Hey Everyone! Look at me… I’m “vlogging!” Thad and I are working on a whole new updated website which will include videos as well. We hope to launch the site within the next two weeks! My son Harry is going to produce my videos and make them look all fancy and professional, but I did today’s video myself using my computer. I hope you enjoy it, and disregard the shine on my face from my sunny office window! lol.
Enjoy, and Live Inspired Now!
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
Indecision does not have to cause anxiety. Take a step back, take a deep breath, give yourself a moment, and then make a decision. I watch people become frantic all the time… in line at the grocery store or at the coffee counter, or even when trying to decide which way to go while driving. People just start to freak out a little because they don’t know what they want, and you can see the anxiety start to rush over them. They might get red, start breathing more shallow, self deprecate, and then they might even take out their anxiety on whomever is close by. I have seen parents yell at their kids, or angrily grab their kids because they are starting to feel overwhelmed by the decision making process.
It’s true that other people may get irritated that they have to wait behind you, but that doesn’t mean you have to let their impatience or rudeness influence you. If you are in a line and get completely overwhelmed you have a couple of options.
1 Step out of line, gather yourself, make your decision, then get back in line. NO, nobody is looking at you and thinking you’re weird. NO, nobody is judging you because you couldn’t make a decision. NO, you don’t have to leave the store and never come back. The truth is, nobody cares…. they are all too busy thinking about themselves to notice that you stepped out of the line and are taking a break by the condiment counter.
2 Stay in the line, take a deep breath, give yourself a moment, then make your decision. It is OK, to take a moment to decide something. While it might be true that you have someone rude in line behind you who might roll their eyes, or huff loudly, you can choose to ignore them, and be in control of YOU! Chances are, most people are probably just waiting patiently and really not noticing you at all.
Today, don’t let the anxiety of indecision effect your day. Have self compassion and allow yourself to relax. Let other people worry about their own impatience, it’s not your problem. Be patient and kind to yourself and Live Inspired Now!
PS: Social anxiety can feel overwhelming but it doesn’t have to be. Contact me today for some solutions! Also, check out my book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness! Don’t wait for happiness… create it!
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
You might have participated in team building exercises at work, but what about doing some team building at home? This weekend I had my kids do a fun project together and they loved it! I told the kids that they just inherited an island and they were the new government. Here are the tasks they had to complete:
1 Name the island
2 Design a license plate
3 Design a flag
4 Choose a national bird, and flower
5 Write a national anthem
6 Appoint one another to government offices
7 Create laws
The rules were these:
1 You must ALL participate, and no one may be excluded.
The kids had a great time coming up with jobs and tasks, and they really loved the creativity aspect. They all participated without “taking over” for one another, and allowed input from all members.
Ethan wrote and sang the national anthem. Carrie drew and colored a license plate, Mattie and Harry took senior roles and helped to manage the tasks. They all created the laws together, and even drew a schematic of the island and plan to create a 3 dimensional model. It was a lot of fun and Thad and I enjoyed watching them all work together. We were quite surprised that they created very traditional type laws, as we were expecting “Ice cream for dinner” laws, or perhaps “A pony for every household.”
If you are struggling with children that don’t get along with one another, this might be one exercise that can help create bonds. Encouraging group activity and team building can have a big impact on siblings. Just remember to never use “time together” as a punishment. For example, never make one child play with another as punishment, it shows the child that their sibling is nothing more than a consequence of bad behavior and is sure to make them resentful of one another. Try some fun team/sibling/family building activities and Live Inspired Now!
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
This is a topic that I find myself discussing a great deal with clients, especially females. It is important to keep the roles as adult partners with one another in a relationship, rather than falling into a parent/child scenario with your spouse.
Many years ago I learned that there are 3 people who could be present in any romantic relationship, and that understanding these roles was the best way to create change so that people could start to have more meaningful and loving relationships with one another. Here are the 3 roles and their functions:
PARENT: the person who assumes the role of taking care of the other spouse, helping them, doing things for them, and treating their spouse like a child. The parent enjoys the control but often becomes resentful of having to do everything and wishes for a more proactive partner. They may see their spouse as incapable, inept, or unmotivated. And yet, they wish they were more able to let go of things themselves. The parent often feels resentful, or of elevated importance, and most often “plays the martyr”.
CHILD: the person who takes on the role of being incapable of doing things, expecting the spouse to look out for them, and refusing to take responsibility for their own actions or behaviors. They want their needs met with little concern for meeting the needs of their spouse. They may see the spouse as controlling, over bearing, or smarter and better able to take care of the family. The child often feels attacked, or entitled, and most often “plays the victim”.
ADULT: the person in the relationship who sees all parties as valuable and works with the partner to make the family function well. They are strong and confident about what they know, yet are not afraid to admit when they need help or don’t know something. They like to work with their partner to meet each others needs, as well as the needs of the kids or family. They communicate effectively, without blame or shame, and they listen well to their partners. They admit faults or indiscretions, and work to make amends. They prioritize the family, and are accountable for their actions.
An adult partner is not typically successful in a relationship with someone playing the role of child or parent because it goes against the adults values to “enable the victim mentality of the child partner” or to succumb to the “martyrdom of a parent partner.”
Knowing is half the battle. No man wants to be married to his mother and spend his life with someone telling him what to do, what to eat, and how to think. At the same time, no woman wants to be married to her child and spend her life wishing he would help around the house, make a decision, or take responsibility for his actions. It’s exhausting living in a relationship that is out of alignment like that. If you are having challenges in your relationship, discuss these roles with your partner and see how you both might take steps to becoming “adult partners” and Live Inspired Now!
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
I read this quote today: “To give your sheep or cow a large, spacious meadow is the way to control him.” by Shunryu Suzukiand, and it got me thinking about freedom, and how we allow ourselves to become enslaved by mediocrity but we are tricked into thinking we are free.
If you give people just enough to think they are free, you will control them! Don’t fall into the trap! Don’t be a slave to mediocrity. Having 100 television channels and eating out at Applebees is not the “good life!” Buying expensive gadgets that you can’t afford is not the good life. Letting someone else pay you a meager stipend so you don’t have to work is not the good life. Distracting yourself with tabloid drama and gossip is not the good life.
The good life begins when you can feel good about yourself and your choices, and you take responsibility for both! The good life is when you don’t let the media trick you into buying things that you don’t need. It’s when you eat real, quality food, not mass produced garbage from a brightly colored, cookie cutter franchise. It’s when you get a job or start a business that you love, and you get paid for doing what you are passionate about. It’s when you are so involved in your own exciting life that you don’t have time to care about what fake Hollywood celebrities are naming their babies. It’s when your book collection is bigger than your television. It’s when you have a passion-filled, loving, relationship with someone you love and adore.
The government, the media, politicians, companies, and the like want to keep you fat, dumb, and mediocre. They profit if you buy their goods, vote for them, or stay imprisoned in the welfare system. Break free for real! Educate yourself, stop watching television, go outside, take a trip, discover someplace new, eat healthy foods, get a new job, start a business, write a book, volunteer, avoid the news, laugh, go on an adventure, be playful, try something new, improve your relationship, spend time with your family, and don’t settle for mediocrity! Take control of your own life!
Get out from under the thumb of the internet, the television, politicians, or anything else that trys to convince you what to buy, who to vote for, or what you should look like. Did you know that women in particular spend $426 billion dollars per year just on beauty products? We could eradicate hunger and poverty if women would stop letting the media convince them to look younger, thinner, and more beautiful. Don’t buy the lie. You already possess everything you need to live an inspired, fun filled, loving, and happy life!
Today, invest in YOU! Invest your time in a good book or a long walk, or some quality time with the people you love. Stop being a slave to everyone else that wants to control you, your money, or your emotions, and Live Inspired and Free Now!
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!