You are NOT the mood police…

July 10, 2017 | Posted in Challenges, Communication, Family, General, Happiness, Parenting, Relationships | By

3 different clients made me say these words this week:

“You are NOT the mood police!” 

This is one of the most prevalent challenges in our society today…. we feel the need to correct or fix the feelings of other people because we feel their bad mood is a reflection of us as a person.

Imagine this:

  1. Husband is in a cranky mood.
  2. Wife is irritated by husband’s cranky mood so she tries to make him feel happy.
  3. Husband doesn’t want to feel happy right now. He wants to be left alone to think for a bit.
  4. Wife gets even more irritated that husband won’t “snap out of it.”
  5. Wife feels rejected and becomes cranky.
  6. Husband and wife argue and it escalates from crankiness to anger and now they both retreat away from one another to stew in rejection and misery.
  7. Kids are now upset too because Mom and Dad are fighting again.
The End….. of their relationships if that happens enough!

It doesn’t have to be like this!

Imagine this instead:

  1. Husband is in a cranky mood.
  2. Wife asks if he’d like to talk about it.
  3. Husband says “No thank you, I’d prefer to have some time alone to stew.”
  4. Wife says “OK my love, take all the time you need.”
  5. Husband goes and has some alone time.
  6. Wife goes and plays with the kids.
  7. An hour later the husband emerges and thanks his wife for allowing him some time and they escalate into a supportive conversation about the days frustrations.
  8. Kids see a Mom and Dad lovingly supporting one another and feel happy and secure.
The End.

Other people are entitled to feel however they want to feel. It is not our job to constantly police moods, feelings, or emotions! And remember this…

Another persons emotions are NOT a reflection of you, your parenting, your relationship, your abilities, or your productivity! Your spouse does NOT love you because of what you provide. They love you because you are you! 

What does this topic mean to you? Just hit reply to this email and let me know! I can’t wait to hear your thoughts!

With love, gratitude, and inspiration,

Heather Paris

GUESS WHAT???? Coach training is now OPEN!!! Check it out now… space is limited, jump in now….  BECOME A COACH!!


Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!

Your kids want you to know….

June 13, 2017 | Posted in Anxiety, Change, Family, General, Happiness, Kids, Moms, Parenting, Stress | By

mental-physical

Your kiddo would like you to know that when YOU feel good, THEY feel good!!!

It really is that simple.

Parents over work and under take care of themselves so they can “provide” for the family but what the kid really wants is for you to be happy.

In fact, every kid I talk to cares more about their parents happiness than they do about their cell phones. They would give up all their electronic toys if it meant their parents would smile, laugh, and spend quality time with them.

Your kids will only ever be as OK as you are! 

Stress rolls downhill! If you are stressed so are they. And blanket statements like “I have to work to provide all the nice things you have!” does not negate their stress!

Think about that. No really think about it……….

When was the last time someone stressed themselves out for you and you felt good about it? 

Likely, never! Unless you’re a sociopath (and you’re not) you would never want someone else to be stressed to the max for you! You would feel horrible!

So. Take better care of yourself. There is a 100% link between mental health and physical health.

Work less, workout more…. and ask the kids to join you! You don’t have to go kill it at a gym… just take a walk, or a hike together!

Eat less, cook more…. and ask the kids to join you in the kitchen! You don’t have to prepare a 5 course meal… but cook a healthy meal instead of grabbing take out all of the time.

Your kids want you to spend time with them more than they want you to spend money on them. So cut the stress and hug your babies! Listen… they move out on their own far quicker than you realize!

You don’t want them to reach 18 and be dying to leave the house because it’s so stressful! You want them to feel bittersweet… happy to start a new adventure, but also miss you! That way they come back to visit!

With love, gratitude, and inspiration,

Heather Paris

UPDATE: I’ve lost 40 pounds which is 160 pounds of pressure off my joints!! I feel amazing and have loads of energy, and I’ve seen a shift in my own kids and how they are eating as well!!!


Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!

The Teen Party With NO Adult Chaperones….

May 30, 2017 | Posted in Challenges, Communication, Family, General, Kids, Moms, Parenting, Relationships, Self-Esteem | By

SMALLLOGO

I’m proud of something my daughter Carrie said, but I didn’t tell her I was proud, and here’s why…

So Carrie was invited to a party at her friends house. She was told the party would be totally unchaperoned!

( No parents. No rules. No freakin way right!? )

Carrie came home from school and this is what she said to me:

“Mom, I feel sad because all my friends are having a party and I’m not going. There will be no parents at the party, so I’m not going…. and I know I wouldn’t be allowed to go anyway, but really I don’t want to with no adults.”  

No. This was not a dream! My 15 year old daughter really said this to me! And my reply….

“I’m sorry you feel sad about missing the party. It sounds like you are making a great choice! How do you feel about that?” 

She told me that she felt proud of herself and I offered her a hug which she took!

Oh man… what a proud mommy moment!

I have lots of proud moments with her and I do tell her I am proud of her sometimes, but emotional intelligence is all about helping kids build their own self esteem, and self pride so they will make the right choices all on their own!

  • Kids make better choices when they want to be proud of themselves vs. just making their parents proud.
  • Kids make better choices when they are coached through challenges vs. being forced into submission.
  • Kids make better choices when they see emotional intelligence modeled for them.
  • Kids make better choices when they know how to explain their feelings instead of acting on them!

Listen, if you are pregnant, or your children are small, it’s easier to start “emotion coaching” your children now while they are still so impressionable.

If you have teens, it’s not too late, but it is much harder! If you need help, please just hit reply to this email and I am happy to talk to you about how coaching could help you and your family!

In the meantime, instead of making all the decisions for your kids: 

  • Give them age appropriate responsibility and ask them how they feel about their choices!
  • Take an interest in how they feel about things, not just the situation.
  • And when possible, let natural consequences happen instead of punishing.

Have a super duper rest of your week!!

And don’t forget… if you are struggling in your relationship, you need to check out www.diyrelationshiprepair.com today before there is no relationship left to repair!  

What do you think about today’s post? Hit reply to this email and let me know!

With love, gratitude, and inspiration,

Heather Paris


Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!

This may truly shock you….

April 4, 2017 | Posted in General | By

CryG-msWEAAT6RgYou are not at your job because they love you, you are only there because you do a job. You are replaceable.

You are not in your family because they need you to do a job, you are only there because they love you. You are irreplaceable.

DO NOT CONFUSE THESE.

Read it again, and let it hit you. Most people do not truly understand this. So please, let this message hit you! YOU are important and cannot be replaced in your family.

Please share this with someone who needs it, and comment to let me know how this feels to you!

If you’ve ever dreamed of helping people turn their lives around, create happiness, or fix their broken relationship or family…. then please consider joining the Live Inspired Now Coach Training!

Experience has made me wise, coaching has shown me how to share that wisdom.

Your friends already come to your for advice…. add these practical coaching strategies to your toolbox and blow your friends mind with your awesomeness! Become a life coach…. get paid for what you already do, and make a huge impact on your world!

Live Inspired Now Coach Training Course

You can use your experience, combined with the skills you learn to help your children, students, friends, family members, or your community!

Join us today and share your gift with the world! 

Love and inspiration,

Heather Paris


Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!

Why you should stop telling your kid you are proud of them!

March 7, 2017 | Posted in Family, General, Kids, Parenting, Self-Esteem | By

17200367_10211747278293290_1003290547_oRecently a client asked me “How can I instill a sense of pride in my kid?”

My answer: “Stop telling them you are proud of them every time they do something!” 

No really. Just stop. Here’s why.

When we over praise, we teach kids that they should be doing things for us, for the validation, and not for their own self satisfaction.

It also teaches them that their worth is equated to what they do, produce, or achieve.

Trade your praise for love and affection and ask your child how they feel about their own performance instead.

The picture shown here is the inside of a card that I sent to our daughter Madison. She is 22 and just got a great job! I am proud of her…. but not because she got a great job.

I am proud of her because she’s my daughter and I love her. 

It may sound like such a small distinction but when your child fails at something, and they will, they will believe they have let you down, and that they are not worthy of your affection or love if you only praise achievements.

I see it every single day and it breaks my heart.

So instead of praising your kiddo all of the time, try this instead.

Ask them: “How do you feel you did?” Then respond to their feelings.

There is definitely a time and place for praising your kiddos! I like to praise them when they do acts of kindness that you wouldn’t normally expect. Like seeing a woman in the grocery store dropping items and running over to help, or offering their own money to someone in need and so on.

Even then, be sure to ask them how those acts made them feel! Allow them to grow a sense of pride in themselves by advocating for their success without over praising. Then, instead of praising, try saying something like “That was beautiful to see, thank you!”

Let me know your thoughts or please do share your story at the bottom of the page!

Experience has made me wise, coaching has shown me how to share that wisdom.

If you are ready to join the mission to raise emotional intelligence and teach others how to as well, please learn more about the Live Inspired Now Coach Training and get your FREE 6 Day Mini Coaching Course:

Live Inspired Now Coach Training Course

You can use your experience, combined with the skills you learn to help your children, students, friends, family members, or your community!

Join us today and share your gift with the world! 

Love and inspiration,

Heather Paris


Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!