Let me start by saying I hate that I even have to talk about this but the fact is:
- porn is pervasive in our world
- our kids are vulnerable
- it’s exceptionally damaging
- tons of parent’s ask me about it.
So let’s discuss some ways to keep our kids safe!
Yes, even YOUR kid can be exposed to porn. I don’t care what religion you are, how secure your internet is, or how much you’ve “protected” them…. it’s everywhere and no kid is 100% safe.
Thad and I will be doing a brief Facebook live talk on this subject tonight, January 29th, at 9pm so please join us then. My Facebook address: https://www.facebook.com/heatherloveslife
In the meantime, here are a few strategies to protect your babies!
For younger kids:
1 Have “the talk!”
If you don’t talk to your kids about sex, someone else will and it may not align with your own values or beliefs. In addition, they may just get information that is completely inaccurate…. for example: “You can’t get pregnant the first time you do it.”
2 Have “the talk” EARLY!
No age is too young to discuss intimacy and sex. Obviously you need to use age appropriate language and the earlier the better because it makes porn less alluring. You had to talk about peeing and pooping in the potty, don’t clam up about sex!
3 Use appropriate body part names!
It’s a vagina and a penis. Not a hoohaw, peepee, or private parts. Use the real names as they are real body parts just like the nose, arm, and knee. The more evasive you are with your language, the more you unconsciously drive home that their parts are embarrassing and the less likely they are to have open talks with you.
4 Tell kids WHO gets access to their genitals!
Make sure they know that only Mommy and Daddy or the Doctor when Mommy or Daddy are with them, get access to their genitals. Tell them what touching is OK too… wiping after the bathroom, changing diapers, or checking for a rash etc.
For older kids:
1 Everything on the list above if you haven’t done it. Better late than never…
2 Family zone!
Keep computers in the family room. Don’t allow laptops or computers in children’s bedrooms. Kids should be in a public area when using the internet.
3 History tells all!
Check the history on your computer often. I’m no computer whiz but there must be some software that blocks certain sites, or can help monitor what sites are visited on the family computer. Thad handles that stuff in our home but if you don’t have a “Thad” then a quick google search should give you plenty of computer safety options.
4 Sexual feelings are normal, not bad.
Please let your kids know that their sexual urges and desires are totally normal. They are not “bad” for wanting sex, they are human. Never demonize your child. Just discuss with them appropriate ways to deal with their sexual urges. Yes, this is a wicked awkward conversation but open and honest communication is the most effective antidote to destructive decisions.
5 If you catch them, don’t lose your shit.
Seriously, if you pick up your laptop and find they have been searching and or watching porn, put the laptop down, take a few nice deep breaths, and come up with your talking points. Screaming, grounding, ignoring, or punishing your kiddo is a missed learning opportunity. Again, their desires are completely normal and they need to learn that porn is NOT the way to deal with their own biology.
6 Sex can be funny.
A little laughter goes a long way. Not every conversation with your child has to be a lecture, or deadly serious. Over-dramatizing a situation is a great way to make it even more attractive; lighten the mood with a little levity.
7 Allow your kids to do something “bad.”
Letting your kids get away with a few things that they think are “bad” is a great way to help them express themselves in a safer way. For example, let your kid dye their hair pink, or skip a day of school to go shopping with you, or let them have a friend over on a school night. Be sure to pretend that you HATE the idea and that they are “winning” one over on you. Kids need to rebel, it’s part of childhood. Allow them to rebel in safe ways rather than by doing things that are very harmful such as watching porn, or having sex too early.
8 Be the hang out house!
You get to be the cool mom or dad that allows everyone to hang out in your house. It’s easier to monitor what your kids are doing if they are at your home. You can’t watch them at their friends house and their friends may have a laptop and web cam in their locked bedroom. Yikes!
We offer more tips HERE on you youtube: https://youtu.be/gjQWiAtmslo
Be sure to tune in and feel free to message me with specific questions that you have before we go live. I’ll try to answer all questions (anonymously of course.)
There are no guarantees that you can completely protect your children at all times, but you can increase your odds by being proactive and active when it comes to their safety.
Watch the youtube video and get more tips at: https://youtu.be/gjQWiAtmslo
Please share this message if you know someone that may benefit. Thanks!
What are YOUR thoughts on this? Comment below!
With love, gratitude, and inspiration,
Heather Paris
607-269-7815
www.liveinspirednow.com
Email me: heather@liveinspirednow.com
Follow me on YouTube, Instagram (@heatherparis) and Facebook!
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
The words that make me want to cry…. “I suffer from…”
Sally was having a bad day and boldly proclaimed on Facebook that she was “suffering from depression.” She went into all the reasons why her life was terrible, how she had no friends, and how broke she was financially.
Sally became super defensive whenever anyone tried to give her some advice, uplifting words, or encouragement. Sally wanted to suffer and nobody was going to deny her that.
I’m not saying depression isn’t real. I am however saying that suffering is optional and that you should never utter the words, “I suffer from” again!
Don’t take ownership of suffering. At the very least say “I am experiencing _______ right now.”
I live by the phrase “this too shall pass” and even if it’s something that absolutely will not pass, I “live” with it, not “suffer” from it.
You can live with far more than you can suffer from.
Your words have exceptional power over your feelings, don’t “suffer” when you don’t have to! Hardships, heartbreak, and sadness come with living, don’t add suffering to life as well.
What are YOUR thoughts on this? Comment below…
With love, gratitude, and inspiration,
Heather Paris
607-269-7815
www.liveinspirednow.com
Email me: heather@liveinspirednow.com
Follow me on YouTube, Instagram (@heatherparis) and Facebook!
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
I don’t “grocery” shop anymore. I do go to the grocer but it’s for this or that… never “big” shopping. We use to go big shopping weekly and it was a $200 minimum.
Now, I get all of my nutrition from an amazing company that we buy directly from! It’s helped us lose weight and our kids are getting vitamins and minerals from food that they actually like to eat! Parenting win! lol
I get all of my skin care products from another amazing company that we buy directly from! Not only is it vegan, cruelty free, and healthy… but my skin has never looked for felt better! Even in this harsh winter, I’m not suffering from dry cracked skin! Yay!
I get all of my hair products from yet another amazing company that we buy directly from! Not to brag, but I get compliments daily on my hair and while that makes me feel really good, it feels even better knowing that I am using vegan, cruelty free, healthy products that don’t contain garbage!
I get all of my cleaning products from you guessed it… another amazing company that we buy directly from! I love cleaning with all natural oils that don’t contain toxic ingredients that cause asthma, inflammation, and a host of other disease and illnesses!
So yea… I still go to the grocery to grab a few things… but I don’t get anything back for shopping there!
All the other companies pay us back just for buying things we’d use anyway, it’s delivered right to our door, and I feel good knowing that the choices are healthy for my family!
So the next time a friend says they are starting their own business, try their products, let them talk to you about it, or even host a party for them! You never know, you may end up becoming a member and saving on your own products, or even making money!
They are doing something healthy for their family, they are saving trips to the store, and they are building a residual income for themselves! It’s a win-win-win!
Watch this video to learn why everyone should join a network marketing company and what it can do for you and your family: https://www.facebook.com/
Are you in a network marketing company? I’d love to hear about which products you use… just hit reply to this email! 🙂
Have an absolutely, fantastical, amazaballs, inspirational week!!
With love, gratitude, and inspiration,
Heather Paris
607-269-7815
www.liveinspirednow.com
Email me: heather@liveinspirednow.com
Follow me on YouTube, Instagram (@
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
Do you know what the lymphatic system of the body does? Here are a few tips to get you into action so you can tackle family issues head on:
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
Your loved one wants you to know this one simple truth…
They love YOU, for you, not for what you do.
It’s that simple. Your husband/wife/kid/boyfriend/girlfriend/best friend etc… they love YOU. Not what you do, what you produce, or how hard you work.
They might appreciate those qualities about you, but they love YOU simply because you are their person.
If you couldn’t work any more, or stopped painting, or decided to cut your hair short, or wanted to try a new career, they will STILL love you.
They love YOU, for you, not for what you do.
We are so goal oriented in our society that we forget that love is not predicated on achievement.
After coaching thousands and thousands of people of all kinds, I know this to be 100% true. They love YOU, for you, not for what you do and they just want you to be happy.
So stop beating yourself up and downplaying your worth… you matter to them.
With love, gratitude, and inspiration,
Heather Paris
607-269-7815
www.liveinspirednow.com
Email me: heather@liveinspirednow.com
Follow me on YouTube, Instagram (@heatherparis) and Facebook!
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!