“Hey Heather,
My parents and friends don’t like my boyfriend. They supported me when we broke up but I wish they could be equally supportive now that we are back together. He really is a great guy and it was my fault that we broke up; but, my friends blame him for cheating when he actually didn’t. I was really pissed that he was talking to this one girl I can’t stand. He was not cheating at all, but my friends and parents won’t believe me now. How can I convince them that he is the man I love and that they need to be supportive because he is the man I am going to be with?” -Young, in love, and unsupported
Dear Young, in love, and unsupported, Oops… I meant to say: Dear Liar,
I hear this often from people who are addicted to drama. They spend their entire relationship “relating” their business to anyone who will listen rather than focusing on giving to their partner and building a loving relationship. Your friends and family are not light switches. They cannot turn their “like” on and off. You lied so well about your boyfriend that you convinced everyone he was bad. Now you are feeling “unsupported” because they won’t buy into the new version of your story? How supported do you think this poor guy feels? He is dating a girl who talks badly about him, accuses him of doing things he hasn’t done, and then expects to control the feelings of others with her lies. My dear, you don’t need support, you need to stop lying and creating drama! If he is such a great guy, people will see that. But you best beware… if he is such a great guy, HE will also see who YOU are. Never lie about your relationship to “get people on your side” because lies always have a way of coming around to bite you. If you really want this relationship to have a prayer, start by fessing up to your lies, cut the drama, and start focusing on being a good girlfriend. BE the type of person you would want to be in a relationship with, and stop trying to control other people.
Sorry to be so harsh my dear, but I guarantee if you follow my advice, you will see ALL of your relationships start to improve! You are worthy of love and happiness, but you will never find it in deception. Open your heart and be vulnerable, and trust people to love you for who you are, without trying to manipulate or control them, and Live Inspired Now!
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
Kids are born with everything they need to grow into confident, self-assured, well-rounded adults…. yet self-esteem is gravely lacking in our culture. Why? Because we teach kids to ignore everything they are naturally born with.
We teach them to seek approval rather than to self advocate. We teach them that their needs are less important than others. We teach them to compromise their own feelings. And worst of all, we teach them to self loathe by the examples we set.
We should not be teaching kids to get validation for their self-worth from a gold star sticker. They are good and worthy just because they exist, yet we teach them that their only worth is when the parents or teachers are pleased with them.
Then, we teach them to “share” their toys, and “be fair,” which is completely contrary to real life. Yes, we want to teach kids generosity and compassion, but not at the expense of their own feelings or happiness. You don’t share your house, car, or shiny new tractor with people, so don’t expect your child to share their favorite toy either. If it’s special, they may not want to share it. Teach them instead to share their time with others because THEY are what’s special… not the toy.
Things are not always “fair” in life, they aren’t supposed to be. Teaching kids to be “fair” is actually only training them to be “entitled!” Entitled kids grow up to think they deserve things, and that they shouldn’t have to work for what they have. They end up living in your basement when they are 30 with nothing but a million excuses as to why “life isn’t fair” and is holding them back!
And finally, we teach kids to self loathe because that is what we mirror for them. Kids are completely in love with themselves when they are small. They love to see themselves in mirrors, they make silly faces at themselves, they smile, laugh, and dance without a care in the world. They don’t care who is watching, nor do they care what anyone thinks. Until they see Mom or Dad become embarrassed, or Mom and Dad tells them to “stop because everyone is watching.” Or the child stands and watches Mom poke her own fat in the mirror and talk about how disgusting she is. Or the child hears Dad say “Keep your voice down, I don’t want anyone to think we are losers.” There are millions of examples of how we teach our kids to dim their own light. The best thing we can do to counteract this is to model better behavior. Kids will hate or love themselves, just as much as we do! Do them a favor and love yourself, respect yourself, hold yourself in much higher esteem!
Our society, in general doesn’t promote self-esteem. Isn’t it time for a change? Especially since we are already born with esteem and we go out of our way to wreck it! Let’s stop doing that! Let’s start to raise the standard of confidence, worth, respect, altruism, and self-esteem in our society! Let’s start by not removing these inherent traits in our young people. Let’s model good behavior, raise the standard, and Live Inspired Now!
Learn to raise healthy, happy, well adjusted kids who lead and succeed!! Join the Live Inspired Now Coach Training here!!
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
“Man is so made that when anything fires his soul, impossibilities vanish.” ~Jean de la Fontaine
With passion, anything is possible! And the best part is that not only is it possible, but passion is the fuel needed to keep a dream alive until it becomes a reality! People are always searching for “motivation” but what they really need is passion. If you are not motivated to do something, you probably aren’t very passionate about it. Pursue things that set your soul on fire! Things that you would do for free, just because you love it! Things that bring great joy to you or others. Things that just make you feel awesome!
I started my blog about 4 years ago as a creative outlet that would allow me to use my authentic voice, and that passion has never left me. In fact, it has grown bigger, and to the point where I have actually pulled back from it on purpose! lol. Now I blog only about 3 times per week rather than 7, so I can dedicate more time to writing for other things. I NEVER thought I would ever see my writing in print but my passion won out and my writing is now in newsprint, magazines, and online publications. It is like a dream come true, and it was all fueled by passion!
Passion and inspiration are the most potent ingredients for success! Whatever you are doing, whether in your work, or your philanthropic endeavors, let passion be your fuel. In relationships as well, be passionate about your partner and enjoy a relationship that will last forever! Live with passion, pursue that which sets you ablaze, and Live Inspired Now!
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
No matter how many times I see this picture, it ALWAYS inspires me! It reminds me that you just never know how close you are, so don’t give up! This week I started working out again. I am a little sore but feeling great about doing what I need to do to stay healthy and fit. The past few weeks I have been focusing on “lightening up.” Not physically lighter, but mentally. I have always had a tendency to strive for personal perfection, and in the past few years I have been working on not trying to be perfect, rather just trying to be me! But as we all know… old habits die-hard sometimes, so I am working on it again. Yes, it’s true, I am NOT perfect, nor should I try to be!
Even us coaches have to work on our own personal growth and development and I am working on remembering to go easy on myself. I don’t have to be a perfect parent, a perfect partner, or a perfect anything! I can just be me, and that is enough! Not only is it enough, it’s exceptional! Ahhh…. the relief of letting go and being free. Yesterday I posted this on Facebook: “Nobody expects you to be perfect, so stop expecting that of yourself!”
Don’t aim for perfection, just go for being yourself. Do the best you can and don’t give up because you are closer than you think, and Live INSPIRED now! (Notice I said INSPIRED, not perfect!)
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
So many people, walking around day in and day out, without a clue of who they are, what they like, or what they want. Don’t be a zombie. Discover YOURSELF. Look deeply into your own soul, ask it some questions, listen to the responses, and make changes as needed. I can’t tell you how many times in my life I have continued to do something that was displeasing, only because I was used to doing it. Or how long I stayed in relationships that were devastating only because I didn’t know what else to do. Who want’s to live like that…. I sure didn’t! I changed, you can too!
Wake up now, do NOT ignore INSPIRATION…. it is everywhere! It is a cliché’ post on Facebook, it is a smile from a stranger, it is a joke that wasn’t funny but made you laugh, it is a realization, it is a cold day that reminds you to be grateful for your warmth, it is really noticing the sun setting, it is silence that makes you finally hear what others are saying…. inspiration is in every moment if you allow yourself to discover it. What messages are you seeing over and over again, and why are you ignoring them?
I love this quote: “One may understand the cosmos, but never the ego; the self is more distant than any star.” ~G.K. Chesterton To me, it speaks volumes! People understand everything but themselves. Invest some time in self-discovery and self-awareness so you can truly enjoy life, and live with ease. Chaos, unhappiness, unrest, stress, and misery SUCK! Choose inspiration, practice self discovery, and Live INSPIRED Now!
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!