The Teen Party With NO Adult Chaperones….

May 30, 2017 | Posted in Challenges, Communication, Family, General, Kids, Moms, Parenting, Relationships, Self-Esteem | By

SMALLLOGO

I’m proud of something my daughter Carrie said, but I didn’t tell her I was proud, and here’s why…

So Carrie was invited to a party at her friends house. She was told the party would be totally unchaperoned!

( No parents. No rules. No freakin way right!? )

Carrie came home from school and this is what she said to me:

“Mom, I feel sad because all my friends are having a party and I’m not going. There will be no parents at the party, so I’m not going…. and I know I wouldn’t be allowed to go anyway, but really I don’t want to with no adults.”  

No. This was not a dream! My 15 year old daughter really said this to me! And my reply….

“I’m sorry you feel sad about missing the party. It sounds like you are making a great choice! How do you feel about that?” 

She told me that she felt proud of herself and I offered her a hug which she took!

Oh man… what a proud mommy moment!

I have lots of proud moments with her and I do tell her I am proud of her sometimes, but emotional intelligence is all about helping kids build their own self esteem, and self pride so they will make the right choices all on their own!

  • Kids make better choices when they want to be proud of themselves vs. just making their parents proud.
  • Kids make better choices when they are coached through challenges vs. being forced into submission.
  • Kids make better choices when they see emotional intelligence modeled for them.
  • Kids make better choices when they know how to explain their feelings instead of acting on them!

Listen, if you are pregnant, or your children are small, it’s easier to start “emotion coaching” your children now while they are still so impressionable.

If you have teens, it’s not too late, but it is much harder! If you need help, please just hit reply to this email and I am happy to talk to you about how coaching could help you and your family!

In the meantime, instead of making all the decisions for your kids: 

  • Give them age appropriate responsibility and ask them how they feel about their choices!
  • Take an interest in how they feel about things, not just the situation.
  • And when possible, let natural consequences happen instead of punishing.

Have a super duper rest of your week!!

And don’t forget… if you are struggling in your relationship, you need to check out www.diyrelationshiprepair.com today before there is no relationship left to repair!  

What do you think about today’s post? Hit reply to this email and let me know!

With love, gratitude, and inspiration,

Heather Paris


Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!

Why you shouldn’t forgive!

May 23, 2017 | Posted in Challenges, Change, General, Personal Development, Self-Esteem | By

ForgiveYourself

I know this goes against what most people say, but I don’t believe in forgiving everyone!

Some things shouldn’t be forgiven because if you do, you run the risk of softening your convictions.

Convictions are fuel for purpose and help you take action that could make positive change in the world!

Forgive a child molester, rapist, or murderer? No freakin way!

I don’t want to soften how I feel about people who pose real and actual danger to myself or other people!

You don’t owe forgiveness to anyone but yourself!

In fact, it’s not YOUR responsibility to forgive anyone BUT yourself.

I have found that most people are more upset with themselves than with the person who hurt them. They blame themselves for not “saying no,” for “not being strong enough to fight,” and even for “being stupid enough to fall for the lies.”

The real forgiveness is only owed to yourself! Stop beating yourself up for being a victim! The most empowering thing you can do is to forgive yourself and find ways to not be the victim again!

The other person can work on his or her own forgiveness. 

I would encourage you to understand instead of forgiving. So maybe you understand that the person who hurt you was abused as a child and learned to hurt others. It’s not an excuse, and no forgiveness is needed, but you understand that “hurt people hurt people.”

Forgiveness is a deeply personal act of sacrifice because you are agreeing to override your feelings to give absolution to another. This is something that should be honored and reserved for people who are truly sorry, have made amends, and will not repeat what they have done. 

Everyone else can have compassion because you are able to understand how they became so damaged, but not forgiven.

What do you think about today’s post? Hit reply to this email and let me know!

With love, gratitude, and inspiration,

Heather Paris

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Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!

Why you should stop telling your kid you are proud of them!

March 7, 2017 | Posted in Family, General, Kids, Parenting, Self-Esteem | By

17200367_10211747278293290_1003290547_oRecently a client asked me “How can I instill a sense of pride in my kid?”

My answer: “Stop telling them you are proud of them every time they do something!” 

No really. Just stop. Here’s why.

When we over praise, we teach kids that they should be doing things for us, for the validation, and not for their own self satisfaction.

It also teaches them that their worth is equated to what they do, produce, or achieve.

Trade your praise for love and affection and ask your child how they feel about their own performance instead.

The picture shown here is the inside of a card that I sent to our daughter Madison. She is 22 and just got a great job! I am proud of her…. but not because she got a great job.

I am proud of her because she’s my daughter and I love her. 

It may sound like such a small distinction but when your child fails at something, and they will, they will believe they have let you down, and that they are not worthy of your affection or love if you only praise achievements.

I see it every single day and it breaks my heart.

So instead of praising your kiddo all of the time, try this instead.

Ask them: “How do you feel you did?” Then respond to their feelings.

There is definitely a time and place for praising your kiddos! I like to praise them when they do acts of kindness that you wouldn’t normally expect. Like seeing a woman in the grocery store dropping items and running over to help, or offering their own money to someone in need and so on.

Even then, be sure to ask them how those acts made them feel! Allow them to grow a sense of pride in themselves by advocating for their success without over praising. Then, instead of praising, try saying something like “That was beautiful to see, thank you!”

Let me know your thoughts or please do share your story at the bottom of the page!

Experience has made me wise, coaching has shown me how to share that wisdom.

If you are ready to join the mission to raise emotional intelligence and teach others how to as well, please learn more about the Live Inspired Now Coach Training and get your FREE 6 Day Mini Coaching Course:

Live Inspired Now Coach Training Course

You can use your experience, combined with the skills you learn to help your children, students, friends, family members, or your community!

Join us today and share your gift with the world! 

Love and inspiration,

Heather Paris


Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!

You didn’t speak up because of fear of rejection or judgement…

November 29, 2016 | Posted in Anxiety, Challenges, General, Honesty, Personal Development, Self-Esteem | By

bebraveenough

Once, many years ago, a friend of mine called me “obnoxious” because I always like to be doing things. I didn’t want to just stay home… I wanted to take road trips, go to conventions, and I always had some volunteering or service project that I was involved in.

She said it was obnoxious that I “always needed something to look forward to” as if I was never content and let me know that she believed she was far more “grounded” than I was.

It hurt my feelings. I felt judged for being an adventurer, and I felt rejected by her because she never cared enough to get involved in any of my projects, or even to ask about them.

The worst part of it all, was that I constantly questioned myself instead of looking at the source of the criticism. And that is common.

Criticism or judgment comes our way and we think “What’s wrong with ME” instead of asking ourselves “What’s wrong in this person’s life that they need to criticize me?” 

I lived like a prisoner to the opinion of other people for far too long and I didn’t speak up because I was afraid of hearing “I don’t want to be your friend anymore!”

I let people who would insult me have power over me! That’s just crazy!

So I learned to be brave enough to live life my way. I hope you will too!

Here are a few tips to be brave enough to live life your way:

1 Keep it real. Let’s face it, if someone is willing to dump you because you have an opinion, then they don’t deserve to be in your life anyway! Upgrade your tribe!

2 Embrace your supporters! You DO have someone in your life that is always supportive…. embrace them, thank them, and invite them to the celebration of YOU!

3 Realize that judgment is nothing more than an opinion. And do you want to live by the opinion of someone else, especially if he’s a jerk? No way!

4 Try it! Action will always make you feel brave! Over-thinking or prolonged planning will only hold you back from taking that first step!

5 Be aware and accepting! It’s OK to be afraid of doing, being, or trying… don’t beat yourself up! Admit you are afraid, accept that fear is normal, and go for it while you are still afraid!

6 Nobody ever died from judgment or rejection! Allow yourself to feel sad, hurt, embarrassed or whatever and then move on!

A friend (a real friend) once said to me, “I admire you, You are always so brave, you don’t care what other people think!”  I thought about that statement for a long time and responded… “I care what you think, but I no longer care what some people think. We only have limited, precious time on earth and I won’t squander that time on people that don’t appreciate me as I am.”

I honor who you are, and I hope you will honor YOU as well!

Love and Inspiration,

Heather

Want help with something you are struggling with? Contact me today!


Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!

Are you a “Love Warrior?”

October 11, 2016 | Posted in Anxiety, Challenges, Communication, Education, Family, General, Happiness, Honesty, Inspiration, Love, Personal Development, Relationships, Self-Esteem, Stress | By

Love-Warrior-400

Wow wow wow!!!

I recommend books all the time, but THIS book… seriously, I almost unfriended someone over it! lol

The other day I told a friend, “If you don’t read Love Warrior, we can no longer be friends!” And although I wasn’t seriously going to unfriend her, I was serious about my passion for this book!

Love Warrior will transform your thinking, and inspire your soul! I hope you will read it, and I really hope you will let me know what you think of it too. Get Love Warrior on Amazon here.

The book you don’t read won’t help! -Jim Rohn

I am not going to tell you anything about the book itself. I want you to discover all the beauty, raw truth, and inspiration for yourself. But do let me know what you think!! 🙂

Have you already read the book? Be sure to share it with someone who could use it!

Love and Inspiration,

Heather


Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!