Once, many years ago, a friend of mine called me “obnoxious” because I always like to be doing things. I didn’t want to just stay home… I wanted to take road trips, go to conventions, and I always had some volunteering or service project that I was involved in.
She said it was obnoxious that I “always needed something to look forward to” as if I was never content and let me know that she believed she was far more “grounded” than I was.
It hurt my feelings. I felt judged for being an adventurer, and I felt rejected by her because she never cared enough to get involved in any of my projects, or even to ask about them.
The worst part of it all, was that I constantly questioned myself instead of looking at the source of the criticism. And that is common.
Criticism or judgment comes our way and we think “What’s wrong with ME” instead of asking ourselves “What’s wrong in this person’s life that they need to criticize me?”
I lived like a prisoner to the opinion of other people for far too long and I didn’t speak up because I was afraid of hearing “I don’t want to be your friend anymore!”
I let people who would insult me have power over me! That’s just crazy!
So I learned to be brave enough to live life my way. I hope you will too!
Here are a few tips to be brave enough to live life your way:
1 Keep it real. Let’s face it, if someone is willing to dump you because you have an opinion, then they don’t deserve to be in your life anyway! Upgrade your tribe!
2 Embrace your supporters! You DO have someone in your life that is always supportive…. embrace them, thank them, and invite them to the celebration of YOU!
3 Realize that judgment is nothing more than an opinion. And do you want to live by the opinion of someone else, especially if he’s a jerk? No way!
4 Try it! Action will always make you feel brave! Over-thinking or prolonged planning will only hold you back from taking that first step!
5 Be aware and accepting! It’s OK to be afraid of doing, being, or trying… don’t beat yourself up! Admit you are afraid, accept that fear is normal, and go for it while you are still afraid!
6 Nobody ever died from judgment or rejection! Allow yourself to feel sad, hurt, embarrassed or whatever and then move on!
A friend (a real friend) once said to me, “I admire you, You are always so brave, you don’t care what other people think!” I thought about that statement for a long time and responded… “I care what you think, but I no longer care what some people think. We only have limited, precious time on earth and I won’t squander that time on people that don’t appreciate me as I am.”
I honor who you are, and I hope you will honor YOU as well!
Love and Inspiration,
Heather
Want help with something you are struggling with? Contact me today!
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
Lately it seems most of my clients are parents so I thought I would pass along the wisdom I have shared several times this week!
You are responsible for keeping your kids safe, not comfortable!
We all want our kids to be happy and healthy, and we never want them to suffer. But sometimes we mistake “suffering” for discomfort.
Discomfort is appropriate and healthy. Discomfort creates an environment for kids to learn how to self soothe, take responsibility, and discover their own strengths.
Here are a few tips to creating and allowing an appropriate level of discomfort:
- Allow your kids to complete their own homework, or projects without your input
- Don’t always rush out to their school to bring them what they forgot at home
- Encourage your kids to try new things
- Assign household responsibilities (aka chores)
- Instead of giving your opinion, ask them what THEY think
- Ask for their advice, input, or opinion on family matters (not critical issues)
- Use natural consequences instead of punishments
- Use boundaries instead of discipline
- Stop over praising and start asking them how THEY think they did, look, performed, etc…
Remember when they were toddlers and kept falling down while they were learning to walk? Those falls eventually turned into strength and balance!
Let’s be honest, raising kids is the hardest thing you will ever do! It was hard to watch them fall as toddlers, and it’s hard to watch them struggle as teenagers, But it’s worth it when you know they are prepared for the tough world that’s full of challenges!
There are easy solutions to most parenting challenges, all you have to do is reach out and ask for help! Another quick tip… if you can, ask for help BEFORE it becomes critical!
If you are in Upstate New York, please check out this FREE event:
3 Exceptional Talks at the Family Wellness Event that will change your life:
- Raise your kids GPA! by Special Education Teacher Katie Dennis
- Get your teenagers engaged in a positive passion! by 15 yr old life coach Carrie Deaville
- Fix your damaged or dying relationship! presented by Me!
September 22nd, 5:30 – 7:30pm at NaturTyme
Register, share, and get more info here! Bring a friend too!
You already love your kids, but now you can actually like them too! 😉
Love,
Heather
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!