Relationships don’t just fall apart, they slowly slip away. People get “comfortable” and start to take one another for granted. You start to run out the door without kissing good-bye, or you go to bed at different times, or you stop saying “I love you,” or you start to give more of your time and attention to someone or something else outside of the relationship.
These little things add up and turn into big things that can damage or kill a relationship. They don’t happen instantly, they happen slowly over time. You can reverse the damage and get your relationship back in time! Here are some “little” things that make a BIG difference.
1 Always say I love you, at least once per day, but more is better! They might already know you love them… but they NEED to hear it!
2 Take a moment to text/email/facebook message/tweet/instant message/post it note/ or call and let them know you were thinking about them. They need to know that you are important to them. There are enough ways to get a hold of someone today, use them to make them feel special!
3 Share intimate moments either kissing, hugging, snuggling, touching, holding hands or making love. You need the feel good chemicals that your body releases during intimate moments to create a bond. Don’t let a day go by without physical touch of some sort!
4 Make time to talk about your day… every day. You start to disconnect when you don’t know what is going on in each others worlds while you are apart. Smile and listen to him talk all about the mechanic that didn’t show up for work, or the tractor that wouldn’t start and you tell him about the weird lady at the nail salon or the funny tie your co-worker wore. Whatever your day holds, share it with one another so they feel connected to you each day. Let them into your world.
5 Eat together. Sharing meals together is a great way to re-connect after a long day. Make something you both enjoy, sit and savor a meal without television, and just decompress.
6 Give compliments and thanks. Don’t let a day go by without saying something complimentary. “You look great today,” or “Thank you for picking up bread on your way home, I really appreciate that because I didn’t have time to stop.” Don’t let these things go…. even the small things! How great would you feel if you knew someone greatly appreciated all that you do?
7 Always be honest. Trust is much easier to keep than it is to get back… so don’t risk losing it. Be completely honest with your partner about everything. Speak kindly but honestly about the little things that bother you rather than letting them build up into resentments. Talk to your partner about your relationship instead of to your friends. It is OK to vent and get advice but make sure your friends (and their advice) don’t hurt your relationship. Your partner must come first… always. Friends are wonderful but if you need real help in your relationship, hire a professional and keep the friends out of it. Friends sometimes tend to hang on to what you have told them and hold a grudge whereas a professional is detached and can give non-biased advice.
Even if it’s “not your fault” or you “don’t think he will even notice,” let go of your ego and try these steps today! Don’t get discouraged if it takes more than one day…. you slowly deconstructed your relationship, it will take TIME to put it back together. If you implement these steps, he/she will notice and will start to respond as well.
Don’t let the person you love slip away when it is easy to remind them how much they mean to you. Enjoy a healthy, happy, passionate relationship, and Live Inspired Now!
PS: Feel free to contact me if you need support through this process!
Heather Paris; NLP, CC, SI
607-269-7815
heather@liveinspirednow.com
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
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