I get this question often, “When should I speak up, and when should I just mind my own business?”
In fact, I often wonder that myself. As a coach, I’m almost always ready to jump in to help but is it always my business to do so?
I’ve discovered a sure fire way to know 100% of the time when you should speak up versus butting out….
Just ask!
I have adult children, so the opportunity to impart my own wisdom comes up often when I see my child struggling but I’ve learned that offering unsolicited advice is the best way to get someone to ignore it!
So now, I just ask if they want my help/advice/opinion.
If they say yes, then I give them my input.
If they say no, I leave it alone but let them know they are welcome to come to me if they need me.
During a conversation with my friend Carol (who inspired this post) she told me that someone once said to her, “You can listen to me with your head or your heart.”
I think that is a brilliant statement and I’ve tweaked it a little to use when you have to deliver UNsolicited advice because let’s face it, sometimes we just have to intervene:
“You can listen to me with your ego or your heart, but please know that I am giving my opinion because I care about you and wish the best for you.”
Your unsolicited advice will be more well received if you make your intentions clear in the beginning.
I can’t tell you how many kids believe their parents give advice to make their lives miserable and not because they actually care. Let them know you care!
Remember, the best advice is advice that is welcomed! 🙂
If you find this content helpful, please share it! Sharing is inspiring!
Have a super week! Don’t forget to register for the upcoming 1 day relationship retreat at beautiful del Lago Resort and Casino in Waterloo, NY!
“7 Principles For Making Marriage Work” at del Lago Resort and Casino in Waterloo, New York!!
We only have space for 3 more couples so if you are interested, act NOW!! Get more info here!!! Or hit reply to this email!
With love, gratitude, and inspiration,
Heather Paris
www.liveinspirednow.com
Email me: heather@liveinspirednow.com
Coaching is a holistic alternative to therapy. It’s fast, affordable, and highly effective! Just hit reply to this email if you’d like to know how coaching could help you or your family!
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
Imagine, your child is freakin’ out. You’re on your last nerve…….
You lose your shit, start yelling and now instead of controlling the situation, you have a crying child, your blood pressure is sky rocketing, and your re-thinking this whole “parenting” crap that seemed so rewarding! lol.
What can you do in those moments instead of screaming, yelling, or freaking out???
Get really quiet!
Turn off all the noise boxes (TV, radio, computer) and sit quietly in the center of the chaos. Your kiddo will get confused and want to know what’s going on. Calmly and with a whisper say “It’s quiet time.”
If he freaks out or starts yelling, simply say in a very quiet voice, “I’m sorry, I can’t hear you when you speak that loudly.” Once he quiets down, then respond!
A little twist on this is that if your child is ever disrespectful to you, you can also say “I’m sorry, I can’t hear you when you speak to me that way.” Do not respond until their tone is appropriate! This works on older kids too!
It’s definitely counter intuitive to get quiet when you feel the call to yell but let’s face it… the only thing yelling does is stress YOU out and adds more noise to an already chaotic situation.
Try something new, get quiet! Remember to be a tiny pebble!
When standing by the waters edge, if someone chucks in a boulder, you automatically run to avoid the splash, but if someone throws in a tiny pebble, you lean it to watch the ripples.
Have a super week! Don’t forget to register for the upcoming 1 day relationship retreat at beautiful del Lago Resort and Casino in Waterloo, NY!
“7 Principles For Making Marriage Work” at del Lago Resort and Casino in Waterloo, New York!!
We only have space for 3 more couples so if you are interested, act NOW!! Get more info here!!! Or hit reply to this email!
With love, gratitude, and inspiration,
Heather Paris
www.liveinspirednow.com
Email me: heather@liveinspirednow.com
Coaching is a holistic alternative to therapy. It’s fast, affordable, and highly effective! Just hit reply to this email if you’d like to know how coaching could help you or your family!
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
Happily Ever After Starts Here…
Get the practical tools and insights you need for a strong relationship that’s built-to-last.
The 7 Principles Workshop, taught by Gottman Leaders Thad & Heather Paris, is a fun, must-have class for seriously dating, engaged, and married couples and is based on 40+ years of groundbreaking relationship research!
Who Should Attend?
– Dating couples
– Premarital
– Everyone from newlyweds to seniors
– Those who wish to enhance a good marriage
– Those needing better relationship conflict management tools
– LGBTQ couples welcome
The Seven Principles Program includes lectures and private couple exercises.
**Participants will not share their personal problems in front of others.**
Registration includes a copy of the best-selling book and all required training materials. Cost: $299 per couple.
Light refreshments provided with extensive meal options available in the casino during meal break. Book a room and stay over and make it a whole date weekend experience!
Register now- space is very limited!
“7 Principles For Making Marriage Work” at del Lago Resort and Casino in Waterloo, New York!!
We only have space for 3 more couples so if you are interested, act NOW!! Get more info here!!! Or email us Heather@liveinspirednow.com!
With love, gratitude, and inspiration,
Heather Paris
www.liveinspirednow.com
Email me: heather@liveinspirednow.com
Coaching is a holistic alternative to therapy. It’s fast, affordable, and highly effective! Just hit reply to this email if you’d like to know how coaching could help you or your family!
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
If you NEVER said this again, you’d be happier and so would everyone else…
“Should.”
“You should….”
“I should…”
“He should have…”
Stop should-ing all over the place! Let’s face it, people don’t like being told what they should do. So when your best friend, or your spouse, or one of your kids needs advice or guidance leave the “should” out of it.
Instead try…
“If it were me, I might….”
“It’s up to you but you may want to consider…”
“What have you tried/considered so far?”
These types of statements offer support without judgment or condescension AND they empower the other person to come up with their own solutions!
And this will make you a rockstar communicator! 🙂
OMG…. I almost forgot!!! Guess what Thad and I have coming up in March?? A one day relationship retreat called “7 Principles For Making Marriage Work” at del Lago Resort and Casino in Waterloo, New York!!
We only have space for 3 more couples so if you are interested, act NOW!! Get more info here!!! Or hit reply to this email!
With love, gratitude, and inspiration,
Heather Paris
www.liveinspirednow.com
Email me: heather@liveinspirednow.com
Coaching is a holistic alternative to therapy. It’s fast, affordable, and highly effective! Just hit reply to this email if you’d like to know how coaching could help you or your family!
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!