Wow! This has been quite the week… my 19 year old daughter Madison jumped out of a plane at 10,000 feet above the earth! I have felt relatively weird ever since. I have been a roller coaster of emotions since she landed safely, but what exactly have I been emotional about? I wasn’t quite sure at first, it took me a couple of days of reflection to really get to the root of what was going on. It had nothing to do with fear, in fact, I was completely relaxed and confident when she jumped. I knew without a doubt that not only would she be fine, but she would truly love the experience and be better for having done it.
So what was going on with my emotions? There were a couple of different things going on. First, was the sheer awe that I felt, that it was ME that created such a kick ass kid. I kept thinking back to when she was born and my life at the time was pure chaos and fear. As a young mother of 22 and married to an alcoholic, I really had no clue what I was doing. I think I was a pretty decent mom giving the circumstances I had created for myself, but I fell short often. I was so far from perfect, yet I raised this amazing young woman. I am grateful that she is making healthy choices for her life, and even more grateful that she and I are so very close.
The second thing I was feeling pretty emotional about was seeing Madison live life through the fear instead of letting it hold her back. Most people will never jump out of a plane and that is OK. But too many people will let other fears rule their life. Things like staying stuck in a crappy job they hate because they are too afraid to look for something else. Or people who are too afraid to love because they are stuck in the loss that they once felt. Or the people who resign themselves to mediocre living because they are too afraid to take a risk, or be judged by others. I was one of those people when I was Madison’s age and I now wonder what potential I might have had if I had a Mom like myself to encourage me to take life by the balls! Don’t get me wrong, my parents were not bad parents or people, but they were, and are, very different than me. I wonder if I would have been like Madison… brave.
I told you it was quite the week! lol. I am grateful for who I am today. I am grateful that I wasn’t brave back then because I might not have Madison now! I am grateful that I did discover my personal power and freedom.
Are you still struggling? Have you decided to take life by the balls yet? You might not want to jump out of a plane, but you CAN step outside of the box and create a freakin’ awesome life for yourself, no matter what age you are now! You CAN also “re-parent” yourself. That is to say that you can change how you feel about something that happened when you were a young person. Your “inner child” is still within you, and you can help her/him heal. You can parent you own inner child in able to let go of the past that is holding you back today.
Take a look at the things you are too afraid to do today. Trace them back to the original incident that created the fear. Then have a conversation with yourself about that incident and what it meant. Tell your younger self that is OK, you are allowed to process the feelings, and then let go of them. Tell your younger self that you are allowed to release the pain it caused. Spend some time really nurturing your younger self. Cry, laugh, yell, or do whatever comes to you… then heal.
If you need help letting go of the past that is holding back your present, please reach out to me today. Don’t let another day, week, year, decade go by without truly living and loving life and all it has to offer. Life can be SO magical when you are brave enough to take some risks and step into your own greatness. Get past your past, reach out today, and Live Inspired Now!
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
Nobody likes that person who is constantly correcting everyone. You know who I mean… the person at school or work who constantly tells you why you are wrong, or how you used improper grammar, or the irritating busy body who challenges everything you say. I often feel bad for people like that… they have this constant need to validate themselves by proving to themselves that they are right, or that they are smarter than others. It is a symptom of low self esteem because they require validation to feel good about themselves.
I like to tell my kids that right is right no matter who knows it, and it is (generally speaking) rude to correct people. Proving others wrong will never make you smarter, and it certainly won’t make you more popular. Teach kids to cherish relationships more than superficial validation and Live Inspired Now!
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
“Hey Heather,
Why are all boys in my grade such jerks? I really like XXXXXX and he said he liked me too, but he acts like he doesn’t like me when he is with his friends. I really want to have a boyfriend and I am mature and stuff, but I don’t think boys are.” -8th grader
Dear Mature and stuff,
You are in 8th grade. Nobody in 8th grade is mature enough for a “relationship” and that is a GOOD thing! Look at the adults around you… most of them are not even mature enough for a relationship! Many adults now are struggling, divorcing, cheating, lying, fighting, or living like roommates! This is because they never learned HOW to have a successful relationship! Schools don’t teach people how to communicate without hurting the other person, or how to meet the needs of your partner unconditionally, or even how to work through conflict. In other words, schools do not teach people how to have successful, happy, and healthy romantic relationships.
It is completely natural for you to want a boyfriend, but you my dear are in an excellent position to have something FAR better! Start learning HOW to be successful at relationships now, so you will be ready for a real relationship later! At your age, boys come and go, crushes happen often, and you will fall in love many times. That is part of the excitement of growing up. Just remember, now is not the time to focus on finding “Mr. Right.” It IS the time to giggle, have fun, hang out with BFF’s, take lots of selfies, talk about boys, drool over your favorite singer, dream of mansions and limousines, plan summer fun, spend time with your family, paint your nails, climb a tree, read a good book, watch a scary movie…. and a million other age appropriate fun things! I once read this saying; “High school is where you meet your bridesmaids, not your husband!” I like that a lot!
I hope you will take it upon yourself to become the relationship guru of your age group! There are plenty of books about relationships, (mine included,) there are youtube videos, and there are tons of blogs… all dedicated to teaching people how to have successful relationships. (Read the hundreds of blog posts right here: http://liveinspirednow.com/category/relationships/ ) You are not too young to learn, grow, and share your knowledge and someday, many years from now, some awesome guy will be grateful to be your boyfriend! Don’t miss out on him because you settled too soon for a “jerk.” Step into your own greatness, appreciate who you are right now, observe good and bad relationships, learn all you can, and Live Inspired Now!
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
Heather will be speaking at the Inspiring Confidence and Empowerment conference at Natur-Tyme in Syracuse, NY on Thursday, June 12, 2014, from 5:00 – 6:00pm.
Please join Heather for this engaging and witty talk about creating more happiness in your family. Heather talks about inspiration vs. motivation, the power of positivity, how to build self-esteem, and even how to communicate more confidently so people, even your kids, will listen!
Happiness, confidence, and laughter…. what more would you want in a one hour talk?
FREE to all but seating is limited! Call Natur-Tyme to reserve your seat: (315) 488-6300, or email at events@natur-tyme.com and Live Inspired Now!
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
We are most often the source of our own pain based on the choices that we make. Don’t create pain by living lies! Be honest, give people credit enough to be able to handle the truth, and Live Inspired Now!
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!