Do you know the difference between self care and self medicating? If not, that could be the reason your “self care” isn’t working!
Self care is preventative. Self medicating occurs during emotional crisis.
Self medicating happens when you’ve become exhausted, resentful, or upset. You’ve taken care of everyone else and no one cared back. Now you are “rewarding” yourself with something destructive because you are pissed off, sick of it all, or determined to give a giant middle finger to the world as pay back and you feel completely justified in doing so!
I’ve been there too. There is a better way.
Self care happens BEFORE you give every ounce of yourself. In fact, it happens before you are even the slightest bit uncomfortable. And if you do it preventatively, you are FAR less likely to ever self medicate again.
Self medicating is trying to make yourself temporarily feel better at the expense of your health or well being. It’s like trying to fill your cup with an eye dropper while allowing everyone else to drink out of it! There’s never enough!
These are some examples of self medicating especially when done in excess:
- Gambling
- Drinking
- Drug use
- Sexual deviance
- Spending money aka retail therapy
- Going outside of your relationship
- Stealing / Lying
- Eating
If there is a chance that you’ll feel terrible after, you could get arrested, you could lose your job, relationship, or integrity, you are self medicating.
Self care is identifying your needs and meeting them in positive and healthy ways. It’s keeping your cup full and allowing others to have whatever flows over the edge.
Some examples of self care:
- Meditating
- Yoga or exercise
- Taking a walk
- Deep breathing / fresh outdoor air
- Visiting people you love
- Calling a lifeline: friend, coach, parent, etc.
- Body work: massage, facial, mani/pedi
- Taking a bath
- Trying something new / adventure
- Smiling (totally under-rated)
- Snuggles with a pet or loved one
- Cup of tea
- Reading a book / learning something new
When you take care of yourself, you teach others how to care for you too! You’ll feel better about any challenges that come your way, and you give other people permission to care for themselves as well… especially your kiddos who are watching and modeling everything you do!
Self care is not a luxury, it’s mandatory if you want to live your best, healthiest, and happiest life!
What is your favorite thing to do for self care? Comment below and let me know!
Follow our adventures on Instagram (@heatherparis) and Facebook!
With love, gratitude, and inspiration,
Heather Paris
607-269-7815
www.liveinspirednow.com
Email me: heather@liveinspirednow.com
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
Did you know that your brain was not designed to be quiet? It was designed to process…
“Why don’t animals have butt cracks? Should I punish my kid for lying? What should I make for dinner tonight? What the hell is that mark on my cheek??? Did she really just look at me that way? Crap I forgot to stop at the post office again!”
Have you ever noticed that your brain is always working? If it wasn’t…. well…. you know… you’d be dead.
So yea, you are NOT a failure if you can’t meditate. In fact, I bet you CAN actually meditate, and you probably have, you just don’t realize it!
You know those times when you are so deeply present with something? That’s meditation!!
For me, it’s painting rocks…. the world could end while I’m painting and I wouldn’t even notice. I’m so deep into my painting that nothing else phases me. I’m completely relaxed and shut everything else out… and it’s effortless. For a close friend of mine… it’s eating! lol
So if sitting in full lotus with your hands on your knees doesn’t work for you…. try relaxing your brain into a mundane yet fulfilling activity such as painting… or whatever works for you!
Your mind is doing exactly what it’s supposed to do… analyze your world, assess risk, and create safety plans. We don’t have dinosaurs trying to kill us anymore, but our brain is still watching for the danger! It’s trying to process a threat that is no longer credible… which is boring so your brain needs to create some drama in the form of worry, anxiety, fear, nervousness, etc!
Give your brain something to do instead such as mantra: repeating a word or phrase over and over, or by going deep into the activities that you enjoy!
See? Meditation is actually pretty easy after all! Again, your not silencing your mind, your just giving it something to do while you relax!
Hope you have a great week… I’m off to NYC for a college tour with my “baby.” Wow. I blinked and she’s 17. It happens… hug your kiddos and cherish each moment!
Follow our adventures on Instagram (@heatherparis) and Facebook!
With love, gratitude, and inspiration,
Heather Paris
607-269-7815
www.liveinspirednow.com
Email me: heather@liveinspirednow.com
Coaching is a holistic alternative to therapy. It’s fast, affordable, and highly effective! Just hit reply to this email if you’d like to know how coaching could help you or your family!
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
It may sound like a small thing but yesterday I impulsively decided to apply to be a vendor at an art festival selling my hand painted rocks!
Big hairy deal right?
Well impulsivity CAN be a big deal… if you don’t learn to manage it!
People, especially young people, have a need for adventure! Some more than others, but we ALL have the need.
Personally, my need for adventure is higher than most and when I was younger, I would sometimes meet that need in a negative way because I didn’t understand it or know how to meet my needs in healthier ways.
So impulsively spending money on clothes that I didn’t need, quitting a job, or getting in my car and driving to visit a friend 6 hours away on a whim was standard practice in my young life.
NOW… I’ve learned to take risks without being risky. I allow myself to be impulsive on things that hold little or no risk to my personal safety, stability, or integrity.
I cannot tell you how important it is to learn, or teach your kids, to be adventurous in a safer way!
Kids that need higher amounts of adventure are at high risk for getting involved in unhealthy activities like drugs, sexual encounters, gangs, disruptive behavior, and risky stunts, dares, or challenges if they aren’t directed to healthier choices!
Allow yourself or your children to be “adventurous” in ways that won’t risk personal safety, health, or happiness!
Some adventurous examples for kids might be snowboarding, zip lining, hiking, cutting school for a mom/son date day, or even just daring them to climb into the pillow bin at Walmart! Find ways to let them get their heart pounding, adrenaline racing, and laughing their butts off!
It’s good to engage in adventure from time to time!
So…. yes, I entered a festival as a rock painting “artist” and guess what? They accepted me! So now I get to spend the Summer painting rocks in preparation for the “Purple Painted Lady” festival in September and I couldn’t be more thrilled! It’s simply for the FUN of it… nothing more! If I don’t sell one single rock, I don’t even care… I’ll give them away for Christmas! lol. Painting is a source of meditation and relaxation for me and I’m happy to have any “excuse” to paint!
What can you do today to be a little impulsive in a healthy way? Hit reply to this email and let me know your adventure……
The Live Inspired Now Life Coach Training School is NOW OPEN for registration!!!
YOU can be the influence that changes lives for the better!
With your experience combined with the skills in this training, you will take your own personal growth to a new level, you will learn how to raise/teach emotionally resilient kids, and you’ll be able to apply all these strategies to your daily life!
If you find this content helpful, please share it! Sharing is inspiring!
With love, gratitude, and inspiration,
Heather Paris
www.liveinspirednow.com
Email me: heather@liveinspirednow.com
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
I hope you will join us from the comfort of your home for this one time only teleconference:
FIGHTING TO FUNCTIONAL: REDEFINE YOUR FAMILY:
In this online training, you will learn how to:
* Deal with your crazy ex spouse/partner
* Coach your kids through any difficulty such as bullying
* Raise kids that don’t fight with each other
* Communicate with your spouse so they respond positively
* Be a happier & more functional family
…….and more!!
This is not a “motivational” workshop! It’s a strategic workshop designed to be practical, educational, and fun too! You’ll be able to apply the skills you learn right away for immediate results.
** March 1, 2018, 8:30-10:00pm eastern.
** You will receive call in information after purchase.
** The cost is only $9.00! (Priced low to be affordable!)
** The call will be recorded in case you are not available at that time. The recording will be emailed the day after if you are registered.
If you find this content helpful, please share it! Sharing is inspiring!
Have a super week! Don’t forget to register for the upcoming 1 day relationship retreat at beautiful del Lago Resort and Casino in Waterloo, NY! ONLY 2 SPOTS REMAIN!!!!
“7 Principles For Making Marriage Work” at del Lago Resort and Casino in Waterloo, New York!!
We only have space for 3 more couples so if you are interested, act NOW!! Get more info here!!!
With love, gratitude, and inspiration,
Heather Paris
www.liveinspirednow.com
Email me: heather@liveinspirednow.com
Coaching is a holistic alternative to therapy. It’s fast, affordable, and highly effective! Just hit reply to this email if you’d like to know how coaching could help you or your family!
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
My son Harry told his friends….
“My Mom is a crazy bitch!”
…and it was the best lie he told!!
This may sound crazy, but it’s VITALLY important that you teach your kids to lie!
I know, I know! We teach them to tell the truth but in some cases, lying is better!
Listen, peer pressure is intense and kids need a way to handle it and lying to their friends can be an extremely effective way to get out of a difficult situation.
Come up with several great “lies” WITH your kids that they can use to help get them out of risky situations.
Here are a few examples:
- “No man, I’m not doing that, my mom is a crazy bitch and will kill my ass!”
- “Nahhh, I’m already high/drunk, I don’t want any more!”
- “I’m actually allergic to alcohol, I could die if I drink it. I can’t even take cough medicine.”
- “My dad texted, he’s picking me up early because I didn’t do my stupid chores!”
Peer pressure is incredibly powerful. Our kids need to know how to handle these difficult social situations and these little lies could save them in many ways!
Be sure to tell them that after they lie their way out of danger, they must call or text you immediately to get picked up from where they are!
Also, be sure to remind them that they will never get in any trouble for these types of lies and for being responsible enough to make a better choice than their friends!
Parenting is hard. NOT parenting is much harder… on you, on the kid, and on society! If you need help, please reach out to me today! DO NOT WAIT! Prevention is easier than intervention!!!
With love, gratitude, and inspiration,
Heather Paris
Email me: heather@liveinspirednow.com
Does your child have a “guardian angel?” Check out my latest book with beautiful illustrations done by MY guardian angel: “I Have A Guardian Angel” Order now to get it before Christmas!
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!