If this doesn’t get me kicked off the PTA, nothing will!

February 6, 2017 | Posted in Education, Family, Kids, Learning, Moms, Parenting | By

Do you know a “spoiled rotten kid?” C’mon, we all do… or have at least witnessed one, mid temper tantrum, in the store, crying over the newest candy bar, toy, or cell phone! 

Seriously, I think that may be the #1 topic people ask me about…. entitled kids!

I could write for days on the topic but I will try to reel it in with a few simple tips.

Tips to prevent raising entitled kids:

#1 Keep the praise to a minimum to raise a quality kid!

Yes, I did just say that! Stop complimenting everything breath they take. When you over praise, you set your kiddo up to seek external validation rather than learning self pride or appreciation.

Instead of praising, ask your kiddo some questions! Next time lil Johnny brings you his school project, instead of endlessly gushing, ask him how HE feels he did. Ask him what his favorite part of the project was. Or you could ask him what part he is most proud of, or what part he struggled with and how did he overcome the struggle.

#2 Reward with attention, not stuff!

If your kid deserves some praise or a reward, then offer them some quality time! And I’m not talking about the time it takes to go to the store to buy them stuff.

I mean go to the park and play hide and seek to celebrate together. Or go build a fort together. Or play a game, go for a walk, bake a cake, people watch, play mini golf, or even just sit and enjoy an ice cream cone together while talking!

I promise you… they will NEVER remember the toy you bought them when they were 6 but they WILL remember the quality time you spent with them, and how loved they felt.

#3 Say NO once in a while!

Just because you can afford something, doesn’t mean you should buy it. Telling you kiddo NO is a good thing because it teaches them patience and appreciation.

Just because Apple came out with the brand new version of the iPhone, doesn’t mean your kiddo should have it, even if it’s not a financial burden to get it. Remember that old anti-drug slogan from the 80’s? Just say NO!

#4 If you want them to act responsibly, you have to give them responsibility!

Thad and I are always amazed by the amount of responsibility some kids have in 3rd world countries. Kids at 7 years old are out hustling for money… shining shoes, carrying bags… whatever it takes.

It’s terribly sad that some kids are forced too young to hustle for food and resources, but it’s even more sad that some kids sit around and do nothing while being showered with praise and presents.

Give your kiddos some responsibility! All ages, even toddlers can participate in cleaning or picking up, loading things into the dishwasher, and helping out around the house.

If you start them young, they learn to contribute to their family because that’s what family members do. Not because they are getting a reward! Throw out the star sticker chart and start handing out hugs and thank-you’s!

#5 Allowance: Yes or No?

People ask me this a lot too. I don’t believe in giving an allowance, and I’ve never given allowance to my kids. I do however think it’s important to teach them to earn. I have paid my kids to do some things above and beyond their normal responsibilities. BUT… I do not nag, or bribe, I give them an opportunity to learn and earn.

Simply put, I let them know that I have a job available, how much it pays, and if one of them is interested, they can see me about it. I let them know the requirements, and if they do the job, I pay them. Simple.

Some examples have been:

  • Cleaning out the car
  • Foot rubs
  • Packing up books to send out to customers
  • Shampooing the dog
  • Organizing my bookshelf
  • Sweeping the patio
  • (My mom used to pay me to pull her grey hairs out. lol. I hope she doesn’t kill me for sharing that!)
  • etc….

I also think it’s important to teach them about money… how much to save for short and long term, and what to spend. (But that’s a whole different topic for another day!)

The point…. stop showering your kids with undue praise and rewards.

Instead, give them wings to fly so when the time comes, they leave the nest to do good in the world and eventually return for visits with adorable grand babies! 😉

If you know a parent who is struggling, please forward this to them and offer a kind word. Everyone needs a little inspiration now and then!

Experience has made me wise, coaching has shown me how to share that wisdom.

If you are ready to join the mission to increase emotional intelligence and teach others how to as well, please learn more about the Live Inspired Now Coach Training which is open again for enrollment! Live Inspired Now Coach Training Course

You can use your experience, combined with the skills you learn to give your children an advantage when they go out into the world, you can share what you learn with students, friends, family members, or your community!

Join us and be a gift to the world! 

Love and inspiration,

Heather Paris


Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!

Mindfulness Conference- Auburn, NY

October 17, 2016 | Posted in Education, Fun Stuff, General, Happiness, Inspiration, Learning, Live Events | By

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Friday, October 21

  • 7:00pm – Film: Happy w/panel discussion led by Heather Paris

Saturday, October 22

  • 7:45-9:00am – Registration
  • 8:00-8:30am – Meditation w/Karen Maezen Miller
  • 9:00-10:15am – Keynote Speaker Karen Maezen Miller
  • 10:30-11:45am – Mindful Eating w/Barbara Mendez
  • 12:00-1:00pm – Lunch
  • 1:30-3:00pm – Workshop w/Karen Maezen Miller
  • 3:00pm – Mindfulness Yoga w/Dena Beratta OR Film: Happy w/panel discussion led by Heather Paris
  • 7:00pm – Kirtan w/Liv Avtar Kaur (RYT) OR Film: Happy w/panel discussion led by Heather Paris

Sunday, October 23

  • 10:00am – Meditation

Please call the Auburn Public Theater at 315-253-6669 to register!


Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!

Are you a “Love Warrior?”

October 11, 2016 | Posted in Anxiety, Challenges, Communication, Education, Family, General, Happiness, Honesty, Inspiration, Love, Personal Development, Relationships, Self-Esteem, Stress | By

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Wow wow wow!!!

I recommend books all the time, but THIS book… seriously, I almost unfriended someone over it! lol

The other day I told a friend, “If you don’t read Love Warrior, we can no longer be friends!” And although I wasn’t seriously going to unfriend her, I was serious about my passion for this book!

Love Warrior will transform your thinking, and inspire your soul! I hope you will read it, and I really hope you will let me know what you think of it too. Get Love Warrior on Amazon here.

The book you don’t read won’t help! -Jim Rohn

I am not going to tell you anything about the book itself. I want you to discover all the beauty, raw truth, and inspiration for yourself. But do let me know what you think!! 🙂

Have you already read the book? Be sure to share it with someone who could use it!

Love and Inspiration,

Heather


Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!

Let’s kick some butt together!!

August 23, 2016 | Posted in Challenges, Education, Family, Feel Good, General, Learning, Live Events, Personal Development | By

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I am hosting a self defense class with Impact Martial Arts & Fitness. It’s only $10. to come and learn how to protect yourself against attackers!

100% of the money collected goes to Hope 4 Us Housing Corp which provides free construction training and job placement for local people in need!

Bring your friends, kids, spouse, co-workers, neighbors, young people heading off to college… EVERYONE needs to know how to keep themselves safe!

Here is the link to sign up for the self-defense class, and please share the event:

SELF DEFENSE CLASS, SEPTEMBER 10TH, 2:00PM, SYRACUSE, NY

I am so beyond excited for this class… and to be able to support such a wonderful charity! Please join me!

Love,

Heather

PS:
The Life Coach training course is sold out, but you can still get my FREE 6 day mini-coaching course for free!

You can literally transform your family and life with the free course…. and seriously… it’s FREE. So you have nothing to lose! Just click the button above and grab it now!


Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!

“I hate my kids! Now what?”

September 2, 2014 | Posted in Challenges, Change, Education, Family, General, Happiness, Kids, Learning, Moms, Parenting, Personal Development | By

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Happy September 1st everyone! I just returned from vacation down in the Outer Banks of North Carolina and we all had a great time! While I was there, forcing myself NOT to work, I had some thoughts about parenting. My mother in law made the comment, “I love how affectionate your kids are, and how much they obviously love you and love being around you!” It was a lovely comment and made me feel proud of the hard work that we have done to raise the kids the right. Yes, hard work…. let’s get serious, parenting is NOT easy! It’s not supposed to be easy. When you give your entire heart, and a literal piece of yourself to someone else, you will eventually get hurt, yet we love our kids unconditionally right? Not always!

I have heard many people stating that they “hate” their kids or step kids, and my opinion on this might surprise you. Hating your kids does NOT make you a bad parent. However, doing NOTHING about hating your kids does! Now I am not talking about the normal feelings of frustration that come from being a parent, I am talking about straight up hate. The kind of hate that makes a person go on Facebook to berate, belittle, and bash their own kids. There is something wrong with that. There is nothing wrong with venting, but there is everything wrong with launching a public tirade against those who should be able to trust you to protect them and their innocence.

If you hate your kids, you CAN like them again but it will take EFFORT on your part! YOU have to be the one to make changes, the kids won’t do it. The kids will not actively go to the book store and look up books about family happiness. They will simply turn away from the family, and look for something or something to replace what they are lacking. They will find it, in drugs, promiscuity, gangs, bad choices, and bad behavior. Sure, SOME kids will end up being “OK,” but are you willing to leave your kids future to chance? You want them to visit with grand-babies when they are adults, not excommunicate themselves from you.

Pick up a book, join a parenting group, take some classes, enroll in a workshop, and do whatever it takes to learn how to like your kids again! I personally offer several options like coaching, and my You’re Not My Real Mom eCourse as well. There are countless options for learning how to build better bonds with your children.

Thad and I have personally taken in several children who needed help and support. Not one of those kids are “bad” kids. They just needed support, empathy, and someone with a desire to LEARN how to help them. Each child had different needs, but the common need they ALL had was for love. It’s easier when you know how to do it. Commit to learning how to be a kick ass parent. Spend as much time learning as you can…. there are NO limitations to how much you can learn! You will be amazed how EASY it can be to turn your family life around when you learn and apply new techniques.

So today, please reach out to me, or check out my parenting support if you need help in your family! YOU are the change your family needs!

Please feel free to leave a comment with YOUR thoughts about today’s post!


Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!