17200367_10211747278293290_1003290547_oRecently a client asked me “How can I instill a sense of pride in my kid?”

My answer: “Stop telling them you are proud of them every time they do something!” 

No really. Just stop. Here’s why.

When we over praise, we teach kids that they should be doing things for us, for the validation, and not for their own self satisfaction.

It also teaches them that their worth is equated to what they do, produce, or achieve.

Trade your praise for love and affection and ask your child how they feel about their own performance instead.

The picture shown here is the inside of a card that I sent to our daughter Madison. She is 22 and just got a great job! I am proud of her…. but not because she got a great job.

I am proud of her because she’s my daughter and I love her. 

It may sound like such a small distinction but when your child fails at something, and they will, they will believe they have let you down, and that they are not worthy of your affection or love if you only praise achievements.

I see it every single day and it breaks my heart.

So instead of praising your kiddo all of the time, try this instead.

Ask them: “How do you feel you did?” Then respond to their feelings.

There is definitely a time and place for praising your kiddos! I like to praise them when they do acts of kindness that you wouldn’t normally expect. Like seeing a woman in the grocery store dropping items and running over to help, or offering their own money to someone in need and so on.

Even then, be sure to ask them how those acts made them feel! Allow them to grow a sense of pride in themselves by advocating for their success without over praising. Then, instead of praising, try saying something like “That was beautiful to see, thank you!”

Let me know your thoughts or please do share your story at the bottom of the page!

Experience has made me wise, coaching has shown me how to share that wisdom.

If you are ready to join the mission to raise emotional intelligence and teach others how to as well, please learn more about the Live Inspired Now Coach Training and get your FREE 6 Day Mini Coaching Course:

Live Inspired Now Coach Training Course

You can use your experience, combined with the skills you learn to help your children, students, friends, family members, or your community!

Join us today and share your gift with the world! 

Love and inspiration,

Heather Paris


Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!

HEATHER PARIS
Educator, Motivational Speaker & Best-Selling Author
Call now: 607-269-7815 or email: Heather@liveinspirednow.com

Students LOVE Heather’s positive message! Teachers and administrators LOVE
Heather’s solutions!

Students need to know they have the power to change their future!

HEATHER’S MESSAGE:

Not only did Heather survive being an awkward teenager who suffered from “oh my Gosh, please don’t notice me” and “wait, why doesn’t anyone notice me,” but she turned those anxiety filled years into a light-hearted, and inspirational talk. Your group of teens will connect, engage, laugh, and appreciate Heather’s family friendly, positive message of empowerment!

Heather is a best selling author, family life coach, and youth speaker, and she shares her message of inspiration all over the world.

Your students will learn about:
• Making Positive Choices
• Handling Peer Pressure
• Healthy Self-Expression
• Overcoming Challenges
• Leadership

Questions, comments, or to book Heather now:
Call us:
1-607-269-7815
Email us: heather@liveinspirednow.com

REVIEWS:

Tina Nilsen-Hodges, Principal New Roots Charter School
“Ms. Paris is deeply compassionate and generous with her time, resources and spirit in service to young people. Her unflagging positive energy and genuine interest in students supported their success, even and especially when events outside of school threatened to derail them. I am deeply appreciative of her contributions to New Roots Charter School in our first two “start up” years, when talents and her commitment to service were invaluable to our schools growth and development.”

Natalie Krone, President NYS Phi Beta Lambda
“Heather was the keynote speaker to the student leadership conference held by the Future Business Leaders of America – Phi Beta Lambda, NYS chapter. I couldn’t have had a better speaker to remind the students to go after their passion. She was funny, down to earth and was easy to get swept away by listening to her stories. She is a true inspiration and genuinely caring individual who shows everyone that she too is human and not perfect. I highly suggest going to see her speak and follow her on social media sites for her words of wisdom. She will help remind you of what’s important in life. Thank you Heather for being so inspiring!!”

Jim Schreck, WNYR Program Director, Morning Host
“The first time I met Heather Paris, I knew I had to get her on the air. The story of how she turned her life around was so inspiring and so relatable to my audience, that I lobbied strongly for a regular appearance. Heather offers both common sense and unconventional strategies designed to lift people from where they are, to where they want to be. And, she does all of this with a positive infectious attitude. As a speaker, she would be an asset to any gathering.”

Laurie Strough-Smith, Life Stylist; Red Inspiring
“Heather’s passion and dedication to today’s youth shines through in everything she says and does, both on stage and in person! She is inspiring, encouraging, and really easy to relate to!”

RR, Age 15
“Mrs. Paris has made me realize that my education is important and I should treat myself with more respect. Even though I have made mistakes in my life, that doesn’t mean that I have to continue to make those same mistakes.”

Dawn Thurmond, Special Education Teacher
“The students loved her and always ask when she is coming back for another visit. Heather’s positive attitude, fun energy, and great stories keep kids engaged, and eager to make better choices!”

 

WORK WITH HEATHER
Questions, comments, or to book Heather now:
Call us:
1-607-269-7815
Email us: heather@liveinspirednow.com


Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!