If this doesn’t get me kicked off the PTA, nothing will!

February 6, 2017 | Posted in Education, Family, Kids, Learning, Moms, Parenting | By

Do you know a “spoiled rotten kid?” C’mon, we all do… or have at least witnessed one, mid temper tantrum, in the store, crying over the newest candy bar, toy, or cell phone! 

Seriously, I think that may be the #1 topic people ask me about…. entitled kids!

I could write for days on the topic but I will try to reel it in with a few simple tips.

Tips to prevent raising entitled kids:

#1 Keep the praise to a minimum to raise a quality kid!

Yes, I did just say that! Stop complimenting everything breath they take. When you over praise, you set your kiddo up to seek external validation rather than learning self pride or appreciation.

Instead of praising, ask your kiddo some questions! Next time lil Johnny brings you his school project, instead of endlessly gushing, ask him how HE feels he did. Ask him what his favorite part of the project was. Or you could ask him what part he is most proud of, or what part he struggled with and how did he overcome the struggle.

#2 Reward with attention, not stuff!

If your kid deserves some praise or a reward, then offer them some quality time! And I’m not talking about the time it takes to go to the store to buy them stuff.

I mean go to the park and play hide and seek to celebrate together. Or go build a fort together. Or play a game, go for a walk, bake a cake, people watch, play mini golf, or even just sit and enjoy an ice cream cone together while talking!

I promise you… they will NEVER remember the toy you bought them when they were 6 but they WILL remember the quality time you spent with them, and how loved they felt.

#3 Say NO once in a while!

Just because you can afford something, doesn’t mean you should buy it. Telling you kiddo NO is a good thing because it teaches them patience and appreciation.

Just because Apple came out with the brand new version of the iPhone, doesn’t mean your kiddo should have it, even if it’s not a financial burden to get it. Remember that old anti-drug slogan from the 80’s? Just say NO!

#4 If you want them to act responsibly, you have to give them responsibility!

Thad and I are always amazed by the amount of responsibility some kids have in 3rd world countries. Kids at 7 years old are out hustling for money… shining shoes, carrying bags… whatever it takes.

It’s terribly sad that some kids are forced too young to hustle for food and resources, but it’s even more sad that some kids sit around and do nothing while being showered with praise and presents.

Give your kiddos some responsibility! All ages, even toddlers can participate in cleaning or picking up, loading things into the dishwasher, and helping out around the house.

If you start them young, they learn to contribute to their family because that’s what family members do. Not because they are getting a reward! Throw out the star sticker chart and start handing out hugs and thank-you’s!

#5 Allowance: Yes or No?

People ask me this a lot too. I don’t believe in giving an allowance, and I’ve never given allowance to my kids. I do however think it’s important to teach them to earn. I have paid my kids to do some things above and beyond their normal responsibilities. BUT… I do not nag, or bribe, I give them an opportunity to learn and earn.

Simply put, I let them know that I have a job available, how much it pays, and if one of them is interested, they can see me about it. I let them know the requirements, and if they do the job, I pay them. Simple.

Some examples have been:

  • Cleaning out the car
  • Foot rubs
  • Packing up books to send out to customers
  • Shampooing the dog
  • Organizing my bookshelf
  • Sweeping the patio
  • (My mom used to pay me to pull her grey hairs out. lol. I hope she doesn’t kill me for sharing that!)
  • etc….

I also think it’s important to teach them about money… how much to save for short and long term, and what to spend. (But that’s a whole different topic for another day!)

The point…. stop showering your kids with undue praise and rewards.

Instead, give them wings to fly so when the time comes, they leave the nest to do good in the world and eventually return for visits with adorable grand babies! 😉

If you know a parent who is struggling, please forward this to them and offer a kind word. Everyone needs a little inspiration now and then!

Experience has made me wise, coaching has shown me how to share that wisdom.

If you are ready to join the mission to increase emotional intelligence and teach others how to as well, please learn more about the Live Inspired Now Coach Training which is open again for enrollment! Live Inspired Now Coach Training Course

You can use your experience, combined with the skills you learn to give your children an advantage when they go out into the world, you can share what you learn with students, friends, family members, or your community!

Join us and be a gift to the world! 

Love and inspiration,

Heather Paris


Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!

Keep them safe not comfortable…

September 13, 2016 | Posted in Challenges, Family, General, Kids, Learning, Moms, Parenting, Self-Esteem | By

safenotcomfortable
Lately it seems most of my clients are parents so I thought I would pass along the wisdom I have shared several times this week!

You are responsible for keeping your kids safe, not comfortable!

We all want our kids to be happy and healthy, and we never want them to suffer. But sometimes we mistake “suffering” for discomfort.

Discomfort is appropriate and healthy. Discomfort creates an environment for kids to learn how to self soothe, take responsibility, and discover their own strengths. 

Here are a few tips to creating and allowing an appropriate level of discomfort:

  • Allow your kids to complete their own homework, or projects without your input
  • Don’t always rush out to their school to bring them what they forgot at home
  • Encourage your kids to try new things
  • Assign household responsibilities (aka chores)
  • Instead of giving your opinion, ask them what THEY think
  • Ask for their advice, input, or opinion on family matters (not critical issues)
  • Use natural consequences instead of punishments
  • Use boundaries instead of discipline
  • Stop over praising and start asking them how THEY think they did, look, performed, etc…

Remember when they were toddlers and kept falling down while they were learning to walk? Those falls eventually turned into strength and balance! 

Let’s be honest, raising kids is the hardest thing you will ever do! It was hard to watch them fall as toddlers, and it’s hard to watch them struggle as teenagers, But it’s worth it when you know they are prepared for the tough world that’s full of challenges!

There are easy solutions to most parenting challenges, all you have to do is reach out and ask for help! Another quick tip… if you can, ask for help BEFORE it becomes critical!

If you are in Upstate New York, please check out this FREE event:

3 Exceptional Talks at the Family Wellness Event that will change your life:

  • Raise your kids GPA! by Special Education Teacher Katie Dennis
  • Get your teenagers engaged in a positive passion! by 15 yr old life coach Carrie Deaville
  • Fix your damaged or dying relationship! presented by Me!

September 22nd, 5:30 – 7:30pm at NaturTyme
Register, share, and get more info here! Bring a friend too! 

You already love your kids, but now you can actually like them too! 😉 

Love,

Heather


Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!

HIRE HEATHER TO SPEAK

April 14, 2016 | Posted in General | By

HEATHER PARIS
Motivational Youth Speaker & Best-Selling Author

Students LOVE Heather’s positive message! Teachers and administrators LOVE
Heather’s solutions!

Students need to know they have the power to change their future!

HEATHER’S MESSAGE:

Heather Paris has been called the “teen whisperer” by many parents!

Not only did Heather survive being an awkward teenager who suffered from “oh my Gosh, please don’t notice me” and “wait, why doesn’t anyone notice me,” but she turned those anxiety filled years into a light-hearted, and inspirational talk. Your group of teens will connect, engage, laugh, and appreciate Heather’s family friendly, positive message of empowerment!

Heather is a best selling author, family life coach, and youth speaker, and she shares her message of inspiration all over the world.

Your students will learn about:
• Making Positive Choices
• Handling Peer Pressure
• Healthy Self-Expression
• Overcoming Challenges
• Leadership

Questions, comments, or to book Heather now:
Call us:
1-607-269-7815
Email us: heather@liveinspirednow.com

REVIEWS:

Tina Nilsen-Hodges, Principal New Roots Charter School
“Ms. Paris is deeply compassionate and generous with her time, resources and spirit in service to young people. Her unflagging positive energy and genuine interest in students supported their success, even and especially when events outside of school threatened to derail them. I am deeply appreciative of her contributions to New Roots Charter School in our first two “start up” years, when talents and her commitment to service were invaluable to our schools growth and development.”

Natalie Krone, President NYS Phi Beta Lambda
“Heather was the keynote speaker to the student leadership conference held by the Future Business Leaders of America – Phi Beta Lambda, NYS chapter. I couldn’t have had a better speaker to remind the students to go after their passion. She was funny, down to earth and was easy to get swept away by listening to her stories. She is a true inspiration and genuinely caring individual who shows everyone that she too is human and not perfect. I highly suggest going to see her speak and follow her on social media sites for her words of wisdom. She will help remind you of what’s important in life. Thank you Heather for being so inspiring!!”

Jim Schreck, WNYR Program Director, Morning Host
“The first time I met Heather Paris, I knew I had to get her on the air. The story of how she turned her life around was so inspiring and so relatable to my audience, that I lobbied strongly for a regular appearance. Heather offers both common sense and unconventional strategies designed to lift people from where they are, to where they want to be. And, she does all of this with a positive infectious attitude. As a speaker, she would be an asset to any gathering.”

Laurie Strough-Smith, Life Stylist; Red Inspiring
“Heather’s passion and dedication to today’s youth shines through in everything she says and does, both on stage and in person! She is inspiring, encouraging, and really easy to relate to!”

RR, Age 15
“Mrs. Paris has made me realize that my education is important and I should treat myself with more respect. Even though I have made mistakes in my life, that doesn’t mean that I have to continue to make those same mistakes.”

Dawn Thurmond, Special Education Teacher
“The students loved her and always ask when she is coming back for another visit. Heather’s positive attitude, fun energy, and great stories keep kids engaged, and eager to make better choices!”

 

WORK WITH HEATHER
Questions, comments, or to book Heather now:
Call us:
1-607-269-7815
Email us: heather@liveinspirednow.com


Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!

How to get kids to do better in school!

March 31, 2015 | Posted in Family, Kids, Moms, Parenting, Videos | By

Heather Paris teaches us her tip to getting the kids to perform better in school… and even get on honor roll! One simple phrase can make all the difference! Watch today’s video and learn the secret to unlocking your kids potential!

What do you think? Leave a comment…


Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!