Years ago, when I was in an unhealthy relationship, I was desperate to find a way to fix it, until I could no longer stand it, then I was desperate to find a way out.
I was so consumed with trying to find a way out and I was so focused on how unhappy I was, that I could never really see any options.
Have you ever felt that lost? I remember sitting in my car with my BFF and just balling my eyes and telling her I just wanted things to be different. I wanted to love, or even would have settled for “liking” my spouse again, but I just didn’t. I felt so trapped, like I was doomed to stay in a state of limbo.
One day, while driving in my car, it all became clear to me. It was like the sun shone directly on me and opened up my soul or something!
And in that moment, for a brief time, I wasn’t consumed with misery and despair, so clarity finally had room to flood in.
It was me… I had been preventing my own growth because I had only been focusing on the problem… and not taking any responsibility for my relationship.
Blaming others, feeling bad, and focusing on my own misery, were the very things holding me back from making a change and fixing my own life! All my excuses seemed to fade away and I realized that I had 3 options to choose from:
- Stay and be miserable.
- Stay and be happy.
- Leave.
Stay and be miserable was what I had been doing and it wasn’t working, so that option was a big fat NO!
Stay and be happy didn’t work either. I’d love to say I was strong enough to “just love” someone who was acting unlovable, but I wasn’t. No matter how much I tried, prayed, meditated, etc… in my heart, I knew that I couldn’t stay. It wasn’t good for me, or for him, and it certainly wasn’t good for the kids.
Leaving was the kindest option and so I left. I felt free. I felt alive again. I felt like I liked myself again. I could breathe. I could remember what made me happy. I could be a better example. I could heal.
I had resisted leaving for a long time because I didn’t know how things would work logistically.
- How would I make it as a single mom?
- How would I pay my bills?
- How would I take care of a big house alone?
The truth was, all these things worked themselves out. It took time, and it was terrifying. But it all worked out. I handled everything that came my way!
Things always work out for the greater good when we focus on truth instead of fear.
I have no regrets. I’ve made tons of mistakes in the past, but I am deeply grateful for every single one of them because it brought me to this moment to share what I have learned.
I am now living and loving every little bit of my life and if someone had told me that back then, I would’ve never believed it!
Stop blaming, making excuses, and focusing on the negative. Take a good hard look at your decisions, actions, behaviors, thoughts, words, and choices and see how YOU are the solution to your problems!
You are not the problem, you are the SOLUTION to the problem!
I hope you will look forward in faith and make the decision to challenge yourself to make the changes you need to love your life again!
I know you can handle it, and I look forward to hearing about your success!
Experience has made me wise, coaching has shown me how to share that wisdom.
If you are ready to turn your life around and teach others how to as well, please learn more about the Live Inspired Now Coach Training which is open again for enrollment! Live Inspired Now Coach Training Course
You can use your experience, combined with the skills you learn to give your children an advantage when they go out into the world, you can share what you learn with students, friends, family members, or your community!
Join us and be a gift to the world!
Love and inspiration,
Heather Paris
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
Seriously!? What the hell else could go wrong this week??? I’m afraid to find out!!!
This week Thad and I had a flat tire on a remote rural road while almost running out of gas.
That night, we got a call at midnight from our son Harry saying his basement was flooded and smelled like something was burning. (The sump pump burned out, and Thad went and fixed it so no worries now!)
The next day, a cabinet fell off the wall in my kitchen! (Did the previous owner seriously have a purple kitchen?)
Then the next day brought a broken pipe from our upstairs bathroom which led to a ceiling collapse in Thad’s office underneath!
REALLY?!?
Life happens, and when it happens to suck… LEAN IN!!
Many relationships fail because people give in to their feelings and forget that a partner is just that… a partner, not a punching bag for hurt feelings!
Lean in when times are tough and find respite in your partner. And BE a place of respite for your partner too!
Don’t let the chaos of life be enough to pull you apart. Here are a few tips to remember when life gets suckish:
- Create a plan! You can handle things easier if you have some steps to follow.
- Don’t take your anger or frustrations out on your partner.
- Focus on the things that are going well!
- Support, encourage, and love your partner even more than usual.
- Ease up on some of your regular responsibilities to give yourself time for the new challenge.
- If you can’t fix it right now, at least make it neat and tidy! (Neat and tidy just feels better.)
- Get perspective by helping out someone who is going through much worse.
- Your feelings are valid. Explain them and vent before moving on.
- Reach out to the friends and family members that can be compassionate and supportive.
- Celebrate the chaos. That’s right…. have an open house or a small party to celebrate the challenge. It might not make sense to people but won’t it feel better than complaining about it?
Life is not happening TO you. It’s not even happening FOR you. Life is just happening and the best part is that WE get to decide how we respond to it!
I hope you will choose to lean in with your partner, be grateful for the blessings, and take each challenges one things at a time!
So far, you have a 100% success rate of surviving every single challenge that has ever come your way! You rock!
Please share and leave a comment at:
Love,
Heather
REGISTER NOW… IT’S FREE!!
September 22nd, 5:30 – 7:30pm at NaturTyme
3 Exceptional Talks at the Family Wellness Event that will change your life:
- Raise your kids GPA! by Special Education Teacher Katie Dennis
- Get your teenagers engaged in a positive passion! by 15 yr old life coach Carrie Deaville
- Fix your damaged or dying relationship! presented by Me!
Register, share, and get more info here! Bring a friend too!
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
Lately it seems most of my clients are parents so I thought I would pass along the wisdom I have shared several times this week!
You are responsible for keeping your kids safe, not comfortable!
We all want our kids to be happy and healthy, and we never want them to suffer. But sometimes we mistake “suffering” for discomfort.
Discomfort is appropriate and healthy. Discomfort creates an environment for kids to learn how to self soothe, take responsibility, and discover their own strengths.
Here are a few tips to creating and allowing an appropriate level of discomfort:
- Allow your kids to complete their own homework, or projects without your input
- Don’t always rush out to their school to bring them what they forgot at home
- Encourage your kids to try new things
- Assign household responsibilities (aka chores)
- Instead of giving your opinion, ask them what THEY think
- Ask for their advice, input, or opinion on family matters (not critical issues)
- Use natural consequences instead of punishments
- Use boundaries instead of discipline
- Stop over praising and start asking them how THEY think they did, look, performed, etc…
Remember when they were toddlers and kept falling down while they were learning to walk? Those falls eventually turned into strength and balance!
Let’s be honest, raising kids is the hardest thing you will ever do! It was hard to watch them fall as toddlers, and it’s hard to watch them struggle as teenagers, But it’s worth it when you know they are prepared for the tough world that’s full of challenges!
There are easy solutions to most parenting challenges, all you have to do is reach out and ask for help! Another quick tip… if you can, ask for help BEFORE it becomes critical!
If you are in Upstate New York, please check out this FREE event:
3 Exceptional Talks at the Family Wellness Event that will change your life:
- Raise your kids GPA! by Special Education Teacher Katie Dennis
- Get your teenagers engaged in a positive passion! by 15 yr old life coach Carrie Deaville
- Fix your damaged or dying relationship! presented by Me!
September 22nd, 5:30 – 7:30pm at NaturTyme
Register, share, and get more info here! Bring a friend too!
You already love your kids, but now you can actually like them too! 😉
Love,
Heather
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
Heather Paris teaches us her tip to getting the kids to perform better in school… and even get on honor roll! One simple phrase can make all the difference! Watch today’s video and learn the secret to unlocking your kids potential!
What do you think? Leave a comment…
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!