Do you know the difference between self care and self medicating? If not, that could be the reason your “self care” isn’t working!
Self care is preventative. Self medicating occurs during emotional crisis.
Self medicating happens when you’ve become exhausted, resentful, or upset. You’ve taken care of everyone else and no one cared back. Now you are “rewarding” yourself with something destructive because you are pissed off, sick of it all, or determined to give a giant middle finger to the world as pay back and you feel completely justified in doing so!
I’ve been there too. There is a better way.
Self care happens BEFORE you give every ounce of yourself. In fact, it happens before you are even the slightest bit uncomfortable. And if you do it preventatively, you are FAR less likely to ever self medicate again.
Self medicating is trying to make yourself temporarily feel better at the expense of your health or well being. It’s like trying to fill your cup with an eye dropper while allowing everyone else to drink out of it! There’s never enough!
These are some examples of self medicating especially when done in excess:
- Gambling
- Drinking
- Drug use
- Sexual deviance
- Spending money aka retail therapy
- Going outside of your relationship
- Stealing / Lying
- Eating
If there is a chance that you’ll feel terrible after, you could get arrested, you could lose your job, relationship, or integrity, you are self medicating.
Self care is identifying your needs and meeting them in positive and healthy ways. It’s keeping your cup full and allowing others to have whatever flows over the edge.
Some examples of self care:
- Meditating
- Yoga or exercise
- Taking a walk
- Deep breathing / fresh outdoor air
- Visiting people you love
- Calling a lifeline: friend, coach, parent, etc.
- Body work: massage, facial, mani/pedi
- Taking a bath
- Trying something new / adventure
- Smiling (totally under-rated)
- Snuggles with a pet or loved one
- Cup of tea
- Reading a book / learning something new
When you take care of yourself, you teach others how to care for you too! You’ll feel better about any challenges that come your way, and you give other people permission to care for themselves as well… especially your kiddos who are watching and modeling everything you do!
Self care is not a luxury, it’s mandatory if you want to live your best, healthiest, and happiest life!
What is your favorite thing to do for self care? Comment below and let me know!
Follow our adventures on Instagram (@heatherparis) and Facebook!
With love, gratitude, and inspiration,
Heather Paris
607-269-7815
www.liveinspirednow.com
Email me: heather@liveinspirednow.com
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
Do you know what it means to get the “itch?” It’s definitely not something gross to scratch, it’s not even something physical. It’s that feeling you get when you are ready for a change.
Personally, every couple of years or so, I get itchy for something new!
Growing up as an Army brat, then a military wife, I became quite used to moving every 2-3 years. I’ve had more than 40 addresses in my 45 years on the planet!
Before I was self aware, that “itch” would present itself in destructive ways. Because I didn’t know that I just needed some change, I would often self sabotage my life or even my relationships and that provided enough drama to suffice for change.
Thank goodness I know much better now and make healthier choices but some people are still trapped in that cycle of meeting their needs for adventure or change in unhealthy ways.
When Thad and I bought our dream home here in New York, we decided that this would be home base… no more moving!
While that is still a little scary to me because I’ve never lived anywhere for more than a few years, I am happy to have a “home base.” But because I know every couple of years I will start to get the itch to move, I’ve found healthy ways to meet that need.
In fact, this weekend, I changed a lot of things! I completely renovated my office, I moved furniture around in the house, and I re-organized!
It may sound small, but to me it was HUGE! Since I’ve decided not to move anymore, moving the furniture and redecorating is a fun way for me to feel the change without uprooting my entire family!
What do YOU do when you feel like you need something different?
Finding healthy ways to fill you needs could save you from self destructive decisions, and can make you feel much happier!
Here are just a few suggestions for meeting your need for change but the sky is the limit! Are you the type of person with a HUGE need for change, or are you happy with small changes? Hopefully some of these will excite you:
- Move your furniture
- Paint a room a new color
- Skydive
- Plan a trip
- Try a new exotic restaurant
- Plan a surprise for your partner
- Play hooky from work and school
- Drive a different way to work
- Volunteer
- Buy hats & scarves and leave them in the park for homeless people
- Plan a ceremony to renew your wedding vows
- Do an art project
- Make a bucket list
- Try a sensory deprivation tank
- Go to the local animal shelter and play with the adoptable animals
- Take a class or workshop
- Read a new book
- Test drive a cool car
Whatever you decide to do, be sure it’s something that’s healthy, empowering, and super fun!
The best thing you will ever do is to become emotionally aware of your needs and learn to meet them in the most positive ways possible!
Have a super happy week!
Much love and inspiration,
Heather
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!