Imagine, your child is freakin’ out. You’re on your last nerve…….
You lose your shit, start yelling and now instead of controlling the situation, you have a crying child, your blood pressure is sky rocketing, and your re-thinking this whole “parenting” crap that seemed so rewarding! lol.
What can you do in those moments instead of screaming, yelling, or freaking out???
Get really quiet!
Turn off all the noise boxes (TV, radio, computer) and sit quietly in the center of the chaos. Your kiddo will get confused and want to know what’s going on. Calmly and with a whisper say “It’s quiet time.”
If he freaks out or starts yelling, simply say in a very quiet voice, “I’m sorry, I can’t hear you when you speak that loudly.” Once he quiets down, then respond!
A little twist on this is that if your child is ever disrespectful to you, you can also say “I’m sorry, I can’t hear you when you speak to me that way.” Do not respond until their tone is appropriate! This works on older kids too!
It’s definitely counter intuitive to get quiet when you feel the call to yell but let’s face it… the only thing yelling does is stress YOU out and adds more noise to an already chaotic situation.
Try something new, get quiet! Remember to be a tiny pebble!
When standing by the waters edge, if someone chucks in a boulder, you automatically run to avoid the splash, but if someone throws in a tiny pebble, you lean it to watch the ripples.
Have a super week! Don’t forget to register for the upcoming 1 day relationship retreat at beautiful del Lago Resort and Casino in Waterloo, NY!
“7 Principles For Making Marriage Work” at del Lago Resort and Casino in Waterloo, New York!!
We only have space for 3 more couples so if you are interested, act NOW!! Get more info here!!! Or hit reply to this email!
With love, gratitude, and inspiration,
Heather Paris
www.liveinspirednow.com
Email me: heather@liveinspirednow.com
Coaching is a holistic alternative to therapy. It’s fast, affordable, and highly effective! Just hit reply to this email if you’d like to know how coaching could help you or your family!
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
If you NEVER said this again, you’d be happier and so would everyone else…
“Should.”
“You should….”
“I should…”
“He should have…”
Stop should-ing all over the place! Let’s face it, people don’t like being told what they should do. So when your best friend, or your spouse, or one of your kids needs advice or guidance leave the “should” out of it.
Instead try…
“If it were me, I might….”
“It’s up to you but you may want to consider…”
“What have you tried/considered so far?”
These types of statements offer support without judgment or condescension AND they empower the other person to come up with their own solutions!
And this will make you a rockstar communicator! 🙂
OMG…. I almost forgot!!! Guess what Thad and I have coming up in March?? A one day relationship retreat called “7 Principles For Making Marriage Work” at del Lago Resort and Casino in Waterloo, New York!!
We only have space for 3 more couples so if you are interested, act NOW!! Get more info here!!! Or hit reply to this email!
With love, gratitude, and inspiration,
Heather Paris
www.liveinspirednow.com
Email me: heather@liveinspirednow.com
Coaching is a holistic alternative to therapy. It’s fast, affordable, and highly effective! Just hit reply to this email if you’d like to know how coaching could help you or your family!
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
My son Harry told his friends….
“My Mom is a crazy bitch!”
…and it was the best lie he told!!
This may sound crazy, but it’s VITALLY important that you teach your kids to lie!
I know, I know! We teach them to tell the truth but in some cases, lying is better!
Listen, peer pressure is intense and kids need a way to handle it and lying to their friends can be an extremely effective way to get out of a difficult situation.
Come up with several great “lies” WITH your kids that they can use to help get them out of risky situations.
Here are a few examples:
- “No man, I’m not doing that, my mom is a crazy bitch and will kill my ass!”
- “Nahhh, I’m already high/drunk, I don’t want any more!”
- “I’m actually allergic to alcohol, I could die if I drink it. I can’t even take cough medicine.”
- “My dad texted, he’s picking me up early because I didn’t do my stupid chores!”
Peer pressure is incredibly powerful. Our kids need to know how to handle these difficult social situations and these little lies could save them in many ways!
Be sure to tell them that after they lie their way out of danger, they must call or text you immediately to get picked up from where they are!
Also, be sure to remind them that they will never get in any trouble for these types of lies and for being responsible enough to make a better choice than their friends!
Parenting is hard. NOT parenting is much harder… on you, on the kid, and on society! If you need help, please reach out to me today! DO NOT WAIT! Prevention is easier than intervention!!!
With love, gratitude, and inspiration,
Heather Paris
Email me: heather@liveinspirednow.com
Does your child have a “guardian angel?” Check out my latest book with beautiful illustrations done by MY guardian angel: “I Have A Guardian Angel” Order now to get it before Christmas!
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
Have you seen the “Me too” posts going around on social media? It’s a post designed to bring awareness to the prevalence of sexual abuse. Anyone who’s status says “Me too” is indicating that they have been the victim of sexual abuse or harassment. And sadly, these posts are popping up by the thousands!
I have worked with young people, male and female, that have been victimized sexually and it’s nearly impossible to heal from such acts, and many don’t.
You can never guarantee 100% that you’ll prevent your own children from falling victim to this type of heinous act, but there are definitely things you can do that will give you the best possible odds for preventing such a tragedy.
Please read and share these tips with your friends because knowledge is only power when it’s applied and shared!
Tips to prevent your child from being sexually abused:
1 Focus on the relationship you have with your child MORE than your expectations of your child. In other words, your relationship comes first even if they get bad grades, disappoint you, make a bad choice, or are misbehaving!
2 Call body parts by their proper names! It’s a penis, breasts, and a vagina, not a wee wee, pee pee, ding dong, boobies, or a hoo haw. These are body parts, call them by name because the more secretive you make them, the more you program your child to believe they are “unspeakable.” You WANT them to be able to talk about their body parts and understand fully who is allowed to touch them, see them, and talk about them…. mommy, daddy, or the doctor when mommy and daddy are in the room!
3 Choose babysitters VERY carefully. Bear in mind that 7 out of 10 sexual assaults happen by someone they victim knows…. usually a relative.
4 Have a plan in case your child get’s lost in the store. I used to tell my kids that if they ever got lost, find a woman and ask for help… never a man. Yes, I know that seems sexist. I don’t care. The facts are clear and most sexual predators are men, not women. I also used to put a small laminated card under the sole of their shoe with their phone number and address on it in case they ever needed it and couldn’t remember their info.
5 Don’t force kids to be around adults they don’t like. This one kills me!! If a child is uncomfortable with an adult, there is probably a reason!! Don’t force kids to “be polite” or “he’s your uncle, don’t be rude, just give uncle a kiss!” Gross. Kids should NEVER be made to show affection if they don’t want to, and they should know it’s OK for them to say NO… even to an adult!
6 Talk about secrets with your kids. Let them know that adults don’t get to have secrets with kids unless mommy and daddy are in on it! Abusers always use the “it’s a secret” card so be sure your kids know that secrets are not OK!
7 Make it safe for your child to be open and honest. Encourage them to talk to you by talking to them and being available without distractions! Let them know that no matter what they tell you, they won’t get in trouble! Talk, talk, and talk some more!
8 Know who they are spending time with! Get to know their friends AND their friends parents too. I am a huge fan of having kids over to MY house so I know exactly what’s going on. My kids always knew they could have friends over!
It’s absolutely heart breaking to see all the “Me too” posts on Facebook, let’s do all we can so that our own children never have to say “Me too.”
For MORE on this topic, please be sure to get my book Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness which includes all of my best advice for parenting, and navigating the chaos of life!
Please reach out if you need help. <3
With love, gratitude, and inspiration,
Heather Paris
www.liveinspirednow.com
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
Shit rolls down hill but so does kindness!
Kids will say, do, and behave the way you do!
They will love, nurture, appreciate, compliment, grow, learn, and light up the way you do.
They will also hate, avoid, ignore, insult, and self deprecate the way you do as well.
Negative emotions aren’t bad unless you don’t know how to handle them!
Currently, more than 1 in 5 children have a “mental illness.” This is NOT because all of the sudden kids just started being born mentally ill.
It’s directly because kids today do not learn emotional intelligence which leaves them susceptible to influences that will negatively impact their development.
It’s up to us as parents, teachers, mentors, and caring adults to be the example we want our kids to become!
Here are a few suggestions to up your parenting game:
- Greet your kids when they arrive home from school
- Provide nutrient dense food and snacks
- Give kids a bed time and abide by it
- Don’t allow screens at the dinner table
- Have dinner together at the table
- Sit and talk with your kids without phones, computers, and social media
- Know your kids friends
- Say NO to your kids now and then
- Do not do their homework or projects
- Let them discuss challenges with their teachers without your help
- Give them chores and enforce that they do them
- Read together, take a class together, exercise together, do something TOGETHER
- Praise efforts not results
- Ask and LISTEN
- Empower don’t enable
I’ve always tried to raise my kids based on this quote:
Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
-Kahlil Gibran
Need help? Don’t wait til it’s too late, contact me now!
Have an exceptional week!
With love, gratitude, and inspiration,
Heather Paris
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!