Yesterday I decided to enjoy my favorite drink, a chai latte, at my local Barnes and Noble bookstore. I knew that my book was there in the store and I thought it might be fun to get a picture of myself with the book while I was there. I wanted to ask an employee to take the picture for me but I couldn’t find one so I bravely asked a stranger. Yes, believe it or not, I am actually a little shy! Ask me to get up on stage in front of a crowded room; sure no problem! Ask me to approach a stranger in the bookstore and ask him to take my picture; totally out of my comfort zone!
I politely approached two men who were near my book and asked if they would kindly take my picture. The man in this picture, Daniel, was more than happy to take the picture for me. We talked about the book, he showed me a picture of his beautiful daughter, and then he purchased my book…. the last one on the shelf! He asked me to autograph it for him which I did, and I left the store feeling really awesome! I felt like a celebrity and it felt great! I was also thrilled that the store had sold out of my book! Later that day, a friend of mine went to the same store and she said they had put out more copies!
People often think I am so outgoing, and not afraid of anything. That is completely inaccurate. I am often very shy; I am an introvert and I am afraid of many things. I just spend a great deal of time OUTSIDE of my comfort zone. I never let fear prevent me from doing something and I practice being more extroverted. I know that the most exceptional things happen when I am challenged, so I don’t run from things. I just figure out how to make them work and I keep trying until it works. My book, my marriage, my kids, my work, and my life are all reflections of this attitude! Step outside of your comfort zone and create some exceptional things in your life and Live Inspired Now!
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
Dear Young Ladies,
Do you know what it means to “jump the gun”? This saying refers to a runner who starts the race before the starting gun fires. The runner is then dis-qualified and kicked out of the race for starting too early.
Would you take an opportunity to “jump the gun?”
What if someone offered you Christmas early? Would you take it? Say I could offer you Christmas today, months and months before anyone else. You would get great presents, yummy food, special attention, but you would be the only one. Then, when Christmas comes around for real, you would get nothing, and would not be able to participate. You would have to watch as others enjoyed the holiday together, without you. Would you take that if it were offered to you?
Ladies, we are often temped to engage in things too early. In fact, many of you will contemplate “jumping the gun” in your relationships. Many girls do this because it feels good to be “wanted” or “needed.” However, the truth is, that when you get too involved when you are too young, you risk jumping the gun on something that would be far more special if you waited to share it.
Having intimate relationships when you are in your early teens might get you attention now, but you will lose out in the long run. The attention you get now from a 13 year old boy will NEVER compare to that of a loving, committed man when you are older. Please don’t trade tomorrow’s happiness for today’s comfort.
You do NOT need a boyfriend to prove that you are worthy. You do NOT need someone to like you in order to like yourself. You do NOT need “likes” on your facebook selfie to prove you are pretty. You do NOT need to show your body to get attention. You are loving, caring, worthy, beautiful, smart, talented, funny, and impressive young ladies and you deserve the best… just because you are YOU! No matter what grades you get, no matter how many friends you have, no matter how many tweets get shared, no matter where you live, no matter what you look like, no matter your size… no matter what…. YOU MATTER!
So my dear young ladies, your time will come; don’t jump the gun. It is absolutely OK to like boys, to talk about boys, and to have age appropriate relationships. But avoid getting into sexual or intimate relationships too early. Wait and be excited about what’s to come when you get older, enjoy the milestones of your youth, make lasting friendships and Live Inspired Now.
PS: If you need help, please message me today! You can find me on facebook as Inspired Heather Paris, or you can email me at: heather@liveinspirednow.com. Even if you have “jumped the gun” in some area of your life, you can recreate your innocence. You are not broken, messed up, or damaged. Contact me for help and start thinking more highly of yourself… because YOU matter!
PPS: Parents, if you are concerned about your daughter, please reach out. I help young people learn self worth, self confidence, and self love. Don’t wait until it’s too late, get help now if your child is in crisis.
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
I spent years listening to the opinions and unsolicited advice of others about how to parent my children and I thought I would address some of these things here. Now, I never said anything in the past, maybe I should have, but I am saying it now in an effort to help other parents. Parents who listen to the barrage of opinions, advice, criticism, and judgements of others. Parents who quietly go about their business without ever saying anything yet feel hurt inside. Parents, like I was, who need encouragement and support, not fear and manipulation… from anyone!
Here are some of the things I endured from others. Does any of this sound familiar?
What is it about pregnancy that makes people crazy? Everyone seems to have an opinion on how to harm or kill your own baby. I was told not to put my arms up over my head or I would cause the umbilical cord to wrap around the baby’s neck. I was told what to eat, what not to eat, how to sleep, walk, and even work. My favorite by far though was the constant advice on how to feed my baby once she was born. I had half the population telling me that I was irresponsible and not giving my baby the best chances in life if I didn’t breast feed. Whilst the other half of the population, mostly family, telling me that breastfeeding was disgusting and an embarrassment. How was I to succeed?
The next hurdle came when I was to have a son. I do not believe in circumcision and so the obvious choice for me was not to have my child circumcised. This was clearly the worst offense I ever committed as a parent. I was berated, insulted, and even yelled at. Someone close to me actually told me that “one day your son will come to you as a teenager and tell you that he hates you for what you have done.” Wow, just wow.
Madison, my first child, was a bit of a wild one! She was fearless, spontaneous, and very strong willed. She was a handful and often I was told by friends and family to “hit her.” I was told that my discipline style was not severe enough and that she was sure to turn out like an uncontrollable monster who would most likely be “knocked up” by 16, if I didn’t “spank her ass.” Regrettably, once I did actually try spanking her little bottom which left me in tears, while thankfully, Madison was completely unscathed and unaffected by my attempt. I was told that clearly, I didn’t hit her hard enough. I never tried again.
I was also a terrible parent for teaching my children about “choices.” I used to use the phrases “that was not a good choice” or “it’s your choice, but there are consequences,” as opposed to “your bad!” To the “choice” comments, I was told that kids don’t have choices, it was up to ME to make their choices, and I was giving them too much control, and my approach was “stupid.”
I also made it safe for my kids to talk to me… about ANYTHING. So while their friends were sometimes engaging in really risky behavior, our house was the safe zone. Our house was the place where kids could come and speak with “another Mother” (me) who would help and encourage without the judgement and ridicule. For the safe haven I offered, I often had a target on my back. Not many people, especially friends and family, want to offer you praise or thanks for doing the job they couldn’t.
I am here to tell you my children have turned out wonderfully. Now, not all of them are full grown and out of the house yet, so I supposed they could still hate me someday, but I am going to go ahead and take a chance to say that they have turned out awesome! Madison is 19, in the Air Force, and happy. I am happy to say she wasn’t “knocked up” at 16, nor did she sprout horns and become a demon. Harry is happy, successful, creative, and he likes me. Carrie seems to make really good “choices,” and is a very compassionate child. I have applied all of my “horrible parenting techniques” to my step children as well, and they love me too.
So my dear readers, parents, friends, family, and others: Don’t listen to the negative offerings of others. Don’t let someone else scare you into parenting in a way that you don’t agree with. Don’t let the hurtful words of others convince you to do something you think is wrong. Please follow your own hearts, heads, and higher selves. Surround yourself with people who inspire, encourage, and offer support. Believe me when I say that it WILL all work out. Do your best, love your children, never compromise yourself or your kids and Live Inspired Now.
PS: Would you like to learn more about my work with kids, both my own, and the kids I work with? My book ‘Live Inspired Now: A Field Guide For Happiness’ is full of great stories, life lessons, and quick tips about everything from parenting, to relationships, to finding your perfect mate, and more! Get an autographed copy right here on my site! Happy New Year Friends! 🙂
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
Unexpressed emotions lead to anger. Anger turns to resentment. Resentment kills relationships. People come to me all the time saddled with heavy emotional baggage that they have been carrying around for far too many years. Their relationships are suffering and they feel angry all the time but, don’t really know why. People use anger as a “go to” emotion for a multitude of reasons. Often times, this is because they don’t feel safe expressing sadness; they think it is a weakness. Or, because they don’t want to say something and “rock the boat.”
In order to maintain long term, happy relationships, you must make time to express your true feelings. I would add, that you must allow your partner to feel safe enough to be completely honest. Feelings or emotions that go unresolved will always lead to resentment if you don’t find an outlet to discharge. Talk open and honestly with the people in your life, if you don’t feel safe enough to do that, then perhaps you should re-think the relationship.
For example:
Your spouse makes a rude comment that they thought was funny and not meant to be hurtful.
It hurts your feelings but you say nothing.
The spouse learns (by your silence) that this is an acceptable way to joke and continues.
With every joke you feel more sad, hurt, targeted, isolated, frustrated, until it all turns to anger.
You are re-stimulated and remember ALL the rude comments every person ever made to you.
Your anger becomes overwhelming until you lash out.
A fight ensues (usually with a topic other than the original comment).
This could have been avoided if you expressed that your feelings were hurt by the first rude comment.
For example:
Your spouse makes a rude comment that they thought was funny and not meant to be hurtful.
It hurts your feelings and you express it: “I know you didn’t mean to, but that comment actually hurt my feelings.”
Your spouse gets the opportunity to apologize and make things right.
Expressing your feelings before they turn into anger is the key! You might not always get the response you wish for in exchange for your openness, but you will be able to leave the baggage behind you and know that you didn’t let yourself down by failing to acknowledge your feelings. When you express your feelings, you unconsciously acknowledge and validate yourself as a person of worth.
So today, don’t let emotions go unexpressed. Boost your self worth, strengthen your relationships by saying what you feel, and Live Inspired Now!
PS: There is an entire chapter in my book about discharging emotions and leaving the BS baggage behind! Buy an autographed copy today…. on the right hand side of this page!
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
I am all for “being yourself,” and being true to who you are. However, if you are having a hard time connecting with people, or maintaining relationships, then perhaps there are some personality tweaks that you can make that might help people relate to you better. Sometimes, we put people off without even realizing it and by following these helpful tips you will notice a big difference in your interactions. People may be more drawn to you, or perhaps long time friends will notice a real change in your energy and how they feel when they are around you! Give these a try and create deeper relationships with people in your life!
9 Ways To Be More Likeable:
1 Like yourself! If you don’t put much value in who you are, neither will anyone else. Take care of yourself, your health, and your surroundings. No one will ever treat you worse than you treat yourself. You set the standard for what you accept, be sure you have a high enough standard!
2 Get your attitude in check grumpy! People do not like to be around someone who is always angry, cranky, or complaining about things… well except other people who are angry, cranky, or always complaining. Gratitude is one of the best ways to get rid of the grumpies. Focus on the things you have to be grateful for, start with waking up today and go through a list of all your blessings.
3 Chill out and allow other people to manage their own lives! I know, I know…. other people are doing things that annoy you, or they are doing things wrong and you know how to fix them. Well guess what? It is NOT your responsibility so let it go! How much easier would your life become if you only had to worry about living your life and not others? Let other people experience and learn from their own journey.
4 Compliment others and appreciate a job well done! If you notice someone doing a good job, take a moment to compliment them. People are drawn to others who make them feel good. Make time to recognize even small things… a co-worker’s new haircut, or a child’s completed project. Say something nice!
5 Smile! You don’t have to plaster a fake smile on that never comes off. Just smile when someone walks by. If you are the type of person where people are always asking you “what’s wrong,” then you may just need to smile more. You might be perfectly content but your body language is sending different signals. Make an effort to smile at people so they know you are approachable.
6 Listen! Too many people think about what they are going to say next rather than actually listening. People like to be truly heard, so truly listen! You don’t always have to “solve” the problem, just show you care by being fully present and listening to the other person.
7 Don’t gossip! Everyone knows, if you talk about other people, you will also talk about me when I walk away. Nobody likes a gossip so don’t say anything about another person that you wouldn’t say in front of that person.
8 Don’t take that tone! It is not just what you say, but how you say it.Take note of how you use your voice. Do you sound sarcastic, annoyed, indifferent, mad, or unsure? The words mean far less than the tone you use to say it.
9 Love who you are with! People like people who like people! If you genuinely like the people you are with, it will show. If you can’t like them, at least find some common ground that you can appreciate. Maybe you can appreciate that you like the same football team, or that you have kids that are similar ages. You can always find something to appreciate if you just take the time to notice.
Relationships are the most important factor to a quality life, so be sure to have quality relationships. Try to connect with more people on a deeper level and Live Inspired Now!
PS: Don’t forget to get my book ‘Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness’ today! It’s autographed, it’s awesome, and it’s going to change your life!
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
