“Hey Heather,
I am a hot mess! I am separated from my 3rd husband and ready to move on. I am tired of moving on with the wrong people. I find myself with people just for the ‘comfort’ but they are unhealthy, and I know they are not for me. In relationships, I feel like I am often either the doormat or a major bitch! I don’t want to get hurt again, but I also don’t want to hurt another person. I am just starting to enjoy being alone for the first time since I was a teenager. Is this normal? I’m too old to keep making dead-end mistakes that leave me heartbroken. Any advice or suggestions?” -Hot Mess
Dear Hot Mess,
Welcome to the “hot mess club!” It’s actually a really beneficial place to be because now you have learned all the lessons, and gone through the hard part!! Time to move past the hurt and start to really experience all the love, joy, and happiness that life has to offer!! You can start this journey by doing some “self-awareness” work. Time to ditch the people who are holding you back or hurting you in any way! YOU DESERVE TO BE HAPPY! Sounds like you have already started to create some boundaries with the unhealthy people in your life, good job! Feel free to delete, block, or ignore the rest of them! I went through this too. I had to “upgrade” the people I let be in my life. Self empowerment: just do it! Do things that might be a little scary but will get you out of that “comfort” that you mentioned. Comfort is for couches, not personal growth! Get out there and start meeting new people, trying new things, and take courses that will teach you more about yourself. You have been a mom and a wife for so long that you forgot that you are also a woman with your own dreams too! It is time to start doing things that YOU LOVE, that will excite you and help you remember to laugh and be happy! Sounds like you are a very strong lady, let that strength continue to help you grow and learn so you can go out and grab life by the balls! I was a hot mess for a while too! I was married 3 times before I met my current husband. I did it. So can you!!!! You just have to be willing to take a few steps to improve your life!
Here are a few small steps:
Read self-help books (I hope you will start with mine, you will like the stories! Live Inspired Now: A Field Guide For Happiness)
Put notes all over your house with positive messages on them!
Ditch, delete, and disregard Debbie Downers, then DISCOVER new, more positive people! (maybe look for a positive meetup group in your area at meetup.com )
Exercise a little each day…. even if it’s just a short walk.
Crank up some fun music and dance, sway, or move in some way….. smile, laugh, and enjoy it!
Put on some comedy! Do whatever makes you laugh!
Spend a few minutes each day in gratitude for all that you are. You woke up today…. that alone is enough to be grateful for!
Turn off the news. There will always be bad in the world, but there will also be good. Focus on the GOOD!
Just try these few things and notice how your life turns around! Life is what WE make it… so go make your life awesome! Instead of a “hot mess” just be hot…. red-hot, on fire for life! Your life, your rules my dear! Live Inspired NOW!!!
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
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