If you don’t mind casual dating and are NOT looking for a serious relationship, you can stop reading now.
If you are looking for that special someone, or might be in the future, read on…
This is the one question that you need to ask a potential mate before you ever consider going out with them again!
What will you bring to a relationship?
Seriously, it’s about time people started to ask potential mates what they have to offer! Not because you are looking to take from them but because if you are willing to go into a relationship at 100%, you need to know they are willing to do the same!
I could give you a million examples but let me share my own story.
When I was 22, I married my first husband Don. He was an alcoholic and much older than me. I was young and dumb and believed him when he said “Once we get married, I will stop drinking.”
He was kind, and we liked the same things, but those qualities are less and less endearing after you’ve come home drunk for 7 nights in a row.
I never asked him what he had to offer in a relationship because I mistakenly thought we’d build it together. The problem with that thinking is that I was too young and dumb to know how to build anything, and he was too drunk.
Some people think a home is the biggest investment you will ever make, it’s not, your relationship is!
If you don’t invest wisely, you will get burned. If you are willing to put in 100%, why would you take a risk on someone who is only going to put in 20%, it just doesn’t make sense!
Asking someone what they have to offer in a relationship is a smart, decisive question that can scare off anyone who’s not serious, and seem attractive to someone who is willing to play full out!
Here are just a few things to look for when considering your relationship investments:
- Are they financially responsible? I’m not talking about looking for someone rich, I’m talking about someone who has a good head on his shoulders and knows how to handle money.
- Are they emotionally stable? *Secure and confident vs jealous and emotionally unavailable.
- Do they share similar values? *Honesty, loyalty, altruism, family, ambition, monogamy, etc…
- Do they have any addictions, unhealthy habits, or questionable friendships?
- Do they speak kindly, or harshly about past relationships? *Ask “What happened with your last breakup?” If they start with he or she was a B*itch, or A**hole, then run! Or, if they start with “He or she was the best thing that ever happened to me and I can’t move on,” then run! If they are able to take some of the responsibility and speak highly or at least neutral of their EX then they might be emotionally healthy people!
- Where do they want to be in 5 years?
- Are they ambitious or content to stay exactly where they are forever?
- Are they inappropriately attached to their parents? *Do they live at home? Are they a mama’s boy or still a little girl?
- Do they have pets and if so do they take good care of them?
- How is their personal hygiene and their personal space? *If you marry a pig, don’t expect that to change just because you put a ring on it.
Listen, most clients who come in complaining about their spouse tell me that they had the same “bad qualities” when they were dating but they expected them to step up to the occasion of matrimony.
It doesn’t work that way! So, if you are single… don’t be afraid to expect a potential mate to bring something to the game!
And don’t forget, a quality mate will be looking for what YOU bring to the table too! Make sure you have something of quality to offer in a relationship! If not, work on getting healthy before you start looking for your true love!
A quality relationship is the biggest investment you will ever make….. invest wisely!
As always, if you need some help, just contact me!
Experience has made me wise, coaching has shown me how to share that wisdom.
If you are ready to join the mission to raise emotional intelligence and teach others how to as well, please learn more about the Live Inspired Now Coach Training and get your FREE 6 Day Mini Coaching Course:
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Love and inspiration,
Heather Paris
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
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