Preventing “Me too” in your own kids….

October 16, 2017 | Posted in Communication, Family, General, Kids, Parenting, Self-Esteem | By

Have you seen the “Me too” posts going around on social media? It’s a post designed to bring awareness to the prevalence of sexual abuse. Anyone who’s status says “Me too” is indicating that they have been the victim of sexual abuse or harassment. And sadly, these posts are popping up by the thousands!

I have worked with young people, male and female, that have been victimized sexually and it’s nearly impossible to heal from such acts, and many don’t.

You can never guarantee 100% that you’ll prevent your own children from falling victim to this type of heinous act, but there are definitely things you can do that will give you the best possible odds for preventing such a tragedy.

Please read and share these tips with your friends because knowledge is only power when it’s applied and shared!

Tips to prevent your child from being sexually abused:

1 Focus on the relationship you have with your child MORE than your expectations of your child. In other words, your relationship comes first even if they get bad grades, disappoint you, make a bad choice, or are misbehaving!

2 Call body parts by their proper names! It’s a penis, breasts, and a vagina, not a wee wee, pee pee, ding dong, boobies, or a hoo haw. These are body parts, call them by name because the more secretive you make them, the more you program your child to believe they are “unspeakable.” You WANT them to be able to talk about their body parts and understand fully who is allowed to touch them, see them, and talk about them…. mommy, daddy, or the doctor when mommy and daddy are in the room!

3 Choose babysitters VERY carefully. Bear in mind that 7 out of 10 sexual assaults happen by someone they victim knows…. usually a relative.

4 Have a plan in case your child get’s lost in the store. I used to tell my kids that if they ever got lost, find a woman and ask for help… never a man. Yes, I know that seems sexist. I don’t care. The facts are clear and most sexual predators are men, not women. I also used to put a small laminated card under the sole of their shoe with their phone number and address on it in case they ever needed it and couldn’t remember their info.

5 Don’t force kids to be around adults they don’t like. This one kills me!! If a child is uncomfortable with an adult, there is probably a reason!! Don’t force kids to “be polite” or “he’s your uncle, don’t be rude, just give uncle a kiss!” Gross. Kids should NEVER be made to show affection if they don’t want to, and they should know it’s OK for them to say NO… even to an adult!

6 Talk about secrets with your kids. Let them know that adults don’t get to have secrets with kids unless mommy and daddy are in on it! Abusers always use the “it’s a secret” card so be sure your kids know that secrets are not OK!

7 Make it safe for your child to be open and honest. Encourage them to talk to you by talking to them and being available without distractions! Let them know that no matter what they tell you, they won’t get in trouble! Talk, talk, and talk some more!

8 Know who they are spending time with! Get to know their friends AND their friends parents too. I am a huge fan of having kids over to MY house so I know exactly what’s going on. My kids always knew they could have friends over!

It’s absolutely heart breaking to see all the “Me too” posts on Facebook, let’s do all we can so that our own children never have to say “Me too.”

For MORE on this topic, please be sure to get my book Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness which includes all of my best advice for parenting, and navigating the chaos of life!

Please reach out if you need help. <3

With love, gratitude, and inspiration,

Heather Paris
www.liveinspirednow.com


Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!

Shit rolls down hill…

September 19, 2017 | Posted in General | By

21557920_10213674468351837_2959883127245102422_nShit rolls down hill but so does kindness!

Kids will say, do, and behave the way you do!

They will love, nurture, appreciate, compliment, grow, learn, and light up the way you do.

They will also hate, avoid, ignore, insult, and self deprecate the way you do as well.

Negative emotions aren’t bad unless you don’t know how to handle them! 

Currently, more than 1 in 5 children have a “mental illness.” This is NOT because all of the sudden kids just started being born mentally ill.

It’s directly because kids today do not learn emotional intelligence which leaves them susceptible to influences that will negatively impact their development.

It’s up to us as parents, teachers, mentors, and caring adults to be the example we want our kids to become!

Here are a few suggestions to up your parenting game:

  • Greet your kids when they arrive home from school
  • Provide nutrient dense food and snacks
  • Give kids a bed time and abide by it
  • Don’t allow screens at the dinner table
  • Have dinner together at the table
  • Sit and talk with your kids without phones, computers, and social media
  • Know your kids friends
  • Say NO to your kids now and then
  • Do not do their homework or projects
  • Let them discuss challenges with their teachers without your help
  • Give them chores and enforce that they do them
  • Read together, take a class together, exercise together, do something TOGETHER
  • Praise efforts not results
  • Ask and LISTEN
  • Empower don’t enable

I’ve always tried to raise my kids based on this quote:

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
-Kahlil Gibran

Need help? Don’t wait til it’s too late, contact me now!

Have an exceptional week!

With love, gratitude, and inspiration,

Heather Paris


Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!

Steal my idea and be a HERO…

August 1, 2017 | Posted in Family, Feel Good, Fun Stuff, General, Inspiration, Kids, Moms, Parenting, Relationships | By

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Carrie, Harry, and Madison on one of our adventures to the park!

“EAT SOMETHING, AND BE IN THE CAR IN 15 MINUTES!!!”

This has become one of my kids all time favorite phrases!

At least once per Summer, I’d wake my kids up with this phrase! And after a while, they learned not to ask questions, they would eat quickly, and excitedly pile into the car because they knew….. it’s adventure time!

Growing up, my mother took flying lessons, worked at NASA, and drove a silver convertible. My dad blasted rock and roll music on his reel to reel and took us to the record store where we would look at albums for what seemed like hours! On my birthday, they would bring me to the toy store and say “pick out one thing… whatever you want!”

My parents were adventurous, I am adventurous, and now my kids are adventurous! That’s how it works!

So after the kids wake up, eat something, and pile into the car… I drive! I let them guess where we are going but I never tell them. Then it happens…. we pull into the amusement park and squeals of delight can be heard!

Every year it’s some place new… not always an amusement park, but always someplace fun and unexpected.

There is nothing more special than sharing an adventure with the ones you love most!

It doesn’t have to be anything expensive either! You could pack a picnic, the kids bathing suits, and head to the park. Or coordinate with other parents and meet up at a playground and let all the kids play together!

Whatever you do…. create a suspenseful adventure and you will be the HERO of the Summer!!! You can do this for your spouse too!

Fun, adventure, excitement, and spontaneity are not just for kids! Throw romance in there as well and really knock it out of the park!! 

Create your adventure today and let me know what you do! Maybe I’ll steal YOUR idea too! 🙂

Have a spectacular week!

Have you joined the Live Inspired Now Coach Training???  yet? 

Our students are making massive changes in the lives of their patients, students, children, co-workers, clients, companies, as well as their own lives as a result of this course, and we think you’d fit right in!

Join us today…. we only accept 30 students and enrollment will not be open again until next Spring:

BECOME A COACH!!

Questions? Just hit reply to this email and I’d be happy to reply!

With love, gratitude, and inspiration,

Heather Paris


Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!

You are NOT the mood police…

July 10, 2017 | Posted in Challenges, Communication, Family, General, Happiness, Parenting, Relationships | By

3 different clients made me say these words this week:

“You are NOT the mood police!” 

This is one of the most prevalent challenges in our society today…. we feel the need to correct or fix the feelings of other people because we feel their bad mood is a reflection of us as a person.

Imagine this:

  1. Husband is in a cranky mood.
  2. Wife is irritated by husband’s cranky mood so she tries to make him feel happy.
  3. Husband doesn’t want to feel happy right now. He wants to be left alone to think for a bit.
  4. Wife gets even more irritated that husband won’t “snap out of it.”
  5. Wife feels rejected and becomes cranky.
  6. Husband and wife argue and it escalates from crankiness to anger and now they both retreat away from one another to stew in rejection and misery.
  7. Kids are now upset too because Mom and Dad are fighting again.
The End….. of their relationships if that happens enough!

It doesn’t have to be like this!

Imagine this instead:

  1. Husband is in a cranky mood.
  2. Wife asks if he’d like to talk about it.
  3. Husband says “No thank you, I’d prefer to have some time alone to stew.”
  4. Wife says “OK my love, take all the time you need.”
  5. Husband goes and has some alone time.
  6. Wife goes and plays with the kids.
  7. An hour later the husband emerges and thanks his wife for allowing him some time and they escalate into a supportive conversation about the days frustrations.
  8. Kids see a Mom and Dad lovingly supporting one another and feel happy and secure.
The End.

Other people are entitled to feel however they want to feel. It is not our job to constantly police moods, feelings, or emotions! And remember this…

Another persons emotions are NOT a reflection of you, your parenting, your relationship, your abilities, or your productivity! Your spouse does NOT love you because of what you provide. They love you because you are you! 

What does this topic mean to you? Just hit reply to this email and let me know! I can’t wait to hear your thoughts!

With love, gratitude, and inspiration,

Heather Paris

GUESS WHAT???? Coach training is now OPEN!!! Check it out now… space is limited, jump in now….  BECOME A COACH!!


Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!

Your kids want you to know….

June 13, 2017 | Posted in Anxiety, Change, Family, General, Happiness, Kids, Moms, Parenting, Stress | By

mental-physical

Your kiddo would like you to know that when YOU feel good, THEY feel good!!!

It really is that simple.

Parents over work and under take care of themselves so they can “provide” for the family but what the kid really wants is for you to be happy.

In fact, every kid I talk to cares more about their parents happiness than they do about their cell phones. They would give up all their electronic toys if it meant their parents would smile, laugh, and spend quality time with them.

Your kids will only ever be as OK as you are! 

Stress rolls downhill! If you are stressed so are they. And blanket statements like “I have to work to provide all the nice things you have!” does not negate their stress!

Think about that. No really think about it……….

When was the last time someone stressed themselves out for you and you felt good about it? 

Likely, never! Unless you’re a sociopath (and you’re not) you would never want someone else to be stressed to the max for you! You would feel horrible!

So. Take better care of yourself. There is a 100% link between mental health and physical health.

Work less, workout more…. and ask the kids to join you! You don’t have to go kill it at a gym… just take a walk, or a hike together!

Eat less, cook more…. and ask the kids to join you in the kitchen! You don’t have to prepare a 5 course meal… but cook a healthy meal instead of grabbing take out all of the time.

Your kids want you to spend time with them more than they want you to spend money on them. So cut the stress and hug your babies! Listen… they move out on their own far quicker than you realize!

You don’t want them to reach 18 and be dying to leave the house because it’s so stressful! You want them to feel bittersweet… happy to start a new adventure, but also miss you! That way they come back to visit!

With love, gratitude, and inspiration,

Heather Paris

UPDATE: I’ve lost 40 pounds which is 160 pounds of pressure off my joints!! I feel amazing and have loads of energy, and I’ve seen a shift in my own kids and how they are eating as well!!!


Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!