Lately I have read a lot of posts in which people are complaining about their “ass of an ex,” partner who is “not stepping up as a parent” or “cancelling out on visitation” or “who is still drinking.” BLAH BLAH BLAH!!! I just want to take a moment to mention that while your “EX” may very well be an “ass,” that makes you an “ass picker!”
Isn’t it time we step up and take some personal responsibility for picking the “ass?” I certainly made the wrong choices in my past, and I used to blame my “EX”, too. However, in time, I came to learn that taking personal responsibility for the people I let into my life is far more empowering than assuming the role of a victim. Once I accepted that I MADE BAD CHOICES, then and only then, did I have enough awareness to start making better choices for myself. Sure, I could blame my ex-husband for being an alcoholic, or I could take responsibility for the fact that I thought I could “fix” him, and married him with that intention. I beat myself up for years for making dumb decisions, but that didn’t do me any favors either! It wasn’t until I put on my big girl pants, did some personal development through learning, reading, and letting go that I realized I CREATE MY WORLD. I could either continue to blame everyone else for my problems, or I could step up, set a new standard for my life, make better decisions, and move forward! That is what I did, and you can too!
Stop calling your “EX” out on Facebook. So what if he is an “ass”. Guess what? Calling him an “ass” hasn’t helped the situation yet! When is the last time you called someone a mean or hurtful name and they all of a sudden jumped up and said “You are right! I am an ass! Based on your criticism and public humiliation, I think I will step up and become a better person!” Let’s face it, that is not how it works. I get it, we all need to bitch and complain sometimes to get our feelings out. Call a friend and discharge all that negativity, but stop calling your “EX” mean names in public. It hurts a child to see his parents publicly ridicule one another, and it makes you look bitter and petty.
Just because you picked the wrong person in the past, doesn’t mean you are doomed to repeat the process. Not all women/men are bad. Not all relationships have to be ugly. But if you have a history that seems to make this true, it’s time to step up, read some books, take some courses, hire a coach, and do some personal growth! You deserve to be happy, fulfilled, and in a healthy, happy relationship in which you feel like the most important person in the world to someone. But first, you have to start focusing on the positive and create a healthier, happier new environment for you and your kids! Model happiness, compassion, and kindness. Let go of the ass from the past and start picking better people to have in your life, and Live Inspired Now!
PS: If you need some help dealing with new family dynamics, please check out: You’re Not My Real Mom!
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
RESPONSIBILITY is the Ability to choose your Response! Having the ability to choose your response to any situation, event, or circumstance means you have a great deal of power. It is far more powerful to choose how to respond to things than it is to just react to something. When you react, you give away your power. The last thing you want, is to give your personal power away to someone who irritates you!
Taking personal responsibility is the highest form of power because it means that no matter who confronts you, or what happens to you, only you are responsible for how you act as a result. Let’s completely get rid of the BS that you don’t have any control. Let’s stop saying things like: “It’s not my fault, I couldn’t help it, he made me do it, or that’s just how I am!” These BS excuses have no place in a life of happiness and inspiration. Those types of excuses are for victims, martyrs, cry babies, haters, whiners, Debbie Downers, and Nay-Sayers!
YOU have the ability to create a life that is happy, joyous, and full of gratitude! YOU have the ability to get the resources you need to create the life you love. YOU have everything within you to leave a lasting impression on this world…. will your impression be one of misery and excuses, or one of smiles, laughter, and happiness? When you leave the earth, do you want people to think of all the excuses you made, or remember all the inspiration you gave? It is always YOUR choice, your personal ability to respond to your environment. So today, drop the BS, stop making excuses and start making a life! Start living, loving, enjoying, laughing, feeling, smiling, trying, doing, being, and most of all inspiring!
How will YOU inspire someone today?
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
There is no way that things are supposed to be. There is only the way we think, they are supposed to be. Life can feel a whole lot better and you can be a whole lot happier if you change any limiting beliefs that you have! Life is just life, without limits, without expectations, without drama. Create the life you want, love or leave the people you are with, and Live Inspired Now!
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
Upstate, NY friends, please join me tomorrow for a talk and book signing at Downtown Books and Coffee, 66 Genesee St. in Auburn, NY. I will give a short talk at 1:00pm, then will be signing books, and answering questions. I very much look forward to meeting YOU!
Thank you so much!! See you tomorrow! 🙂
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
You can look back and regret, or you can rejoice. I choose to rejoice, for all the choices, good and bad because they landed me exactly where I am now! I am so grateful for my past failures because they taught me what I needed to learn. I am grateful to use my past as a guide for making better decisions now and in the future!
You never have to live with regret if you choose to look at your past with gratitude. Today’s happiness does NOT depend on yesterday’s successes. Live and learn, choose to be happy each day, and Live Inspired Now!
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!