HEATHER PARIS

How many of you have ever know a Debbie Downer or a Sad Face Sally? You know who I mean, the Negative Nelly that always sees the bad in everything. No matter how good things are, they find a way to cast a dark shadow. Or maybe if you have NEVER met anyone like that… maybe it’s YOU? (Nahhhh, it’s definitely not you!)

The next time you cross paths with one of these people, try using a “state change” to influence their behavior. A state change is when you create a change in a persons state of mind, mood, or thoughts. We can also change our own state too. Maybe you feel a little down in the dumps and don’t know why? Maybe you are going through some real life challenges and need something that will perk you up?

There are 3 ways to change a persons state…. focus, language, and physiology.

Let’s start with physiology. Physiology is the way in which you use your body. Have you ever just sat down for a moment to relax and fell asleep, then woke up and said “I didn’t even know I was tired!” That is because your mind knows what to do given the way you use your body! So to change your state, use your body better. Sit or stand up straight, get off the couch, move and exercise, and be in a positive, alert position. If you want to change another person’s state, take them for a walk, get them up, and get them moving!

The next is focus. What we focus on is what we feel so if you are constantly thinking about bad things, then you feel bad. Change your own state or someone else’s with distraction. Never tell someone “just don’t think about it!” That doesn’t work and I can prove it. Right now… DO NOT think about a bright yellow, juicy, tart lemon. No, I said DON’T think about it. Naturally, you have to think about what you are not supposed to think about. A better method is distraction. LOOK, A SQUIRREL!! Just distract yourself with something else, like a squirrel, or getting involved in another project, or by focusing on what you are actually doing in the moment.

The last state change tool is language. Again, your brain listens to the words you use and creates your world around them. If you are constantly saying “I’m fat,” then your brain will believe it and when you look in the mirror, you will see a fat person, even if you are thin. Your brain is like a computer, it has to be correct. Just like a calculator will always make 2+2=4, your brain will always align your experiences up with your beliefs. So change your state by using POSITIVE language.
Say things like I CAN do things, I AM beautiful, I WILL succeed. Change another persons state the same way… with encouraging language… I BELIEVE in YOU, YOU ROCK, etc….

The best way to influence another person will always be by setting a great example. Use these simple techniques to change your state, influence those around you, and Live Inspired Now!