Having the ability to understand and share the feelings of another is NOT always a good thing.
When I was married to my first husband Donnie, who was (and still is) an alcoholic and drug abuser, I had a serious case of empathy bias…. showing favor for those who are suffering.
Donnie was actually a really kind person but to cope with a horrible childhood, he turned to drugs and alcohol to alleviate his pain at a very young age.
During our brief marriage, I could feel his pain and it was soul crushing. I wanted to alleviate his suffering, so I did whatever I could to try and make things better….
- I downplayed his drinking
- I denied his drug abuse completely
- I didn’t reach out for help
- I’d constantly clean up the messes he made with his friends and family
- I took responsibility for his bad behavior and mistakes
…. and it only got worse.
Empathy is a beautiful quality until it turns into codependency. Then it hurts both people.
Codependency is when you rely on other people for your own identity so you enable their poor choices, bad behavior and addictions.
I was codependent on Donnie because my identity was reliant upon him getting clean and sober. I lived only to make sure he was OK, and that our marriage appeared successful.
Now, after almost 30 years, 3 kids, education, therapy, and training…. I truly am grateful for my experiences because I get to help so many people in a formal way without losing myself to an unhealthy relationship!
Do you have empathy bias? Is your big heart and desire to help turning into a codependent situation?
Contact me and let’s talk.
You CAN break free from the codependent merry-go-round and find true happiness that isn’t reliant on other people….. and life is exquisite when you can enjoy it fully without bearing the weight of the world.
Contact me and let’s set up a free consultation call.
I look forward to hearing from you!
Sharing is caring! Please share!
With love, gratitude, and inspiration,
Heather Paris
607-269-7815
www.liveinspirednow.com
Email me: heather@liveinspirednow.com
Follow me on YouTube, Instagram (@heatherparis) and Facebook!
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
I don’t “grocery” shop anymore. I do go to the grocer but it’s for this or that… never “big” shopping. We use to go big shopping weekly and it was a $200 minimum.
Now, I get all of my nutrition from an amazing company that we buy directly from! It’s helped us lose weight and our kids are getting vitamins and minerals from food that they actually like to eat! Parenting win! lol
I get all of my skin care products from another amazing company that we buy directly from! Not only is it vegan, cruelty free, and healthy… but my skin has never looked for felt better! Even in this harsh winter, I’m not suffering from dry cracked skin! Yay!
I get all of my hair products from yet another amazing company that we buy directly from! Not to brag, but I get compliments daily on my hair and while that makes me feel really good, it feels even better knowing that I am using vegan, cruelty free, healthy products that don’t contain garbage!
I get all of my cleaning products from you guessed it… another amazing company that we buy directly from! I love cleaning with all natural oils that don’t contain toxic ingredients that cause asthma, inflammation, and a host of other disease and illnesses!
So yea… I still go to the grocery to grab a few things… but I don’t get anything back for shopping there!
All the other companies pay us back just for buying things we’d use anyway, it’s delivered right to our door, and I feel good knowing that the choices are healthy for my family!
So the next time a friend says they are starting their own business, try their products, let them talk to you about it, or even host a party for them! You never know, you may end up becoming a member and saving on your own products, or even making money!
They are doing something healthy for their family, they are saving trips to the store, and they are building a residual income for themselves! It’s a win-win-win!
Watch this video to learn why everyone should join a network marketing company and what it can do for you and your family: https://www.facebook.com/
Are you in a network marketing company? I’d love to hear about which products you use… just hit reply to this email! 🙂
Have an absolutely, fantastical, amazaballs, inspirational week!!
With love, gratitude, and inspiration,
Heather Paris
607-269-7815
www.liveinspirednow.com
Email me: heather@liveinspirednow.com
Follow me on YouTube, Instagram (@
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
It may sound like a small thing but yesterday I impulsively decided to apply to be a vendor at an art festival selling my hand painted rocks!
Big hairy deal right?
Well impulsivity CAN be a big deal… if you don’t learn to manage it!
People, especially young people, have a need for adventure! Some more than others, but we ALL have the need.
Personally, my need for adventure is higher than most and when I was younger, I would sometimes meet that need in a negative way because I didn’t understand it or know how to meet my needs in healthier ways.
So impulsively spending money on clothes that I didn’t need, quitting a job, or getting in my car and driving to visit a friend 6 hours away on a whim was standard practice in my young life.
NOW… I’ve learned to take risks without being risky. I allow myself to be impulsive on things that hold little or no risk to my personal safety, stability, or integrity.
I cannot tell you how important it is to learn, or teach your kids, to be adventurous in a safer way!
Kids that need higher amounts of adventure are at high risk for getting involved in unhealthy activities like drugs, sexual encounters, gangs, disruptive behavior, and risky stunts, dares, or challenges if they aren’t directed to healthier choices!
Allow yourself or your children to be “adventurous” in ways that won’t risk personal safety, health, or happiness!
Some adventurous examples for kids might be snowboarding, zip lining, hiking, cutting school for a mom/son date day, or even just daring them to climb into the pillow bin at Walmart! Find ways to let them get their heart pounding, adrenaline racing, and laughing their butts off!
It’s good to engage in adventure from time to time!
So…. yes, I entered a festival as a rock painting “artist” and guess what? They accepted me! So now I get to spend the Summer painting rocks in preparation for the “Purple Painted Lady” festival in September and I couldn’t be more thrilled! It’s simply for the FUN of it… nothing more! If I don’t sell one single rock, I don’t even care… I’ll give them away for Christmas! lol. Painting is a source of meditation and relaxation for me and I’m happy to have any “excuse” to paint!
What can you do today to be a little impulsive in a healthy way? Hit reply to this email and let me know your adventure……
The Live Inspired Now Life Coach Training School is NOW OPEN for registration!!!
YOU can be the influence that changes lives for the better!
With your experience combined with the skills in this training, you will take your own personal growth to a new level, you will learn how to raise/teach emotionally resilient kids, and you’ll be able to apply all these strategies to your daily life!
If you find this content helpful, please share it! Sharing is inspiring!
With love, gratitude, and inspiration,
Heather Paris
www.liveinspirednow.com
Email me: heather@liveinspirednow.com
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
OMG. Seriously… It seems the tagline “What happens in Vegas” really does bring out some horrendous behavior in people as Thad mentioned in the email last week! (Thank you Thad! <3)
I saw way too many boobs and even a penis when one guy just decided to whip it out as I walked to Starbucks one day! Gross.
Anyway, besides all the private parts, I also learned a ton of awesome stuff, and observed many things that inspired some good thoughts!
To keep this shorter than a book, I will just bullet point some stuff and feel free to Contact me!! if you’d like further information or clarification!
Mindset Tips:
- Action, not thought, will always bring more clarity.
- Righteousness doesn’t make you better, it only separates you from others.
- With smart phones everywhere… nothing truly “stays in Vegas!”
- Acknowledging your challenges is the first step to overcoming them.
- Do what’s good for your business, not your ego!
- If you can give, help, or serve… please do!
- Your body parts are NOT what make you appealing. Your heart and mind are.
- Be more interesting by being more interested in others.
- Trade your vision board for an “ACTION” board!
- Your kids will be as emotionally strong as you are!
- Never take your kids to Las Vegas unless you have to. And if you do, be ready to shield their eyes!
- Make a decision. Make a plan. Make it happen.
- “Busy” is not “Business.”
- Don’t wait to make a change in your life because you may miss the opportunity!
- ***Want to hang out with mindset masters? Contact me!!***
Business Tips:
- Keep going so when you do come up for air, you have something to celebrate!
- Don’t trade who you truly are, for what you want. Be who you are and the rewards will come.
- There is nothing comfortable about being broke.
- Do what’s good for your business, not your ego!
- The more you read, the more you grow!
- Step up your game by hanging out with people who have achieved more than you.
- It’s easier to make money when you have mentors or coaches.
- Knowing exactly “WHY” you want to succeed is FUEL for success!
- Wealth is having the freedom to do what you want, when you want, and where you want!
- Don’t work for money, work for purpose and the money will follow.
- Fire bad clients.
- You are only as good as your team.
- Never pre-judge a person on whether they will be interested, or able to afford your product or service.
- ***Want to take your business to the next level? Contact me!!***
Weight Loss Tips:
- Keep going so when you do come up for air, you have something to celebrate!
- Eat whats good for your body, not your mouth!
- Deep sleep plays a HUGE role in successful weight loss.
- Food effects mood.
- It is NOT hard to eat healthy while on vacation with the right system.
- The belly buster REALLY works to take inches off your belly! (Ask me about my weight loss system.)
- Lifting weights / resistance training helps you lose fat easier and faster.
- Avoid all you can eat buffets!! (I may have learned this one the hard way at the Bellagio!)
- You NEED a coach to hold you accountable.
- Intermittent fasting is excellent for fat loss, and internal detoxifying!
- Fat gets a bad rap, but it actually accrues to protect your body from toxins.
- Sweating doesn’t mean fat loss, it means water loss. You should be able to “talk” through your workouts without panting.
- Health depends more upon nutrition than it does exercise.
- 48% of adults do not get enough magnesium which supports nerve function, blood pressure, strong bones, and a steady heart beat.
- Diets do not work. Eating nutrient dense food does!
- Feel your soul more than you feed your body and you will lose weight.
- ***Want to lose weight with me? Contact me!!***
- JOIN ME FOR A FACEBOOK LIVE TONIGHT (TUESDAY, AUGUST 15TH) AT 7PM FOR MORE WEIGHT LOSS TIPS!!!
As you can see, I took a lot away from Las Vegas! Some good, some not so good, but ALL useful!
On a personal note…. I decided to walk everywhere instead of taking Uber and it was great exercise! My last day, I walked 9.2 miles in 108 degree weather!!
I went to a cocktail party in a new size 8 dress (high school size) and had dinner at the top of the Stratosphere in the revolving restaurant while bungee jumpers jumped off in front of us! Yikes!
I also got to see some amazing people… Tony Robbins, Flo Rida (rapper) and Montell Jordan (rapper)!!!
Life is truly as good as you decide it to be! Life happens… some good, some bad, but WE are always able to decide how we act, react, and interact with our world! Never let a tagline determine your behavior, choices, or life!
Questions? Contact me!!
With love, gratitude, and inspiration,
Heather Paris
PS:
Have you joined the life coach certification training yet??? Enrollment closes at the end of August and will not be open again until next Spring! Become a coach and change your relationships, family, career, and life… JOIN US NOW!!!
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!