Storms are a natural and normal part of life no matter what climate you live in! The same is true in relationships…. storms are part of life. You can survive the storm if you are properly prepared. Just like making sure you have water, food, and other necessities during a weather storm, you need to know what to do for relationship storms too.
Follow these 4 vital steps to weather your relationship storms:
Awareness: Talk to one another about situations that may cause stress. You may not even realize when you are getting stressed out, so spend some time thinking about it. Maybe the morning rush is the catalyst that causes so many arguments? Or perhaps disagreements about parenting and what type of consequences the children should get? Become fully aware of where and when the storm begins to brew so you can address it.
Action Plan: During stress free times, create an action plan to follow during the storm. Come to an agreement on who has the final say in different scenarios should you come to a stale mate. Perhaps “you” have the final say on parenting consequences, but “I” have the final say on financial decisions. That is not to say that you both don’t have valuable input, it’s just a plan in case you can’t agree. And you will eventually find a situation where you simply cannot agree on what should be done, but you can still agree on a plan that you both created for these types of situations.
Stay The Course: Don’t give up on your plan, you created it for a reason and it will work if you stick to it. After the storm, you can re-visit your action plans and tweak them as needed but during the storm stay on track. Hold on to one another when the boat is rocking especially when the storm is rough! A united crew will save the ship.
Thank Your Crew: You are both “co-captains” of the ship, appreciate and thank one another. Gratitude is the antidote for anger! Celebrate the storm passing by spending time together, loving one another, and deeply appreciating that your relationship is strong enough to weather the storm!
Follow these simply steps to create a relationship that is stronger than any storm and Live Inspired Now!
Buy “Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness” today and get practical inspiration for your happy life!!!
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
If you have read my book, you know how many times I have been married. Yet, I still very much believe in the sanctity of marriage. With that said, I ALSO believe in marriage education! There is currently no school curriculum that teaches children how to enter into and maintain healthy relationships. If these relationships are not modeled for them at home, how will they learn?
With today’s divorce rate being so high, and single parent households being so common, kids are rarely subjected to healthy and happy marriages or partnerships. I don’t define marriage, I only encourage it to be healthy. Your family definition is your business, but teaching you to be healthy and happy is mine!
Not all marriages are meant to last, and how could they be? Too many people get so caught up in the excitement of the wedding, the drama, the attention, the fun that they forget the excitement will eventually come to an end. Once that happens, if they don’t know how to communicate with their partner, the relationship will suffer. When the music stops, we need to know how to appreciate the silence. Love ebbs and flows, and we need to teach our young people how to weather the storm. Not only that, but we need to teach young people HOW to choose the right person for them. Young people NEED to know: the difference between love and infatuation, how to put one another first above all else, and to be completely vulnerable and honest with one another. Until we teach young people relationship skills, we will continue to have people getting divorced in record numbers.
During one of my recent speaking engagements, a woman, in her 50’s, approached me after my talk. She stated that she was unhappily married to her second husband, and that she often took comfort in the fact that he was 20 years older than her, which meant that he may “die much sooner than me.” She then went on to say “Oh, I know that is awful, but I often think about it.” Here is what I said to her in response: “It isn’t awful to say that, it’s human. But do you want to be the type of human that wishes death for your spouse just so you don’t have to take action? You have the opportunity every day to make changes!” I also mentioned that she wasn’t really doing him any great favors by staying with him and that he might be happier to be alone than to be with a wife who dreams of his death.
This is not uncommon folks. I hear these types of things ALL THE TIME! What I don’t hear a lot of though, is people taking personal responsibility for their own lives, choices, behaviors, and relationships. How much are you really doing to make your relationship work? Have you really considered your potential spouse in the long term? Have you read any books or taken any workshops about healthy relationships? Have you learned how to communicate effectively? And most of all, what steps are you taking to ensure your kids learn these skills?
Learn how to choose the right partner. Learn how to communicate in a manner that gets your point across without hurting your significant other. Learn some simple tools that will teach you how to have a successful relationship. Then, model that behavior for your children. Learn how to create lasting love, and Live Inspired Now!
PS: Please reach out to me today if you need help with your current relationship, or if you would like me to teach you how to pick a better partner going forward. I can give you the tools to make your relationships happy and healthy with the best possible chance of success! I look forward to helping you find true, lasting love! I can also teach you how to teach your children to have healthy relationships despite your current circumstances!
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
Have you made it safe enough for your lover to be completely and totally honest with you? If you have read my book, you know that I believe honesty is a keystone in relationships. There is never an excuse for a partner to lie, or be dishonest, period. However, you also must ensure you are making it safe for your partner to be that open.
I often hear that one spouse doesn’t feel they can be honest because of the storm that will ensue if they are. It’s as if they are partnered with their parent, or their boss, as opposed to a mate, lover, partner, or spouse. I hear that they will lie just because it is “easier” than telling the truth. It is “easier” than being yelled at, ridiculed, belittled, or abused. THIS IS NOT A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP FOLKS!
Be your partners BIGGEST fan! Let them know that they are safe to express whatever they are thinking, feeling, or needing. Create a relationship that offers complete honesty, love, non-judgement, and support for one another and you will create a relationship that cannot be broken. The bond of honesty, trust, and true friendship can withstand any type of chaos!
Make sure your partner knows that it is safe to say things like: “I really don’t want to be around your parents, can we come up with an alternative?” or “I was really mad when you texted me about XYZ. Let’s talk about it because I don’t want to start resenting you.” or “I am feeling disconnected with you and I would like to do something together to get back on track.” or even “So and so flirted with me at work, I ignored it and walked away but wanted you to know so it didn’t seem like I was keeping something from you.” If your partner can express these types of things to you, without feeling afraid of what you will do, you will have a very strong and honest relationship!
An exceptional relationship enjoys honest communication, deep connection, and true acceptance of one another. Today, be sure your partner knows it is safe to be honest. If they don’t, start creating healthier habits in your relationship and Live Inspired Now!
PS: Want more advice on how to be happy, and have an awesome relationship? Buy my book ‘Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness’ today! Or contact me today for coaching and make all of your relationships awesome!
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
Dear Young Ladies,
Do you know what it means to “jump the gun”? This saying refers to a runner who starts the race before the starting gun fires. The runner is then dis-qualified and kicked out of the race for starting too early.
Would you take an opportunity to “jump the gun?”
What if someone offered you Christmas early? Would you take it? Say I could offer you Christmas today, months and months before anyone else. You would get great presents, yummy food, special attention, but you would be the only one. Then, when Christmas comes around for real, you would get nothing, and would not be able to participate. You would have to watch as others enjoyed the holiday together, without you. Would you take that if it were offered to you?
Ladies, we are often temped to engage in things too early. In fact, many of you will contemplate “jumping the gun” in your relationships. Many girls do this because it feels good to be “wanted” or “needed.” However, the truth is, that when you get too involved when you are too young, you risk jumping the gun on something that would be far more special if you waited to share it.
Having intimate relationships when you are in your early teens might get you attention now, but you will lose out in the long run. The attention you get now from a 13 year old boy will NEVER compare to that of a loving, committed man when you are older. Please don’t trade tomorrow’s happiness for today’s comfort.
You do NOT need a boyfriend to prove that you are worthy. You do NOT need someone to like you in order to like yourself. You do NOT need “likes” on your facebook selfie to prove you are pretty. You do NOT need to show your body to get attention. You are loving, caring, worthy, beautiful, smart, talented, funny, and impressive young ladies and you deserve the best… just because you are YOU! No matter what grades you get, no matter how many friends you have, no matter how many tweets get shared, no matter where you live, no matter what you look like, no matter your size… no matter what…. YOU MATTER!
So my dear young ladies, your time will come; don’t jump the gun. It is absolutely OK to like boys, to talk about boys, and to have age appropriate relationships. But avoid getting into sexual or intimate relationships too early. Wait and be excited about what’s to come when you get older, enjoy the milestones of your youth, make lasting friendships and Live Inspired Now.
PS: If you need help, please message me today! You can find me on facebook as Inspired Heather Paris, or you can email me at: heather@liveinspirednow.com. Even if you have “jumped the gun” in some area of your life, you can recreate your innocence. You are not broken, messed up, or damaged. Contact me for help and start thinking more highly of yourself… because YOU matter!
PPS: Parents, if you are concerned about your daughter, please reach out. I help young people learn self worth, self confidence, and self love. Don’t wait until it’s too late, get help now if your child is in crisis.
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
If you want love, then love has to come from you! All to often I hear people telling me what they want in their relationship yet they are unwilling to give what they wish for. A young woman told me recently that she wanted a man that would respect her, treat her like a queen, listen to her, and introduce her to his family. A “nice, relationship like you see in the movies, with flowers and passion and stuff” she told me.
My advice to her, as well as to anyone looking for certain things in a relationship was this: Love must always come from you. You will never find someone to really love you if you don’t love yourself. You will never find your “king or queen” where the court jesters hang out. You will never get respect if you don’t respect yourself. You will never have that nice relationship if you settle for attention.
Stop posting half naked pictures of yourself online. Stop swearing and posting negative comments on facebook. Stop hanging out in bars or clubs. Stop falling for superficial flattery. Stop living vicariously through celebrities that have no interest in you at all. Stop making the business of others into your own. Stop flirting with people if you are in a relationship.
Instead try: Posting pictures of yourself doing great things like serving food at a shelter. Post uplifting quotes and complimentary comments on facebook. Hang out with other volunteers, church members, or people in community groups. Make friends and be a good friend; the best relationships evolve from friendships. Admire people who do good in the world. Ignore and avoid negative people. Make someone feel really special. Let your special someone feel like the most important person in your entire world.
Be the type of person you want to be in a relationship with. Be love, show kindness, express gratitude, live with purpose, speak gently, leave the world better than you found it, and Live Inspired Now!
PS: Like this post? Buy the book: Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness! Get your autographed copy now, right here on this site! I can’t wait to hear what you think! 🙂
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
