Do you know the difference between self care and self medicating? If not, that could be the reason your “self care” isn’t working!
Self care is preventative. Self medicating occurs during emotional crisis.
Self medicating happens when you’ve become exhausted, resentful, or upset. You’ve taken care of everyone else and no one cared back. Now you are “rewarding” yourself with something destructive because you are pissed off, sick of it all, or determined to give a giant middle finger to the world as pay back and you feel completely justified in doing so!
I’ve been there too. There is a better way.
Self care happens BEFORE you give every ounce of yourself. In fact, it happens before you are even the slightest bit uncomfortable. And if you do it preventatively, you are FAR less likely to ever self medicate again.
Self medicating is trying to make yourself temporarily feel better at the expense of your health or well being. It’s like trying to fill your cup with an eye dropper while allowing everyone else to drink out of it! There’s never enough!
These are some examples of self medicating especially when done in excess:
- Gambling
- Drinking
- Drug use
- Sexual deviance
- Spending money aka retail therapy
- Going outside of your relationship
- Stealing / Lying
- Eating
If there is a chance that you’ll feel terrible after, you could get arrested, you could lose your job, relationship, or integrity, you are self medicating.
Self care is identifying your needs and meeting them in positive and healthy ways. It’s keeping your cup full and allowing others to have whatever flows over the edge.
Some examples of self care:
- Meditating
- Yoga or exercise
- Taking a walk
- Deep breathing / fresh outdoor air
- Visiting people you love
- Calling a lifeline: friend, coach, parent, etc.
- Body work: massage, facial, mani/pedi
- Taking a bath
- Trying something new / adventure
- Smiling (totally under-rated)
- Snuggles with a pet or loved one
- Cup of tea
- Reading a book / learning something new
When you take care of yourself, you teach others how to care for you too! You’ll feel better about any challenges that come your way, and you give other people permission to care for themselves as well… especially your kiddos who are watching and modeling everything you do!
Self care is not a luxury, it’s mandatory if you want to live your best, healthiest, and happiest life!
What is your favorite thing to do for self care? Comment below and let me know!
Follow our adventures on Instagram (@heatherparis) and Facebook!
With love, gratitude, and inspiration,
Heather Paris
607-269-7815
www.liveinspirednow.com
Email me: heather@liveinspirednow.com
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
Did you know that your brain was not designed to be quiet? It was designed to process…
“Why don’t animals have butt cracks? Should I punish my kid for lying? What should I make for dinner tonight? What the hell is that mark on my cheek??? Did she really just look at me that way? Crap I forgot to stop at the post office again!”
Have you ever noticed that your brain is always working? If it wasn’t…. well…. you know… you’d be dead.
So yea, you are NOT a failure if you can’t meditate. In fact, I bet you CAN actually meditate, and you probably have, you just don’t realize it!
You know those times when you are so deeply present with something? That’s meditation!!
For me, it’s painting rocks…. the world could end while I’m painting and I wouldn’t even notice. I’m so deep into my painting that nothing else phases me. I’m completely relaxed and shut everything else out… and it’s effortless. For a close friend of mine… it’s eating! lol
So if sitting in full lotus with your hands on your knees doesn’t work for you…. try relaxing your brain into a mundane yet fulfilling activity such as painting… or whatever works for you!
Your mind is doing exactly what it’s supposed to do… analyze your world, assess risk, and create safety plans. We don’t have dinosaurs trying to kill us anymore, but our brain is still watching for the danger! It’s trying to process a threat that is no longer credible… which is boring so your brain needs to create some drama in the form of worry, anxiety, fear, nervousness, etc!
Give your brain something to do instead such as mantra: repeating a word or phrase over and over, or by going deep into the activities that you enjoy!
See? Meditation is actually pretty easy after all! Again, your not silencing your mind, your just giving it something to do while you relax!
Hope you have a great week… I’m off to NYC for a college tour with my “baby.” Wow. I blinked and she’s 17. It happens… hug your kiddos and cherish each moment!
Follow our adventures on Instagram (@heatherparis) and Facebook!
With love, gratitude, and inspiration,
Heather Paris
607-269-7815
www.liveinspirednow.com
Email me: heather@liveinspirednow.com
Coaching is a holistic alternative to therapy. It’s fast, affordable, and highly effective! Just hit reply to this email if you’d like to know how coaching could help you or your family!
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!