Listen, if people don’t like how you talk about them in your story, then they should have behaved better!
I’ve said this statement at least 5 times in the past week so people must need this message!
You are NOT responsible for how your abuser feels, for how they think or behave, or for any consequences they experience as a result of you speaking your truth.
A big part of processing your painful experiences is to focus solely on how YOU feel about them.
Abusers like to use “guilt” to continue to control their victims: “Well if you tell this story, how will I ever get a job? I can’t get better if I can’t support myself. No one will believe you anyway…”
Let me define guilt because this too gets very twisted… guilt is a feeling of worry, or unhappiness that you feel when you’ve caused harm.
The ABUSER is the one who caused HARM yet they feel no guilt in trying to continue to manipulate you.
From this day forward, reserve your guilt for times when you actually cause harm…. like if you accidentally run into a person with your shopping cart and run over their toe.
Otherwise, you my friend, can tell your story without feeling any guilt, shame, or hesitation…. and when you do, you take your power back from the abuser!
***Abuse takes many forms… physical, mental, emotional, financial, sexual, psychological, etc. It’s any behavior or action that threatens, injures, manipulates or controls another person. If you think you might be in an abusive relationship, please seek help immediately.***
Need help? Contact me and let’s set up a free call! I’d love to help you work through any challenges you are facing. Coaching is always confidential, it’s fast and effective, and it works!
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PS: LAST WEEK TO GET TICKETS TO WIN MY PINK CAMARO!!!
How cool would it be to pick up your BFF’s in a hot pink convertible Camaro???
Imagine the two of you with the top down, wind in your hair, visiting your fav shops, and turning heads along the way! (And the Instagram pix… omg really?)
GUESS WHAT?
YOU have a chance to WIN a Classic Camaro convertible custom painted in hot pink!
Raffle Tickets are $50 each.
Get them quickly because once we sell 200, that’s it!
A portion of the proceeds to benefit the Vaccine Rights Legal Defense Fund!
Grab your ticket right away…. the winner will be drawn at random on July 28th on Facebook Live!
GOOD LUCK & PLEASE SHARE!!
About the Camaro:
• 1996 Pink Chevrolet Camaro Convertible
• HOT PINK!?!? (That’s the most important right!?)
• Manual 5 speed transmission
• 101.000 Miles
• V6
• Located in Port Byron, NY.
*Must sell 200 tickets in order to have drawing*
*Winner is responsible for their own vehicle registration and taxes.
*Delivery available within 60 miles of Port Byron, NY.
Don’t wait, get your ticket now!
Hit reply to this email if you have any questions or contact me at my info below!
Sharing is caring! Please share!
With love, gratitude, and inspiration,
Heather Paris
607-269-7815
www.liveinspirednow.com
Email me: heather@liveinspirednow.com
Follow me on YouTube, Instagram (@heatherparis) and Facebook!
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
Having the ability to understand and share the feelings of another is NOT always a good thing.
When I was married to my first husband Donnie, who was (and still is) an alcoholic and drug abuser, I had a serious case of empathy bias…. showing favor for those who are suffering.
Donnie was actually a really kind person but to cope with a horrible childhood, he turned to drugs and alcohol to alleviate his pain at a very young age.
During our brief marriage, I could feel his pain and it was soul crushing. I wanted to alleviate his suffering, so I did whatever I could to try and make things better….
- I downplayed his drinking
- I denied his drug abuse completely
- I didn’t reach out for help
- I’d constantly clean up the messes he made with his friends and family
- I took responsibility for his bad behavior and mistakes
…. and it only got worse.
Empathy is a beautiful quality until it turns into codependency. Then it hurts both people.
Codependency is when you rely on other people for your own identity so you enable their poor choices, bad behavior and addictions.
I was codependent on Donnie because my identity was reliant upon him getting clean and sober. I lived only to make sure he was OK, and that our marriage appeared successful.
Now, after almost 30 years, 3 kids, education, therapy, and training…. I truly am grateful for my experiences because I get to help so many people in a formal way without losing myself to an unhealthy relationship!
Do you have empathy bias? Is your big heart and desire to help turning into a codependent situation?
Contact me and let’s talk.
You CAN break free from the codependent merry-go-round and find true happiness that isn’t reliant on other people….. and life is exquisite when you can enjoy it fully without bearing the weight of the world.
Contact me and let’s set up a free consultation call.
I look forward to hearing from you!
Sharing is caring! Please share!
With love, gratitude, and inspiration,
Heather Paris
607-269-7815
www.liveinspirednow.com
Email me: heather@liveinspirednow.com
Follow me on YouTube, Instagram (@heatherparis) and Facebook!
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
Are you willing to read on to learn how to get your spouse, kids, friends, or clients to say YES more often?
It’s very simple, let me show you how….
From now on, instead of telling, or even asking someone to do something, ask them if they are “willing.”
For example:
“Hey kiddo, are you willing to do the dishes so I can start dinner?”
“Hey Babe, are you willing to take out the trash for me so I don’t get my hair wet in the rain?”
“Hey readers, are you willing to read on…….” (See what I did there with that one? lol)
Commands, or questions that are disguised as commands often don’t work AND they put strain on your relationships.
When you ask someone if they “are willing” then you give them a choice in how they decide to act as a person.
It takes the focus OFF of the task, and puts it on the persons willingness to help and it’s FAR more effective in getting a YES! You might even get an enthusiastic HELL YES!
Are you willing to share this with someone who might be struggling? Just share this page with them!
What are YOUR thoughts on this? Leave your comments below! I LOVE your feedback!
With love, gratitude, and inspiration,
Heather Paris
607-269-7815
www.liveinspirednow.com
Email me: heather@liveinspirednow.com
Follow me on YouTube, Instagram (@heatherparis) and Facebook!
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
The words that make me want to cry…. “I suffer from…”
Sally was having a bad day and boldly proclaimed on Facebook that she was “suffering from depression.” She went into all the reasons why her life was terrible, how she had no friends, and how broke she was financially.
Sally became super defensive whenever anyone tried to give her some advice, uplifting words, or encouragement. Sally wanted to suffer and nobody was going to deny her that.
I’m not saying depression isn’t real. I am however saying that suffering is optional and that you should never utter the words, “I suffer from” again!
Don’t take ownership of suffering. At the very least say “I am experiencing _______ right now.”
I live by the phrase “this too shall pass” and even if it’s something that absolutely will not pass, I “live” with it, not “suffer” from it.
You can live with far more than you can suffer from.
Your words have exceptional power over your feelings, don’t “suffer” when you don’t have to! Hardships, heartbreak, and sadness come with living, don’t add suffering to life as well.
What are YOUR thoughts on this? Comment below…
With love, gratitude, and inspiration,
Heather Paris
607-269-7815
www.liveinspirednow.com
Email me: heather@liveinspirednow.com
Follow me on YouTube, Instagram (@heatherparis) and Facebook!
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
I don’t “grocery” shop anymore. I do go to the grocer but it’s for this or that… never “big” shopping. We use to go big shopping weekly and it was a $200 minimum.
Now, I get all of my nutrition from an amazing company that we buy directly from! It’s helped us lose weight and our kids are getting vitamins and minerals from food that they actually like to eat! Parenting win! lol
I get all of my skin care products from another amazing company that we buy directly from! Not only is it vegan, cruelty free, and healthy… but my skin has never looked for felt better! Even in this harsh winter, I’m not suffering from dry cracked skin! Yay!
I get all of my hair products from yet another amazing company that we buy directly from! Not to brag, but I get compliments daily on my hair and while that makes me feel really good, it feels even better knowing that I am using vegan, cruelty free, healthy products that don’t contain garbage!
I get all of my cleaning products from you guessed it… another amazing company that we buy directly from! I love cleaning with all natural oils that don’t contain toxic ingredients that cause asthma, inflammation, and a host of other disease and illnesses!
So yea… I still go to the grocery to grab a few things… but I don’t get anything back for shopping there!
All the other companies pay us back just for buying things we’d use anyway, it’s delivered right to our door, and I feel good knowing that the choices are healthy for my family!
So the next time a friend says they are starting their own business, try their products, let them talk to you about it, or even host a party for them! You never know, you may end up becoming a member and saving on your own products, or even making money!
They are doing something healthy for their family, they are saving trips to the store, and they are building a residual income for themselves! It’s a win-win-win!
Watch this video to learn why everyone should join a network marketing company and what it can do for you and your family: https://www.facebook.com/
Are you in a network marketing company? I’d love to hear about which products you use… just hit reply to this email! 🙂
Have an absolutely, fantastical, amazaballs, inspirational week!!
With love, gratitude, and inspiration,
Heather Paris
607-269-7815
www.liveinspirednow.com
Email me: heather@liveinspirednow.com
Follow me on YouTube, Instagram (@
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!