Often, when in the midst of chaos, it is difficult to imagine that good things could result from bad but they do. There will always be “bad” things that happen; give it enough time and you will be able to see the bigger picture. Life is a journey of discovery, learning, joy, sorrow, and a compilation of relationships. Don’t get so caught up in the day to day events that you miss the excitement of each new step along your journey. You will have fortune and misfortune, relationships that come and go, jobs lost then jobs gained, and friends that will leave to make room for new friends. Never be so distracted by unfortunate events that you lose faith in the journey because the one thing that is universal it that life goes on. So today, make peace with what is, make the very most of the journey and Live Inspired Now!
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
One of the biggest complaints I hear about is that people cannot rest, especially at night because they have non stop thoughts racing through their head. Here are some tips to calm your mind and get some rest.
1. Break the habit by using an abrupt halt: Slap your hand on a table or give yourself a slap on your upper arm and tell yourself sharply to STOP. This will break your pattern, do it as often as necessary.
2. Distract yourself by changing what you are thinking about. Have a couple of “go to” thoughts that you can distract yourself with. Something funny or a very happy memory are the best.
3. Schedule a time later to think about whatever is bothering you. This gives yourself permission to put it off til later without just trying to “forget about it.”
4. Ground yourself in the present moment. Take an inventory of your immediate physical surroundings to bring yourself to where you are at the moment. IE: I am in my bed, I have my green blanket on me, it feels warm, I hear the dog snoring, I can smell a vanilla candle and I am OK right now in this moment.
5. Question yourself then develop better thoughts. Ask yourself if this is something that you can control. If it is, you can come up with solutions or ask for help and schedule a time to do so. If it is out of your control, then ask yourself why you continue to think about it and is there a better way to look at the situation. For example: If you are thinking over and over about a rejection, ask yourself what this really means. You might be thinking “She doesn’t like me, she refuses to go out with me, I am a complete loser. I will never find happiness.” Is this really true? Offer evidence to the contrary: “I am NOT a loser just because one person doesn’t want to go out with me. I have had relationships in the past and I have very good friends and family that care about me. She may not want to date me but that just means she is not the right one. I will focus on being happy and living a great life and the right person will come in time!”
6. Hire an excellent coach! Not everyone will be able to do #5 on their own. Sometimes it is hard to remember all the amazing things about yourself when you are hurting. Hiring a good life coach will help you see the reality of a situation and get you through the challenges. It is always good to have a professional guide you through these types of things and you will LOVE the results!
So today, don’t be a victim of your own mind. Get some relief from your thoughts, be free, rest well and Live Inspired Now!
Contact me today if you need support getting through challenges… you will LOVE the results!
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
Many times clients come to see me carrying burdens that aren’t even their own. Burdens they are carrying from parents or spouses or sometimes even from television or media. It is possible to become vicariously traumatized by another person’s story. It is hard enough to carry your own problems around, let alone the problems of the world. You don’t have to be in control of everything because, in fact, you are not. You don’t have to carry around problems, you can let them go and move forward. Free yourself of heavy burdens by learning to release yourself from their constraints. You will not believe how much lighter and happier you will feel.
I personally used to carry around the weight of the world. I felt everybody’s pain and felt obligated not to forget about it. I am not exactly sure how I had become this way but I will never forget the moment I realized that I could let go. I was sitting in my living room many years ago and I was upset about something that had happened years before. I caught myself focusing on this one horrible world event so I decided to meditate to try and clear my mind. My meditation turned into contemplation and as I contemplated, I questioned myself. I challenged myself by asking the question “Why are you still allowing a memory to control you? Why are you losing the joy of today to the sorrow of yesterday?” This contemplation made me realize that I was robbing myself of moving forward and feeling good because I had let myself focus on something that time had already taken care of.
I felt so overwhelmed and free that I cried. It was amazing to just simply realize that I didn’t have to hold myself accountable for all the wrongs in the world and that I could feel bad momentarily but then decide to move on. It is extremely tiring to carry a never ending burden and there is no reward for that type of martyrdom.
So today, think about the “burdens” you are carrying and determine whether they are even yours or not. Then think about stepping aside and letting them go. What is the price of letting go? What is the bigger price of continuing to hold on? Let go, move forward and Live Inspired Now!
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
This past week a young person I know contacted me and asked if I would coach him. I know this young person and know that he has a supportive family so I told him that I was definitely open to it but his parents would have to contact me to set things up. I have worked with a few teens without talking with their parents but ONLY because I knew the parents to be very abusive. I would never turn a child away who needs help despite their family situation. However, if the child has a parent/parents in their lives, then the parent should be consulted and made aware of your interactions. Parents should never be undermined and family should always be highly regarded. If you have a young person in your life that looks up to you, don’t “get in good” with them by insulting or undermining their parents. A family is important to children and again, unless they are being abused, the family should be put first. If a young person confides something in you that could be risky or dangerous to them, the parents should be told immediately. Parents need to be given the opportunity to support and help their kids. Adults should be mature enough to speak with the parents and explain the situation, instead of keeping secrets with the child. It won’t do a child any good for an “adult” that they trust to not make the hard decision to consult the parents. In fact, it will only promote further bad behavior because the “adult secret keeper” is actually validating the bad behavior by keeping the secret.
All kids will make bad decisions at some point, and most kids will assume their parents are going to “kill them,” but that is just not the case. Good parents will give consequences and deal with the problems and will continue to love their kids…. even when they are angry.
So today, if you have a young person in your life that is “telling” you things, encourage them to talk to their parents. If it something risky, let the parents know what is going on. Never undermine a child’s family by talking badly about the kids parents. Put parents and family first, encourage kids, and empower parents by supporting the entire family and Live Inspired Now!
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
10 Ways To Build Self-Confidence:
1- Avoid perfectionism. Perfectionism is actually the lowest possible standard one can have because it is unattainable. Nobody is perfect, don’t bother trying. Do your best and then celebrate what you have done. Nobody likes to see you complaining about how imperfect your cupcakes are, especially when they are enough to make Martha Stewart proud! You can self deprecate too much!
2- Dress up and feel great. Wear the outfit that is going to make you feel great! You know… the jeans that make your butt look amazing or the power suit that makes you feel very professional. Whatever it is, put it on and wear it like a cloak of confidence!
3- Smile. Your brain takes cues from your facial expressions and creates emotions to go along with it. Smile and your brain thinks you are happy and at ease. Smile even if you don’t mean it and soon you will mean it! (And a smile is the prettiest accessory you can wear!)
4- Practice makes perfect, you will feel more confident if you know your stuff. Practice, practice and practice some more! Giving a speech… practice in your car every chance you get. Nervous about making phone calls…. practice and role play with friends. Have a friend reject you over and over and get good at laughing about it! Rejection happens sometimes, so what, get past it and move on!
5- Compliment other people and make them feel good. You will have more confidence when you make others feel good. They will also regard you more for being such a nice person!
6- Use your body confidently. Stand up tall, don’t slouch, work out, walk faster, move your hands away from your body and spread your fingers apart. Don’t be clenched up or tighten your muscles, relax and don’t cross your arms. Good body language gives you more confidence and makes you more approachable to other people.
7- Give to others. You can never feel bad if you are doing good for others. You don’t have to give just money, give of your time or resources too. Volunteer, help others, get involved in a cause and find a way to make a difference in others lives. It will make you feel great and help you to become more self actualized as opposed to self focused.
8- Get up front, put yourself in front of others. Sit in the front row, walk to the front of a room, stand where everyone can see you, don’t be afraid to walk up to others. Or even if you are afraid, do it anyway. It is perfectly OK to be nervous, but don’t let the nerves keep you from your networking event, or from seeing your favorite speaker because you hid in the back of the room.
9- Pump yourself up with loud music or positive audio books. I use 80’s rock to get me going but use whatever makes you feel great! (You can’t go wrong with Prince or Guns N Roses… just sayin’.)
10- Get a cheering section. Know who your friends are, let them know what you are doing and ask for their support! Most friends want to see you succeed so ask them to “wish you luck, cross their fingers or cheer you on!” Also, talk about how you are feeling. Let them know that you are nervous and could use their support. Acknowledging your true feelings makes them less powerful and easier to get past! Also, focus on past successes and things you do well, to remind yourself that you know how to be successful and to encourage more confidence!
Build your confidence and Live Inspired Now!
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
