When to speak up and when to MYOB…

February 6, 2018 | Posted in Communication, Family, General, Honesty, Kids, Moms, Parenting, Personal Development | By

I get this question often, “When should I speak up, and when should I just mind my own business?” 

In fact, I often wonder that myself. As a coach, I’m almost always ready to jump in to help but is it always my business to do so?

I’ve discovered a sure fire way to know 100% of the time when you should speak up versus butting out…. 

Just ask!

I have adult children, so the opportunity to impart my own wisdom comes up often when I see my child struggling but I’ve learned that offering unsolicited advice is the best way to get someone to ignore it!

So now, I just ask if they want my help/advice/opinion.

If they say yes, then I give them my input.

If they say no, I leave it alone but let them know they are welcome to come to me if they need me.

During a conversation with my friend Carol (who inspired this post) she told me that someone once said to her, “You can listen to me with your head or your heart.” 

I think that is a brilliant statement and I’ve tweaked it a little to use when you have to deliver UNsolicited advice because let’s face it, sometimes we just have to intervene:

“You can listen to me with your ego or your heart, but please know that I am giving my opinion because I care about you and wish the best for you.” 

Your unsolicited advice will be more well received if you make your intentions clear in the beginning.

I can’t tell you how many kids believe their parents give advice to make their lives miserable and not because they actually care. Let them know you care!

Remember, the best advice is advice that is welcomed! 🙂

If you find this content helpful, please share it! Sharing is inspiring! 

Have a super week! Don’t forget to register for the upcoming 1 day relationship retreat at beautiful del Lago Resort and Casino in Waterloo, NY!

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We only have space for 3 more couples so if you are interested, act NOW!! Get more info here!!!  Or hit reply to this email! 

With love, gratitude, and inspiration,

Heather Paris
www.liveinspirednow.com 
Email me: heather@liveinspirednow.com

Coaching is a holistic alternative to therapy. It’s fast, affordable, and highly effective! Just hit reply to this email if you’d like to know how coaching could help you or your family!


Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!

Your kids want you to know….

June 13, 2017 | Posted in Anxiety, Change, Family, General, Happiness, Kids, Moms, Parenting, Stress | By

mental-physical

Your kiddo would like you to know that when YOU feel good, THEY feel good!!!

It really is that simple.

Parents over work and under take care of themselves so they can “provide” for the family but what the kid really wants is for you to be happy.

In fact, every kid I talk to cares more about their parents happiness than they do about their cell phones. They would give up all their electronic toys if it meant their parents would smile, laugh, and spend quality time with them.

Your kids will only ever be as OK as you are! 

Stress rolls downhill! If you are stressed so are they. And blanket statements like “I have to work to provide all the nice things you have!” does not negate their stress!

Think about that. No really think about it……….

When was the last time someone stressed themselves out for you and you felt good about it? 

Likely, never! Unless you’re a sociopath (and you’re not) you would never want someone else to be stressed to the max for you! You would feel horrible!

So. Take better care of yourself. There is a 100% link between mental health and physical health.

Work less, workout more…. and ask the kids to join you! You don’t have to go kill it at a gym… just take a walk, or a hike together!

Eat less, cook more…. and ask the kids to join you in the kitchen! You don’t have to prepare a 5 course meal… but cook a healthy meal instead of grabbing take out all of the time.

Your kids want you to spend time with them more than they want you to spend money on them. So cut the stress and hug your babies! Listen… they move out on their own far quicker than you realize!

You don’t want them to reach 18 and be dying to leave the house because it’s so stressful! You want them to feel bittersweet… happy to start a new adventure, but also miss you! That way they come back to visit!

With love, gratitude, and inspiration,

Heather Paris

UPDATE: I’ve lost 40 pounds which is 160 pounds of pressure off my joints!! I feel amazing and have loads of energy, and I’ve seen a shift in my own kids and how they are eating as well!!!


Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!

The Teen Party With NO Adult Chaperones….

May 30, 2017 | Posted in Challenges, Communication, Family, General, Kids, Moms, Parenting, Relationships, Self-Esteem | By

SMALLLOGO

I’m proud of something my daughter Carrie said, but I didn’t tell her I was proud, and here’s why…

So Carrie was invited to a party at her friends house. She was told the party would be totally unchaperoned!

( No parents. No rules. No freakin way right!? )

Carrie came home from school and this is what she said to me:

“Mom, I feel sad because all my friends are having a party and I’m not going. There will be no parents at the party, so I’m not going…. and I know I wouldn’t be allowed to go anyway, but really I don’t want to with no adults.”  

No. This was not a dream! My 15 year old daughter really said this to me! And my reply….

“I’m sorry you feel sad about missing the party. It sounds like you are making a great choice! How do you feel about that?” 

She told me that she felt proud of herself and I offered her a hug which she took!

Oh man… what a proud mommy moment!

I have lots of proud moments with her and I do tell her I am proud of her sometimes, but emotional intelligence is all about helping kids build their own self esteem, and self pride so they will make the right choices all on their own!

  • Kids make better choices when they want to be proud of themselves vs. just making their parents proud.
  • Kids make better choices when they are coached through challenges vs. being forced into submission.
  • Kids make better choices when they see emotional intelligence modeled for them.
  • Kids make better choices when they know how to explain their feelings instead of acting on them!

Listen, if you are pregnant, or your children are small, it’s easier to start “emotion coaching” your children now while they are still so impressionable.

If you have teens, it’s not too late, but it is much harder! If you need help, please just hit reply to this email and I am happy to talk to you about how coaching could help you and your family!

In the meantime, instead of making all the decisions for your kids: 

  • Give them age appropriate responsibility and ask them how they feel about their choices!
  • Take an interest in how they feel about things, not just the situation.
  • And when possible, let natural consequences happen instead of punishing.

Have a super duper rest of your week!!

And don’t forget… if you are struggling in your relationship, you need to check out www.diyrelationshiprepair.com today before there is no relationship left to repair!  

What do you think about today’s post? Hit reply to this email and let me know!

With love, gratitude, and inspiration,

Heather Paris


Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!

Why you should stop telling your kid you are proud of them!

March 7, 2017 | Posted in Family, General, Kids, Parenting, Self-Esteem | By

17200367_10211747278293290_1003290547_oRecently a client asked me “How can I instill a sense of pride in my kid?”

My answer: “Stop telling them you are proud of them every time they do something!” 

No really. Just stop. Here’s why.

When we over praise, we teach kids that they should be doing things for us, for the validation, and not for their own self satisfaction.

It also teaches them that their worth is equated to what they do, produce, or achieve.

Trade your praise for love and affection and ask your child how they feel about their own performance instead.

The picture shown here is the inside of a card that I sent to our daughter Madison. She is 22 and just got a great job! I am proud of her…. but not because she got a great job.

I am proud of her because she’s my daughter and I love her. 

It may sound like such a small distinction but when your child fails at something, and they will, they will believe they have let you down, and that they are not worthy of your affection or love if you only praise achievements.

I see it every single day and it breaks my heart.

So instead of praising your kiddo all of the time, try this instead.

Ask them: “How do you feel you did?” Then respond to their feelings.

There is definitely a time and place for praising your kiddos! I like to praise them when they do acts of kindness that you wouldn’t normally expect. Like seeing a woman in the grocery store dropping items and running over to help, or offering their own money to someone in need and so on.

Even then, be sure to ask them how those acts made them feel! Allow them to grow a sense of pride in themselves by advocating for their success without over praising. Then, instead of praising, try saying something like “That was beautiful to see, thank you!”

Let me know your thoughts or please do share your story at the bottom of the page!

Experience has made me wise, coaching has shown me how to share that wisdom.

If you are ready to join the mission to raise emotional intelligence and teach others how to as well, please learn more about the Live Inspired Now Coach Training and get your FREE 6 Day Mini Coaching Course:

Live Inspired Now Coach Training Course

You can use your experience, combined with the skills you learn to help your children, students, friends, family members, or your community!

Join us today and share your gift with the world! 

Love and inspiration,

Heather Paris


Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!