A very funny event from my childhood happened when I was about 3 years old. My father, being in the Army, was stationed in Maryland, just outside of Baltimore. My mom had always wanted to take a train trip, so she decided that while my dad was on duty one weekend, her and I would take a train to visit relatives in Rhode Island. My mom was a little leery of traveling alone, but nonetheless, we made the trip…. What could go wrong?
Mom came prepared to entertain a 3 year old in the early 70’s with coloring books and a big box of new crayons. After the long ride was underway, mom dozed off. She must have slept for a while because the next thing she new, we were at our stop to switch trains. Mom woke up and looked over at me and with tears in my eyes I stated “I want my crayons!” Confused as to where the crayons could have disappeared to, my mom said “Heather, where are your crayons?”
At that moment, I just pointed to the seat in front of us and that is when my mom discovered in complete horror where my crayons had gone! While she was sleeping, the man in the seat in front of us had also been sleeping. And while this poor unsuspecting man slept, I had pushed all of my crayons into his giant afro that stood above the back of his seat! In the 70’s the afro’s were sometimes really large so he must not have even felt it! My mom says she didn’t know what to do so she quietly whispered to me “I will buy you new crayons” and hurried off the train!
My mom still laughs when she tells this story almost 40 years later! I am sure it must have been pretty funny and I hope the man with the afro wasn’t too upset by the crayons! You just never know what funny things kids are going to do!
I hope you all have an amazing Thanksgiving! Love your family, count your blessings, and Live Inspired Now!
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
I thought I would spend this week reflecting on some stories that I have never shared before. Since this is Thanksgiving week and all, I am thankful for the experiences I have had that shaped who I am.
Many people don’t know this about me, but I joined the Air Force in the early 90’s. I got about half way through basic training when I started getting severe leg pain in my right shin. I thought something might be wrong since it was so swollen and painful but didn’t say anything. One morning when I came down to formation, my drill sergeant let me have it because my boot wasn’t laced properly. It was then that he noticed how swollen my leg was. He sent me to the hospital and it turned out that I had over 20 stress fractures, shin splints and severe tendinitis. After many tests and x-rays they determined that my leg was not going to heal well enough to stay in the military and I had to get out. I was so disappointed but knew that it just meant that something else was around the corner for me. I got out of the Air Force and my leg took a long time to recover, but I moved forward.
Fast forward about 20 years later, to last month when I went and watched my daughter Madison graduate from Air Force basic training! Wow! What a treat for me to be back at the same base and watching my daughter complete something that had been a dream of mine. I thought a great deal about the irony of the situation. The fact is, when I got out of the Air Force, I moved to Rhode Island and met Madison’s father. Had I stayed in, I would have never met him, and Madison would not be there, graduating herself! It was like a circle closed and Madison was starting her life close to where I had started my life as her Mom.
I look back now and I am so grateful for that leg injury! How many times does something happen in your life that you think is a negative but turns into something positive? Even if the event was painful, good things can come of it! We just have to keep our eyes and hearts open and have faith in the bigger picture! Do you have any stories of things that came around full circle and worked out for the best? Think about your blessings today and Live Inspired Now!
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Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
One of the most frequent questions I hear from clients and fans is “How do I deal with judgmental or critical family members?” Everyone wants to know if they should keep them in their life or ditch them, and if they keep them, how then can they keep their own sanity.
Whether you decide to tolerate not-so-nice family members is up to you. My personal motto is “My love is unconditional however my tolerance is not.” I don’t believe we are obligated to put up with abuse or meanness from anyone. With that said, please also take a look at your tolerance level. Some things can (and should be) shrugged off…. are you emotionally detached? If not, here are 6 tips to help you emotionally detach when you visit snarky family members during the Holidays!
1 Arrive with a plan! Before you even leave your home to travel over the river and through the woods, devise a clear plan for escape! Decide with your partner on how long you will stay, and the exact time you will leave. If you decide to play it by ear, then at least come up with a signal to let the other know when you have had your fill. A simple ear tug, or a throat clear can be a sign that you are ready to leave and then you don’t have to feel like you’re the bad guy dragging everyone away from Grandma’s house.
2 Distract yourself! Bring items of distraction that will keep you focused on anything but your mother’s “Gee you have gained some weight” comments. A good book, board games to play with the kids, or your favorite holiday movie. Whatever it is, distract yourself from the negative comments and put your attention elsewhere.
3 Give, help, donate, volunteer! When you focus your energy on helping others, you have little time to think about the negative influences in your life. A fan today told me that she was going to have extra cards at her house for family to fill out, then she would send them to Holiday Mail for Heroes! Yay! Great way to change your family’s focus onto something worthy!
4 Wear your walking shoes! Be prepared to take a little walk if you need to escape. We can’t always be perfect and deflect the negativity so take a break if you need to! You can take a walk, get some fresh air, offer to run to the convenience store for more butter, or just sneak off and enjoy a quiet moment alone.
5 Discharge! If you don’t express your emotions, they just pile up and you are left lugging them around in the form of baggage for years to come. If you don’t feel you can express yourself during your Holiday gathering, then do it afterwards. You can talk to your partner and discharge all of your hurt feelings, or you can journal about it. Another nice way to dump hurt feelings is to write a letter to your offender and burn it. Be sure to be as explicit as you can be, then shred or burn the letter. You will be surprised at how liberating it is to free yourself of emotional baggage!
6 Breath deeply and relax! Take some nice, big, deep breaths and imagine yourself enclosed in a giant gold bubble. Nothing that anyone says can hurt, harm, or offend you. It all just slides right off as you sit back and relax. Nice deep breaths and controlled reactions. You are allowed to relax and enjoy peace, even if someone is trying to get you going. You don’t have to attend every drama party you are invited to!
I hope you are able to emotionally detach and enjoy a very happy and healthy Holiday Season! You have the opportunity to practice your new-found wisdom next week on Thanksgiving Day! Enjoy, relax, detach, and Live Inspired Now!
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
Every year our family sends cards to Military Men and Women who are recovering in the hospital after the stresses of service, or who are spending the holidays alone away from family. Please join us by mailing holiday cards to:
Holiday Mail for Heroes
P.O. Box 5456
Capitol Heights, MD 20791-5456
They ask that the cards not have glitter or other substances that could fall off onto wounds. Also, don’t make cards out to particular people, just use generic greetings such as Dear Service Member so they can go to anyone.
This a wonderful way for kids to get involved and learn how good it feels to do something nice for others. This year I am especially glad to be doing this project as my very own daughter is now in the Air Force. She will be with her military brothers and sisters for her birthday and Thanksgiving but gratefully we get her back in time for Christmas!
Please join our family in letting military people know how much we care! Send a card or a bunch of cards and Live Inspired Now!
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
In our home, we don’t give birthday “presents,” rather we give birthday “experiences!” I have shared about this before, but it’s been a while so let me tell you what we did this year for the kids birthdays!
We took Harry to the Vidcon Conference in California. He loved it! Not only did he get to meet his favorite famous youtubers, but he learned some great new techniques for making videos, and he networked with fellow youtube friends and fans! Harry says it was one of the best trips he has ever been on!
Ethan wanted to go to the “big Chuck E Cheese” in Rhode Island. We told him that we couldn’t pull it off, and that we would just do something else instead. So when we went to Rhode Island, shortly before his birthday, he was completely surprised when we brought him to his surprise party at the “big Chuck E Cheese!” You couldn’t have pried the smile off of his face with a crowbar!
Carrie Sue wanted to take a mother / daughter trip to Rhode Island. We had a blast! We had tons of time on the road trip to talk and laugh and even make silly videos. Then while in Rhode Island, we visited her favorite stores and spent time with Grandma and Grandpa! Carrie still talks about the trip and wants to go again next year!
My daughter Madalyn wanted to go to the “Cake Boss” store in New Jersey. I planned the visit around a Tony Robbins; Unleash The Power Within Conference and took her to both! She LOVED it! We visited the cake boss bakery and then Mattie spent 4 energy packed days at the UPW conference! She walked on fire, had some major breakthroughs, and wants to go to the conference next summer!
The kids love going on amazing adventures and doing fun things for their birthdays. The biggest thing that I love about it, is that the memories we create will stay with them for a lifetime. Much longer than a plastic toy or electronic device that they will eventually stop playing with and forget about!
We don’t always do such extravagant events, sometimes they are as simple as going to a show or concert. It’s about sharing the experience, spending time together, and creating loving memories! So think about how you might “do” something for your loved one instead of buying something! Create memories that will last forever, and Live Inspired Now!
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
