May 30, 2017 | Posted in Challenges, Communication, Family, General, Kids, Moms, Parenting, Relationships, Self-Esteem | By


I’m proud of something my daughter Carrie said, but I didn’t tell her I was proud, and here’s why…

So Carrie was invited to a party at her friends house. She was told the party would be totally unchaperoned!

( No parents. No rules. No freakin way right!? )

Carrie came home from school and this is what she said to me:

“Mom, I feel sad because all my friends are having a party and I’m not going. There will be no parents at the party, so I’m not going…. and I know I wouldn’t be allowed to go anyway, but really I don’t want to with no adults.”  

No. This was not a dream! My 15 year old daughter really said this to me! And my reply….

“I’m sorry you feel sad about missing the party. It sounds like you are making a great choice! How do you feel about that?” 

She told me that she felt proud of herself and I offered her a hug which she took!

Oh man… what a proud mommy moment!

I have lots of proud moments with her and I do tell her I am proud of her sometimes, but emotional intelligence is all about helping kids build their own self esteem, and self pride so they will make the right choices all on their own!

  • Kids make better choices when they want to be proud of themselves vs. just making their parents proud.
  • Kids make better choices when they are coached through challenges vs. being forced into submission.
  • Kids make better choices when they see emotional intelligence modeled for them.
  • Kids make better choices when they know how to explain their feelings instead of acting on them!

Listen, if you are pregnant, or your children are small, it’s easier to start “emotion coaching” your children now while they are still so impressionable.

If you have teens, it’s not too late, but it is much harder! If you need help, please just hit reply to this email and I am happy to talk to you about how coaching could help you and your family!

In the meantime, instead of making all the decisions for your kids: 

  • Give them age appropriate responsibility and ask them how they feel about their choices!
  • Take an interest in how they feel about things, not just the situation.
  • And when possible, let natural consequences happen instead of punishing.

Have a super duper rest of your week!!

And don’t forget… if you are struggling in your relationship, you need to check out today before there is no relationship left to repair!  

What do you think about today’s post? Hit reply to this email and let me know!

With love, gratitude, and inspiration,

Heather Paris

Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!

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