate toward the person suffering.
2 Resist the urge to engage: Make an effort to avoid getting sucked in. No matter how much someone is stressing out, you have the choice to remain calm. Imagine if the EMT (Emergency Medical Technicians) workers arrived at a car accident and they all started screaming and freaking out; nobody would ever be rescued. Picture yourself as an EMT worker, and you are there to help and remain calm during the crisis. You might not be able to “help” but by remaining calm, you can prevent the situation from becoming worse.
3 Take a deep breath: Simple, I know, but most people forget this in the moment. Find peace in taking nice deep breaths, it will help to keep you grounded and focused.Make sure to breathe deeply enough to make you consciously acknowledge your diaphragm moving.
4 Validate their feelings and offer to help if you can: Say something like “I see that you are upset, how can I help?” or “I see you are struggling, would you like to talk about it?” They may not want your help (and that is OK), but at least you are making an effort to understand and help.
5 Walk away if you need to: If you find that you are unable to avoid reacting, or over-reacting, then simply walk away. Explain later that you had to get away, but it’s better to walk away than to pour gasoline on the fire. Create healthy boundaries, even with people who are very close.
6 Communicate: Give everyone enough time to cool down, then talk about the situation. Talk about how the situation might have been handled differently, and express how you were feeling. You can even talk about creating an action plan for future anxiety attacks. Your loved one might appreciate you just taking a step back and not doing anything when they are anxious. Or they might have a specific phrase that you can say that will let them know you are there for them. Communicate honestly and openly with one another and you will get through anything!
7 Lay your weapons down: Pointing out your loved ones weaknesses will not help them. It can be scary and frustrating when your loved one is having an anxiety or panic attack. However, yelling at them, or judging them will never help them get better. If you want to express your love for them, create a safe place for them to be honest and open with you about what is going on. Encourage them to seek professional help. Offer to be supportive and continue to encourage while they are learning to overcome anxiety. Anxiety is not something you can just “stop doing” or “just focus on something else.” It takes professional help to overcome so encourage your loved one to reach out for help. Note: many people are far more receptive to seeking help from a “life coach” rather than from a “therapist”.
Most of all, do your best. We are not perfect, nor will we always react perfectly when someone we love is in crisis. Don’t beat yourself up about it. Do your best, ask for help if you need it, learn as much as you can, be supportive and kind without compromising yourself, and Live Inspired Now!
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
Today I am off to Syracuse to teach two workshops titled “6 Easy Steps To Happiness” followed by book signings. I am pretty excited and have been preparing for a couple of days. During my preparations, I have been thinking about “teaching happiness” and the fact that there is a growing need for such a thing. People (and I was one of them) need to learn how to be happy again.
We are born fully equipped to be happy forever but through the process of growing and learning, we “UN-learn” how to be happy and joyful like a child. Growth is natural but growing cynical is not. That is something done to us by parents, teachers, media, friends, experience, and all other influences. So much so that we end up having to relearn how to be happy. Happiness is a choice. A choice that too many of us trade for security or comfort.
If you are unhappy, or not feeling fulfilled in life, find your bliss again! Please, read my book, read my blog, read any transformational material you can find and get your life back! Your time on earth is uncertain; Make the most of what you have and appreciate it while you have it. Reach out to those you love, do things that bring you great joy, try new things, and take some risks. Don’t settle for mediocrity: live, love, play, sing, smile, laugh, skip, dance, call, speak up, kiss, hug, run, taste, listen, and take every opportunity to truly enjoy life! Then teach your kids to do the same so later in life, they won’t have to take a class to remember how to choose happiness!
“People often sit for hours, even days, contemplating the meaning of life. I think it’s pretty simple; life is about being happy and being happy is about living inspired, loving fully, and being true to who you are. Choose happiness and Live Inspired Now!” -Heather Paris
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
Yesterday I decided to enjoy my favorite drink, a chai latte, at my local Barnes and Noble bookstore. I knew that my book was there in the store and I thought it might be fun to get a picture of myself with the book while I was there. I wanted to ask an employee to take the picture for me but I couldn’t find one so I bravely asked a stranger. Yes, believe it or not, I am actually a little shy! Ask me to get up on stage in front of a crowded room; sure no problem! Ask me to approach a stranger in the bookstore and ask him to take my picture; totally out of my comfort zone!
I politely approached two men who were near my book and asked if they would kindly take my picture. The man in this picture, Daniel, was more than happy to take the picture for me. We talked about the book, he showed me a picture of his beautiful daughter, and then he purchased my book…. the last one on the shelf! He asked me to autograph it for him which I did, and I left the store feeling really awesome! I felt like a celebrity and it felt great! I was also thrilled that the store had sold out of my book! Later that day, a friend of mine went to the same store and she said they had put out more copies!
People often think I am so outgoing, and not afraid of anything. That is completely inaccurate. I am often very shy; I am an introvert and I am afraid of many things. I just spend a great deal of time OUTSIDE of my comfort zone. I never let fear prevent me from doing something and I practice being more extroverted. I know that the most exceptional things happen when I am challenged, so I don’t run from things. I just figure out how to make them work and I keep trying until it works. My book, my marriage, my kids, my work, and my life are all reflections of this attitude! Step outside of your comfort zone and create some exceptional things in your life and Live Inspired Now!
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
You will never be as young as you are today! Stop saying things like “I’m not as young as I used to be,” or “I’m too old for that,” because you are using words that create limitations in your head! You alone create your mental age and it doesn’t have to match your years. I am 42 now and just published my first book, I live with passion, I love to try new things, and I feel about 22! I know senior citizens who jump out of planes, travel the world, and really get the most out of life. I also know very young people who are wise well beyond their years! It is all about the attitude! Create an attitude of energy, youthfulness, excitement for life and Live Inspired Now!
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
Who is the MOST influential person in your life…. YOU are! Yes, you are! Despite the endless amounts of awesome people we have in our lives, it is always YOU that makes the decision to be influenced by another. YOU can choose to admire and emulate people who are making risky or questionable choices or, you can choose to model yourself on the admirable and upstanding individuals that are in your world.
For that reason, it is YOU that is the most influential person in your world. Isn’t that reason enough to treat yourself better? Isn’t that a great reason to stop the negative self talk? If you make the biggest impact on yourself, shouldn’t you be healthy, happy, and advocating for yourself? The gift of positive words, love, and kindness that you give to yourself impacts everyone else as well. Let your self worth be a loving example of inspiration to others! Empower yourself with the highest level of love, respect, kindness, happiness, and peace and Live Inspired Now!
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
