The Teen Party With NO Adult Chaperones….

May 30, 2017 | Posted in Challenges, Communication, Family, General, Kids, Moms, Parenting, Relationships, Self-Esteem | By

SMALLLOGO

I’m proud of something my daughter Carrie said, but I didn’t tell her I was proud, and here’s why…

So Carrie was invited to a party at her friends house. She was told the party would be totally unchaperoned!

( No parents. No rules. No freakin way right!? )

Carrie came home from school and this is what she said to me:

“Mom, I feel sad because all my friends are having a party and I’m not going. There will be no parents at the party, so I’m not going…. and I know I wouldn’t be allowed to go anyway, but really I don’t want to with no adults.”  

No. This was not a dream! My 15 year old daughter really said this to me! And my reply….

“I’m sorry you feel sad about missing the party. It sounds like you are making a great choice! How do you feel about that?” 

She told me that she felt proud of herself and I offered her a hug which she took!

Oh man… what a proud mommy moment!

I have lots of proud moments with her and I do tell her I am proud of her sometimes, but emotional intelligence is all about helping kids build their own self esteem, and self pride so they will make the right choices all on their own!

  • Kids make better choices when they want to be proud of themselves vs. just making their parents proud.
  • Kids make better choices when they are coached through challenges vs. being forced into submission.
  • Kids make better choices when they see emotional intelligence modeled for them.
  • Kids make better choices when they know how to explain their feelings instead of acting on them!

Listen, if you are pregnant, or your children are small, it’s easier to start “emotion coaching” your children now while they are still so impressionable.

If you have teens, it’s not too late, but it is much harder! If you need help, please just hit reply to this email and I am happy to talk to you about how coaching could help you and your family!

In the meantime, instead of making all the decisions for your kids: 

  • Give them age appropriate responsibility and ask them how they feel about their choices!
  • Take an interest in how they feel about things, not just the situation.
  • And when possible, let natural consequences happen instead of punishing.

Have a super duper rest of your week!!

And don’t forget… if you are struggling in your relationship, you need to check out www.diyrelationshiprepair.com today before there is no relationship left to repair!  

What do you think about today’s post? Hit reply to this email and let me know!

With love, gratitude, and inspiration,

Heather Paris


Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!

You can’t fix dead. 13 Reasons Why You’d Better Empower Your Kids.

April 24, 2017 | Posted in Anxiety, Challenges, Communication, Education, Family, General, Honesty, Learning, Moms, Parenting, Personal Development, Relationships, Stress | By

13-reasons-why

If you haven’t heard of the Netflix show “13 Reason Why” and you have children, you should really become familiar.

The long and short of it is this. A teenage girl goes through some pretty horrible experiences, creates 13 cassette tapes addressed to the people that hurt her, leaves the tapes with a friend, then goes home and commits suicide.

Does “13 Reasons Why” glorify suicide? Yes, and no. Let me explain…

If your child is mentally and emotionally strong and resilient, and not easily influenced, then no, it’s not glorifying suicide.

If your child is mentally or emotionally vulnerable, has little or no control over their emotions, and is easily influenced, then yes, absolutely it will glorify suicide to your child who’s watching the show in a raw mental state. 

I personally watched the entire series with my 15 year old daughter Carrie. There were violent scenes including 2 rapes, underage drinking and drugs, horrendous examples of parenting, and countless disappointments that make you want to scream to the screen to save this poor young girl who was already dead in the first episode. They even showed her suicide, and it wasn’t a hint, it was a full gut wrenching, emotionally torturous scene.

Carrie and I cried, we were appalled, we cringed and closed our eyes, and we gasped but most of all…. we talked. 

I don’t think any child, no matter what age, should be allowed to watch this show without parental participation and input. Again, if your teen is struggling… this series will show them how much influence a dead girl has on the world and I know that is NOT what you want your teen focused on if they are in pain.

Let me share with you 13 Reason Why you’d better empower your kids, before they think that suicide is a good option.

  1. It’s your job, responsibility, and obligation to ensure your child’s mental, emotional, social, and physical safety at all times and you can’t do that if you don’t know what they are watching, who they are with, and what they are experiencing.
  2. Your kind words may be the only ones they hear in a day.
  3. Anti-bullying campaigns don’t work. There will always be bully’s and mean people. The best way to protect your child is to teach them to protect themselves! Teach them emotional intelligence and resilience, mental strength, and some physical training wouldn’t hurt either! Self defense classes are a great way to help young people feel more secure!
  4. Make it safe for them to talk to you about anything so you can help them when they struggle. Let them know they will not get in trouble for being honest because their safety is your first priority!
  5. You can’t fix dead.
  6. When they leave the house, they need to know that no matter how bad the day was, they have a safe place to come home to. Safe from fighting, abuse, neglect, and despair… otherwise, they will find another place to spend their time and it only has to be LESS abusive, not healthy.
  7. Kids who are engaged in groups, sports, or activities with people, feel more accepted and connected and less likely to feel desperate.
  8. Kids who know how to care for their own emotional and mental needs are less likely to be discouraged when they are faced with challenges or tough times.
  9. Kids who are discerning are less likely to hang out with people who are involved in risky behavior or with people who won’t have their best interest in mind.
  10. Confident kids will advocate for themselves when they need it.
  11. Kids who understand consequences make better choices.
  12. Kids learn from, copy, and are deeply influenced by TV shows and if you don’t agree with me then explain to me why advertisers pay millions of dollars for one Superbowl commercial!
  13. Suicide doesn’t take pain away, it just gives it to other people.

Listen, this show can be a nightmare or an opportunity. If your child is struggling, don’t let them watch it and take this as a HUGE SCREAMING SIGN to do something to empower your kiddo before it’s too late! Never take your child’s safety for granted.

It is your responsibility to model good emotional and mental health for your children and to communicate with them! You can’t over communicate!

Please please please talk to your kids today. If you need help, reach out!! If you feel like you need to learn some mental and emotional intelligence yourself, join my life coach training course now and get what you need to empower yourself and your family! (Registration closes at the end of this week.)

There is NO substitute for your relationship with your child. They need you even if they say they don’t. They want you to know them, even if they say they don’t. And they love you even if they don’t say it.

Please share this article with anyone who has children. Let’s spread the word and see how many families we can help! Thank you!

Experience has made me wise, coaching has shown me how to share that wisdom.

Your friends already come to your for advice…. add these practical coaching strategies to your toolbox and blow your friends mind with your awesomeness! Become a life coach…. get paid for what you already do, and make a huge impact on your world!

Live Inspired Now Coach Training Course

You can use your experience, combined with the skills you learn to help your children, students, friends, family members, or your community!

Join us today and share your gift with the world! 

Love and inspiration,

Heather Paris

National Suicide Prevention Hotline: open 24/7
Call 1-800-273-8255


Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!

How to shut judgmental people down quickly!!

April 11, 2017 | Posted in Anxiety, Challenges, Communication, General, Personal Development, Relationships, Stress | By

Ugh… judgmental comments like….

  • “Are you really going to eat that, I thought you were on a diet?”
  • “Does your boss know you’re taking a full hour for lunch?”
  • “Ohhh, you let your kids go to the park by themselves?”

Frustrating right?

Well, getting angry, frustrated, or reacting gives away your power!!

Watch today’s short video and learn how to keep your power while shutting down the judgmental person in a gentle yet highly effective way!!

If you’ve ever dreamed of helping people turn their lives around, create happiness, or fix their broken relationship or family…. then please consider joining the Live Inspired Now Coach Training!

Experience has made me wise, coaching has shown me how to share that wisdom.

Your friends already come to your for advice…. add these practical coaching strategies to your toolbox and blow your friends mind with your awesomeness! Become a life coach…. get paid for what you already do, and make a huge impact on your world!

Live Inspired Now Coach Training Course

You can use your experience, combined with the skills you learn to help your children, students, friends, family members, or your community!

Join us today and share your gift with the world! 

Love and inspiration,

Heather Paris


Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!

You didn’t speak up because of fear of rejection or judgement…

November 29, 2016 | Posted in Anxiety, Challenges, General, Honesty, Personal Development, Self-Esteem | By

bebraveenough

Once, many years ago, a friend of mine called me “obnoxious” because I always like to be doing things. I didn’t want to just stay home… I wanted to take road trips, go to conventions, and I always had some volunteering or service project that I was involved in.

She said it was obnoxious that I “always needed something to look forward to” as if I was never content and let me know that she believed she was far more “grounded” than I was.

It hurt my feelings. I felt judged for being an adventurer, and I felt rejected by her because she never cared enough to get involved in any of my projects, or even to ask about them.

The worst part of it all, was that I constantly questioned myself instead of looking at the source of the criticism. And that is common.

Criticism or judgment comes our way and we think “What’s wrong with ME” instead of asking ourselves “What’s wrong in this person’s life that they need to criticize me?” 

I lived like a prisoner to the opinion of other people for far too long and I didn’t speak up because I was afraid of hearing “I don’t want to be your friend anymore!”

I let people who would insult me have power over me! That’s just crazy!

So I learned to be brave enough to live life my way. I hope you will too!

Here are a few tips to be brave enough to live life your way:

1 Keep it real. Let’s face it, if someone is willing to dump you because you have an opinion, then they don’t deserve to be in your life anyway! Upgrade your tribe!

2 Embrace your supporters! You DO have someone in your life that is always supportive…. embrace them, thank them, and invite them to the celebration of YOU!

3 Realize that judgment is nothing more than an opinion. And do you want to live by the opinion of someone else, especially if he’s a jerk? No way!

4 Try it! Action will always make you feel brave! Over-thinking or prolonged planning will only hold you back from taking that first step!

5 Be aware and accepting! It’s OK to be afraid of doing, being, or trying… don’t beat yourself up! Admit you are afraid, accept that fear is normal, and go for it while you are still afraid!

6 Nobody ever died from judgment or rejection! Allow yourself to feel sad, hurt, embarrassed or whatever and then move on!

A friend (a real friend) once said to me, “I admire you, You are always so brave, you don’t care what other people think!”  I thought about that statement for a long time and responded… “I care what you think, but I no longer care what some people think. We only have limited, precious time on earth and I won’t squander that time on people that don’t appreciate me as I am.”

I honor who you are, and I hope you will honor YOU as well!

Love and Inspiration,

Heather

Want help with something you are struggling with? Contact me today!


Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!

Keep them safe not comfortable…

September 13, 2016 | Posted in Challenges, Family, General, Kids, Learning, Moms, Parenting, Self-Esteem | By

safenotcomfortable
Lately it seems most of my clients are parents so I thought I would pass along the wisdom I have shared several times this week!

You are responsible for keeping your kids safe, not comfortable!

We all want our kids to be happy and healthy, and we never want them to suffer. But sometimes we mistake “suffering” for discomfort.

Discomfort is appropriate and healthy. Discomfort creates an environment for kids to learn how to self soothe, take responsibility, and discover their own strengths. 

Here are a few tips to creating and allowing an appropriate level of discomfort:

  • Allow your kids to complete their own homework, or projects without your input
  • Don’t always rush out to their school to bring them what they forgot at home
  • Encourage your kids to try new things
  • Assign household responsibilities (aka chores)
  • Instead of giving your opinion, ask them what THEY think
  • Ask for their advice, input, or opinion on family matters (not critical issues)
  • Use natural consequences instead of punishments
  • Use boundaries instead of discipline
  • Stop over praising and start asking them how THEY think they did, look, performed, etc…

Remember when they were toddlers and kept falling down while they were learning to walk? Those falls eventually turned into strength and balance! 

Let’s be honest, raising kids is the hardest thing you will ever do! It was hard to watch them fall as toddlers, and it’s hard to watch them struggle as teenagers, But it’s worth it when you know they are prepared for the tough world that’s full of challenges!

There are easy solutions to most parenting challenges, all you have to do is reach out and ask for help! Another quick tip… if you can, ask for help BEFORE it becomes critical!

If you are in Upstate New York, please check out this FREE event:

3 Exceptional Talks at the Family Wellness Event that will change your life:

  • Raise your kids GPA! by Special Education Teacher Katie Dennis
  • Get your teenagers engaged in a positive passion! by 15 yr old life coach Carrie Deaville
  • Fix your damaged or dying relationship! presented by Me!

September 22nd, 5:30 – 7:30pm at NaturTyme
Register, share, and get more info here! Bring a friend too! 

You already love your kids, but now you can actually like them too! 😉 

Love,

Heather


Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!