Lately it seems most of my clients are parents so I thought I would pass along the wisdom I have shared several times this week!
You are responsible for keeping your kids safe, not comfortable!
We all want our kids to be happy and healthy, and we never want them to suffer. But sometimes we mistake “suffering” for discomfort.
Discomfort is appropriate and healthy. Discomfort creates an environment for kids to learn how to self soothe, take responsibility, and discover their own strengths.
Here are a few tips to creating and allowing an appropriate level of discomfort:
- Allow your kids to complete their own homework, or projects without your input
- Don’t always rush out to their school to bring them what they forgot at home
- Encourage your kids to try new things
- Assign household responsibilities (aka chores)
- Instead of giving your opinion, ask them what THEY think
- Ask for their advice, input, or opinion on family matters (not critical issues)
- Use natural consequences instead of punishments
- Use boundaries instead of discipline
- Stop over praising and start asking them how THEY think they did, look, performed, etc…
Remember when they were toddlers and kept falling down while they were learning to walk? Those falls eventually turned into strength and balance!
Let’s be honest, raising kids is the hardest thing you will ever do! It was hard to watch them fall as toddlers, and it’s hard to watch them struggle as teenagers, But it’s worth it when you know they are prepared for the tough world that’s full of challenges!
There are easy solutions to most parenting challenges, all you have to do is reach out and ask for help! Another quick tip… if you can, ask for help BEFORE it becomes critical!
If you are in Upstate New York, please check out this FREE event:
3 Exceptional Talks at the Family Wellness Event that will change your life:
- Raise your kids GPA! by Special Education Teacher Katie Dennis
- Get your teenagers engaged in a positive passion! by 15 yr old life coach Carrie Deaville
- Fix your damaged or dying relationship! presented by Me!
September 22nd, 5:30 – 7:30pm at NaturTyme
Register, share, and get more info here! Bring a friend too!
You already love your kids, but now you can actually like them too! 😉
Love,
Heather
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
Drugs and alcohol are killing our kids. The problem is everywhere, no matter where you look.
WE CAN DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!
Please, I beg you to take action BEFORE you need to because:
PREVENTION IS EASIER THAN INTERVENTION!!!
Here are some additional tips to prevent your kids from trying drugs and alcohol that are not in today’s video:
1 Know your kids friends… it’s your best leverage.
2 Know where your kids are and check in on them.
3 Be sure adults are supervising when they are at friends houses.
4 Don’t keep drugs or alcohol in your home.
5 Don’t create a home environment that your kid needs to “escape” from.
6 Don’t ignore problems! Intervene immediately if your child try’s drugs or alcohol. Do not “excuse” bad behavior!
7 Talk to your kids! Many TV shows portray teenagers drinking, drugging, and having sex constantly and they may think this is “normal.”
8 Create a moral foundation. Your moral foundation doesn’t have to be religious, but let your kids know what your values and expectations are for your family.
9 Keep it real. Volunteer at a place that will allow them to see the damaging effects of drugs and alcohol. Not only will it help them learn compassion, it may serve as a warning of what not to do.
10 Have a really quality relationship with your child so they know it is safe to be honest with you.
Watch today’s short video and learn one of the most important things you can do to prevent your kids from trying drugs and alcohol!
If you need help, please reach out today: Contact Heather
Spread the love and share this with someone who would benefit!
Love,
Heather
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
Once when my daughter Madison was an angsty teenager, she said to me “You NEVER let me do anything!”
This ridiculous statement came after she spent an entire weekend with her friends, hanging out at the local apple festival, and having a sleepover! AND, I made homemade pizza, and cookies for the sleepover!!!
REALLY? I NEVER let you do anything???
Kids tend to globalize everything and it’s important that we help them see the true reality of things because otherwise they will begin to see the world as they describe it.
YOU will become the enemy because they “ALWAYS” see you as the bad guy.
Today’s video offers a quick tip to save your relationship from your child’s crazy, hormonal, teenage brain!
Hang in there!
Has your child ever said something like this? Leave your comment below!
Love,
Heather
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
You know when you get lost in a day dream, or you’re in the shower and all those inspirational thoughts are just pouring into your head? Well that is “theta brain,” and that is the normal state of children up until 7 years old. In adults, this is the state of being hypnotized. So it’s like children are hypnotized until they are about 7.
During that period of development, kids often can’t tell the difference between what’s real, and what they imagine… it really is all the same to them. During this time, they are most influenced by their environment. It’s like their sub-conscious is wide open and what they see, feel, do, hear, and experience becomes the sub-conscious foundation for their future.
It is especially important to protect what goes into their little brains at this age. Yelling, screaming, fighting, arguing, loud noises, traumatic events, abandonment, neglect, inappropriate television, movies, or music, and abuse shapes their brain without them possessing the ability to process it.
On a good note, anything positive that happens before age 7 while in this hypnotic state builds a foundation for a happier, healthier life.
After 7, they become more conscious and are in the “alpha” brain. This is when they start to model the adults in their life. They learn directly from the behavior of those around them. You only get a few years of this and then…..
Puberty hits. Listen, once puberty comes, you are no longer able to control your kid. You literally ONLY have until they arrive at puberty to give them a solid foundation with which to survive the teenager years and beyond.
If you have a teenager in crisis, you can get help, but do not wait. The longer your teen remains in crisis, the harder to pull them out.
If your kid does drugs ONE time, intervene and get them help IMMEDIATELY! Do not believe they will “never do it again.” Do not feel pressured to do nothing because your spouse thinks “it’s no big deal.” Do not ignore the problem and think “oh it’s just a phase.” Do not overly coddle your kid because “he might hurt himself or run away if I’m too hard on him.”
These are nothing more than excuses to be a parent who isn’t doing the right thing for her kid.
Drugs, self-injury, suicidal talk, mental illness, blatant misbehavior, risky sexual activity, criminal activity, promiscuity, running away, social isolation, alcoholism, and emotional dysfunctions, are serious issues in young people and need to be addresses immediately. Waiting to address these issues is extremely risky and will most likely make the problems far worse.
I am on a mission to help families raise healthy young people who become great citizens! You can help too by reaching out if you need help, and by spreading the word about what you learn with other families and parents! It’s up to us to change the world…. one family at a time!
Please let me know what you think of this post, and please don’t wait to reach out if you need help with your young person. I look forward to hearing from you!
Love and Inspiration,
Heather
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
Even if your child is mentally healthy, he or she IS going to school with a child that isn’t and it can impact YOUR child greatly.
Most children are not born with mental illness. I’m not talking about developmental disabilities like autism, or downs syndrome, I’m talking about mental illness like bi-polar disorder, depression, or anxiety.
Kids are not born depressed or anxious. Usually, they develop these conditions after trauma, or because they live in an unstable environment. Kids who grow up in households with parents who fight exhibit the same symptoms as kids who grow up in war torn countries with bombs going off daily.
Kids who grow up with parents who struggle with mental illness or addiction are almost guaranteed to suffer from mental illness or drug / alcohol addiction themselves. While there are some legitimate mental disorders that a child can develop even in the best of circumstances, the majority of psychological issues come from the environment.
The child that sees mom getting beat up by dad will almost certainly find themselves in an abusive relationship. The child that witnesses a drunk or high parent, will almost certainly abuse drugs or alcohol. The child that caters to a depressed parent that won’t get out of bed, will also struggle with depression. It’s called inter-generational transmission. You are transmitting your choices, behaviors, actions, and problems to your children and it becomes their way of life.
There is some good news though. The parent who makes a conscious effort to get healthy will also impact their kids in a healthy way! Let your kids see you making healthy choices, and they will too! Let your kid see you walking outdoors, throwing out all the cigarettes and beer, getting up off the couch or out of bed, reading self help books, or making changes with the help of a professional coach or therapist.
I can’t tell you how soul crushing it is to see a young person in crisis because of learned helplessness. We bitch and complain about kids these days but WHO is taking a stand to step up and educate young people to be healthy and whole? Today… I am and I hope you will too!
Here’s what we can do:
1 Start at home. If you have challenges, especially psychological issues, GET HELP NOW. Don’t wait another moment. Pick up the phone and schedule an appointment, and start making healthier choices. Do it for yourself and for YOUR future generations who will all be impacted by your choice today!
2 Spread the word. If you know people who are struggling, let them know they can get help! Share this email, or offer them a self help book. Offer to go with them to their first coaching or therapy session, or take them to a self help workshop!
3 Educate your children. Personal growth and development doesn’t have to begin in adulthood. Kids today are super smart and can understand the concepts of taking care of their mental health. All kids need coaches too! They need a trusted adult that they can learn from and lean on besides their parent. Kids with mentors or coaches are 55% more likely to go to college, 130% more likely to hold leadership positions, and are 46% less likely to use drugs!
You DO have the power to impact your self, kids, family, schools, community, and world! Please help me get the word out so we can make a difference. Every parent we help; is a child that has a better future!
Contact me right now if you want coaching for yourself, your child, or if you need help sharing this message with your local schools or organization!
Spread the love, and live inspired now!
Love,
Heather
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!